[In this for ME]

I got the same one about didn't you notice:
H said
"I've been walking around out behind the house a lot didn't you notice?"

I told him I thought he was getting some exercise!

Yeah the act was a good one.
Even when confronted with emailing ow
He said "Now that name I haven't heard in years..I have no idea what you are talking about"
And me being the wife WANTED to belveve him and could not tell he was lying so I must have been pretty unconscince too.

Then he admitted it the next day to me at work..of course so I couldn't throw a fit.
When we talked about it when I got home I was amazed how calm I was.
I knew I couldn't stop it anyway.

[livingmylife]

I didn't think you loved me anymore......
I need space.......
I don't know.......................was always his answer to all my questions.....

[LettingGo]

I'm getting the one about being rejected a lot now... I actually DID reject him two of the times he is referencing  but the third time was just a week ago when he didn't come home on Friday after calling me that afternoon to tell me he was coming home just as soon as he broke up with OW "for good" after he finished his lunch... then he texted me on Sunday night to say he was on his way as he "finally did it!" um.... I said, "is there anything you need to say to me?" and his answer was "no, not really.." so when he asked if he could move back in with us I said NO. This was less than an hour after breaking up with her and loading up his car with his stuff. So he turned around and went back to sleep at their apartment in the bed he bought for them a few weeks ago  since he had "nowhere else to go". BUT, they didn't have sex so it's "not that bad"  Seriously?

To his credit, though, Monday morning he came home and broke up with her again on the phone (blamed me for having to do it all over again  ) and blaming her for "not accepting it".

So, he tells me I rejected him Sunday night when he needed me the most... I pointed out to him that he had just rejected ME in the worst way, AGAIN, with the big lie on Friday night about being stuck in traffic and would spend the night in a hotel and "see ya tomorrow!"

I think the "rejection" script is about childhood abandonment issues, plain and simple and there is NO way you can stay out of that line of fire because they are completely unaware and grasping at straws...

[justkeepmoving]

LG,
  I don't know about you but I am fed up with all the excuses and lies.  If they would just be honest we could move through the pain and go on.  But with all the lies they tell how can you possibly ever trust what they say or what they do.  Sorry but I'm not in a good place this morning.  I don't know if resentment is building up but I find our sitch so unfair and just want some honesty for once.  No more excuses !!

[In this for ME]

I agree it's the lying I can't stand!!!!! And yes some of our pain would end if that would  just stop. But how whould you ever know? And how long would it take for us to believe them??

[LettingGo]

They can't stop lying.... it's a compulsion. My husband has told me he doesn't know why he lies.... I've heard from others on the forum that their MLCers lie about stupid stuff even. RCR does reference the lying and the reasons behind it in her works - mainly they lie because they don't want to be found out and because they are ashamed.

 When I asked my husband where he spent Sunday night after our conversation about whether he had anything to say to me or not went NOWHERE, he said "I don't want to say" but then he told me he went back to OW to sleep. I told him I already knew... which I had figured out because they are so easy to predict. He thinks I'm a genius or a witch, however for being so smart, LOL! I'm glad he told me the truth for once, BUT, let me tell you, sometimes the lies are to protect you from UGLY stuff and you should let it go for that reason. I knew where he spent Sunday night, but it hurt to hear it from his lips. You can't win for losing with MLC.

Let the lying go for now, ladies. The best thing you can do is stop asking questions.

[In this for ME]

I try not to ask any.
 But I guess what I'm wondering is when they actually offer information, can it possibly be the truth?

[justkeepmoving]

Who the heck knows.  My H has been caught so many times since this is all happened.  He was neve a lier before MLC so I think that's why he's always getting caught.  I wish they would just stop the lying.  What more could they do to us anyway ?  The truth may hurt for sometime but at least it's the truth.

[In this for ME]

I think mine was more of a liar before I made an "honest man" of him..but went right back.

Oh well maybe that was all he could do to hold it in for 27 years; the lure of it all was just too much.

Yeah he told me the other day he didn't want to tell me the truth about something because it would hurt me too much. Hey I'm already disemboweled; what more can he do?

[whatever]

My h said that too...he couldn't tell me the truth because I couldn't handle it
and it would hurt me too much.  Whatever, I'm stronger than he thinks.  And I agree
yes the truth hurts but at least if we know what the truth is we can deal with it and
move on!