[Mamma Bear]

      Special K,  There's a great article in the articles section. Actually several. here's what I got: Someone who may not be a skank ho to begin with but through her actions during our Hs crisis (the infatuation hormones and stress chemicals and abandment fears) create an emotional storm of cycling and possessive behavior that blows up in their faces. Affair down could also be like my H hooking up with a poor woman who has nothing except problems and needs him to rescue her so he can feel all big and puffy and needed.     LOVED THE ARTICLES...ask a techno savvy person to drop them in here

[SpecialK]

Thanks MB - can anyone out there help me 

Stayed I meant to acknowledge this earlier:

Personally specialk, I don't think another person ever makes anybody happy.  There are just too many things against the relationship working out.  This new OW of your h's is sad, because she really doesn't have any knowledge of you.  She probably has very little information regarding the mother of his son.  Seems to me, like she sort of got "sucked" into the big hole of your partners crisis.

He did tell me she knows about his situation and she's fine with it.  But obviously I don't know how much he's told her.  I for one would not be happy if I'd meet someone who told me that his ex partner (who he absolutely no ties with) is living in his house, rent free and who pay all the bills, oh and I also give her money.  Unless of course he wants her to think he's a superhero!  Personally you woulnd't see me for dust - Forest Gump would have nothing on me!


SK xxxx

SKxxx

[stayed]

MMMMMMMM that is interesting specialK.  Still, just because he says it, doesn't make it true.  My favourite MLC joke is:

Q- How can you tell your partner is lying?

A- His/her, lips are moving! 

Sorry specialk, you may not think that is funny, but to the average LBSer, the one thing we all catch onto real quick... OUR SPOUSE LIE! 

  sad but true!

hugs Stayed

[Mamma Bear]

  SK on main page articles section on the left. Standing Actions. Go all the way down Affair Down Articles...Where's DGU  Snow Day   LOL!

[SpecialK]

Stayed, joke is very true 

It was me that asked him did she know about his situation which he replied, yes.  I then asked what did she think, he answered 'she's fine about it'

He's lied to me in the past.  When he came back in May 2009, it wasn't until end of September 2009 that he told me about Scary Bird.  I asked why they didn't get back together (she was causing loads of grief at that time).  He said they had tried, but it didn't work.  He told me they got together Christmas of 2008, two months after BD.  I accepted it.  Fast forward to January 2011 and Scary Bird called me late one night.  She told me all about their affair and that it had started in early September 2008 when I was at my Mum's in Spain. I didn't suspect anything.  I trusted him - he was the one that always said he didn't believe in lies, not even 'little white lies'.  I did find letters that she had written to him, express her love for him, that she coulldn't believe he felt the same way about her.  She even tried to compete with me (I find that very sad).  I found receipts of all the presents he bought her that Christmas, it felt like he was trying to create what he had with me.  On reflection that's probably how he is.

I don't think Miss Wales is an 'affair down'.  She's new, exciting and he's love with her.  In all honestly she's welcome to him because I don't believe he's fun to be around right now, unless of coure he is completely different with her.

Thanks MB, I will look for it and have a good read.


Hugs SKxxxx

[LoveMeMyself]

SK,

    You actually have no true idea what he is saying to OW...........they tell lies.  My exH hooked up with his second OW on FB.  She just happened to be an old High School classmate.  I didn't realize he was MLC at the time so I made some BIG MISTAKES.  I contacted her........told her I was his wife......which we were still married at the time.  Well, the fact is.....he had lied to her.  They had a big fight and she dumped him..........BUT.........he managed to lie his way back into her life within a day.  Then she slammed blasted me with text messages telling me how pathetic I was and a liar.  That she would NEVER get involved with a married man.  Really??  I let her have it back and ended by telling her I'd see her in Court!!  See, my exH had told her that I was the problem and the divorce was all but final except for a minor issue on my end.  That was the furtherest from the truth as the divorce had only been filed by him and nothing more had progressed.  I stayed on him about how horrible it was for him to be lying to her and dragging her into an affair without her knowledge.  Anyway, that affair/OW lasted from March until May.  It fell completely apart (like I knew it would)......oh, and we were still married at the time.  So, my exH told me that HE ended it because "it wasn't working"..........he then told me she knew things weren't right and besides, he said, "I  knew it was hurting you".  Wow, really??  Go figure.  All of this took place in 2010.  Just wanted to give you something to think about.

(((HUGS)))

[Sassyone]

SpecialK:

It's sad but true.  They lie to us, the OW, themselves, their co-workers, kids, basically everyone.  It sucks, especially when it goes so against their nature as we thought we knew it.

I asked my H similar questions and he said she knew everything, come to find out that was BS.  They hook up with a person that is a mirror of who they are at that momement.  So if they are screwed up you can imagine the OW is just as screwed up.  They don't have a good relationship, they fight ALOT, they do and say things to each other that your H wouldn't normally do. 

Heck, my H told Sasquatch everyday he was moving out, getting a divorce and would marry her.  Well he moved out (for four days) but nothing else happened.  He never came home and told me about her, nor asked for a divorce yet he told her he did every day.  Oh yea, they embelish how bad their life is at home, even when you are being a lighthouse.  (For example, H got a huge bruise on his back from moving Sasquatch 500 lb couch into his 4 day love nest.  Well I found it on his back when he got in the shower with me one morning (remember he was moving out in a day or two but I was none the wiser) and touched it and asked him what happened (I remember joking asking if he got screwing in the woods (didn't know about affair then either) he laughted it off.  Days later I find a picture of H with his shirt pulled up and a picture of the bruise.  Yup Sasquatch took the pic and H made up this sob story of how I did it to him!!!! So not true, but like I said he wanted to be mommied and she wanted to do it so it was a perfect opportunity to throw her off the trail of his own insecurities about what he was doing to himself and his family.) They paint a very dim picture and want to be mommied (at least mine wanted that, although I doubt he would admit it.)  They breakup multiple times.  Think of your worst high school relationship, and multiple that sitch by 1000 and you get an affair down!  Yet at the time, they think this person is perfect . 

H has since told me that he knew he was hurting me, he didn't care, he wanted both lives.  They build this horrible fortress around their hearts and won't let us penetrate it.  They are hooked up with OW for the sheer excitment, adrenaline, hormormones, etc.  It isn't love, it never was.  H has told me he would just say things to get what he wanted, just like a 17 year old boy would do to get what he wanted.  They have sexual dysfunctions with them too even if they blamed them on us!

Plain and simple, they just lie and it sucks.

Hugs,

Sassy

[kikki]

hormormones,

LOL Sassy  - I guess this was a typo - but made me chuckle   

The MLC version  HOR- MOR- MONES      Think you're onto something

[stayed]

The MLC version  HOR- MOR- MONES      Think you're onto something

FUNNY!! REALLY FUNNY!!! 

HUGS Stayed

[Sassyone]

 Perhqps a Freudian slip.