[NoRegrets]

"You didn't have faith in me. She has faith in me." 

(To do what, I'll never know. Pay her bills? I think that "I have faith in you" is OP script.)

Problem is, I had way too MUCH faith in him, and look where it got us.   

[Reinventing]

With Gods Help!, that had me laughing out loud. Sorry you went through it, but thanks for sharing.

[brokenhearted]

 I am laughing out loud for the first time in a long time. Thank you for starting this thread.  The potatoes and cabbage were too funny. The "town bike"....hahaha!

Prior to BD my partner had a checkup. The results had been on the counter for weeks, where he had put them, ( low t, low vitamin d, ), all of which can cause depression...anyway I mentioned my concern with the tests, mentioned these things could cause depression.  He became very upset, wanted to know where I got his medical records, accused me of breaking in, stealing them from his doctor???!!!!  All the while there they were, and had been for weeks, on the table a few feet from him! Where he had put them!

Told  me he was praying for me nightly that I would meet someone as wonderful as the ow!!!

Found him walking down a street, with his car parked by his dentist's office. Stopped and asked him what he was doing. Told me he left the nursing home where his dad was because the nurse's were changing him, decided to drive somewhere and go for a walk and then go back and see his dad. This is making no sense to me as I had sat at the nursing home many times while nurses worked on his dad and we had never left as it only took a few minutes.
Later, I found out where the ow lived. He was walking in front of her house that night.

Told me I was in denial and needed help because we were finished and I wasn't accepting it. (2 days after BD)

Ok folks, the topper....drum roll please....due to medical issues and medicine he was taking he had issues with ED. Day after BD,(2nd BD when I found out about ow) he supposedly had had 2 dates with her at this point, was practicing out loud how he would tell ow.. wanted my input...are you kidding me??!!!!!!

[Mamma Bear]

   Who could ever forget my H saying "OW never wanted to be an OW! She wants NOTHING to do with a married man! That's why she watched for a month and decided you didn't love me. So it's OK."      Plus I never met her or saw her in my life, but she watched for a month and decided I didn't love my husband.
   And to our Ds 8 and 10 at the BD time "OW and me and Mommy will all be friends. We'll go to the diner." 

My favorite so far is Phoenix "what's the matter haven't you ever beeen dumped before?"
That's psychotic! And the norm for all of us!

[Slow Fade]

A classic was "I tried" when asked if we could go to counseling and try and save our marriage. I'm not sure if you count the time boinking schmoopie as the time you were trying to save your marriage

I got this one too! Now I'm getting it when he can't pay child support.

[calamity]

A classic was "I tried" when asked if we could go to counseling and try and save our marriage. I'm not sure if you count the time boinking schmoopie as the time you were trying to save your marriage.

Yep. A classic.

[Faithfully Yours]

Told me I was in denial and needed help because we were finished and I wasn't accepting it. (2 days after BD)

Brokenhearted: I have heard this one too, almost word for word. He just doesn't understand why I can't move on. Really? We were together 22 years! Ugh.

[Phoenix]

There is a humorous book called, When Parents Text. I think these should all be compiled into a book called, When MLCers Speak. 

I am envious of your face, Superdog. I could use some of that power as I go through the legal process.

Phoenix

[Mamma Bear]

    I got that too, "Move forward , let go move on"   Didn't phase me since he was texting me at midnight and I wasn't texting him. LOL!
    In the beginning the things H said made me 
    Now my left brain right brain thinking allows me to anticpate that some wild weird interaction could take place at drop offs and picks ups but I don't let it anymore...
    Always the MLCer will speak of random things like junk mail or a yard sale or whatever.  Acting like we don't care freaks them out though. Even if their masks hide it! Otherwise this wouldn't be happening. It's too weird.
 

[CallanG]

Told me I was in denial and needed help because we were finished and I wasn't accepting it. (2 days after BD)

Brokenhearted: I have heard this one too, almost word for word. He just doesn't understand why I can't move on. Really? We were together 22 years! Ugh.

I got this one aswell , he even sent me a list of Councellors . So helpful