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Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer No Contact

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Interacting with Your MLCer Re: No Contact
#20: September 13, 2013, 11:07:46 AM
My situation is differnt in reagrds to dealing with him.

The violence and emotional abuse isn't something I'm interested in so I want him to simply leave me alone which is so far so good...but I know him and I'm not sure how much longer it will last.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact
#21: September 13, 2013, 04:52:21 PM
148 days since I have not seen or pretty much heard from the exmlcer.

 Emails two or three back when I moved at the end of June. That's it.

It's like I'm living a totally different life then I did back then..I am actually. I'm FREE free of the control and the games and all of the crap they dish out and expect us to eat!

I guess what I'm afraid of now is that I will forget...forget his total lack of respect for me or concern. And I do not EVER want to see him again. I don't know how realistic I am being. I hate it when the doubts creep in.

There's no doubt I want nothing to do with him. I'm unwilling to forgive because that to me just seems to make it "OK" what he did.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact
#22: September 15, 2013, 08:28:10 AM
Post on Still have Hopes thread:

. I'm realizing now that the break was the best thing for me. You get to a point where yes, you may risk having too much distance between you however you do it for YOU. Not to get him back or make him think twice.

You do it because it's the last choice you have to your mental well-being. I think it's our own form of rock bottom as the LBS. And then you start to change your mindset.

What things do YOU want to do or NOT want to do. What do you want to eat for dinner? There are benefits to being single (even with young kids).

When you are alone it's your time and you get to fill it with the things that you love. This takes time but if you get through the hard part you will start to see that.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact
#23: September 22, 2013, 09:09:49 PM
« How to Live Life – Life Lessons from Dr. Randy PauschMarriage humor – Cake or Bed »
How Life Works — There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein

Are you doing the same things, the same way, over and over again and expecting different results?

I stumbled across this poem, “There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk,” by Portia Nelson. The poem creates an analogy between life and a journey down a sidewalk. This made me think about the choices we make in life. How many times do we keep making choices that only lead us into the same “hole in the sidewalk?”

There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk
– by Portia Nelson

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault… I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.


Expect setbacks... but if you are losing your mind? Try No contact or at least dark.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact
#24: September 23, 2013, 04:49:36 AM
Omg  i have been reeled in yet again am shaking as I write this he has been saying about getting back together then denies it now he is blaming everything on me i have pushed him away over last 18moths if i loved him i would have showed him , i am a nasty person wtf

i am not do they ever reconcile when it has been so horrible , i cant believe he has done this 180 since we were together and he blames me i really feel i gonna have a nervous breakdown
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Re: No Contact
#25: September 23, 2013, 05:01:36 AM
That's HIS objective! STOP LISTENING TO HIM!!!

They do NOT want to take any responsibility for ANYTHING!!

HE KNOWS he can make a PUPPET out of your emotions. STOP LISTENING TO HIM.
BREATHE try and calm yourself.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact
#26: September 23, 2013, 05:10:48 AM
Aw in it why is it so hard to let go and detach i thought i was doing so well, i am trying to breathe and ignore but is so hard i really feel i am going la la too
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Re: No Contact
#27: September 23, 2013, 05:14:01 AM
YOU ARE DOING GREAT! EXPECT SETBACKS!! Now go dark or as NC as close as you can.
YOU are much stronger than you were before!

You are NOT going to La La he's TRYING to send you. You do not HAVE to GO. Don't let him play on YOUR FEARS!

((( HUGS)))))
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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  • Posts: 1255
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact
#28: September 23, 2013, 05:33:24 AM
thank you in it I am trying  I keep reading and seeing RCR information saying about replay, i dont think i can cope with this being such a long road , I know he is not himself but I just cant believe the cruelty and nastiness and the ow being the saint ,

he wants to remember the person i was because i so horrible now ???? but he chose to walk away from the lovely person I was that he wants to remember and all our happy times build up to holidays going on holliday sitting watching movies together??  but he walked away from all that he is going back to ow this week for his ten days off so wont have any contact i know he has made another offer to solictitor so will find out what that is when i get home and no doubt be stressed again

but i am coping bettre thanks to you all and my son who keeps saying listen to everyone else and DO NOT text him back you are just feeding his ego??

hugs back and thank you xx
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Re: No Contact
#29: September 23, 2013, 05:46:35 AM
EXACTLY!! As long as he can engage you in ANYTHING it just keeps the feed going. Listen to your son.
Now we are going to enjoy 10 days OFF.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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