[OldPilot]

I know you were starting a "new" list for mentors when I started on the forum. I hadn't heard anything yet, so I'm just checking to be sure I hadn't fallen through the cracks.

THANKS!

Ukusa, I checked and you are on the list. The amount of newbies compared to the amount of mentors is huge. We will get you in.

Yes you are first on the list and unfortunately we seem to only be assigning mentors once a month or so now.

If I miss anyone please PM me or RCR and let us know that you want a mentor.

Thanks

[brokenandconfused]

I don't know what to do, nor where to turn nor what to think. I was referred to this blog because it is so helpful. W of 23 years left me two weeks ago, found out there were 2 affairs in the last three years. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. She says she cant see  a future with me because I will never change. I'm a 43 year old no Drinking, drugs or abuse. HELP

[Ready2Transform]

I don't know what to do, nor where to turn nor what to think. I was referred to this blog because it is so helpful. W of 23 years left me two weeks ago, found out there were 2 affairs in the last three years. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. She says she cant see  a future with me because I will never change. I'm a 43 year old no Drinking, drugs or abuse. HELP

Sounds very MLC script.  Sorry you are going through this, but glad you found us!  Read everything you can in the blog and the main site (links for both in my signature if you haven't found them yet).  It will help you make sense where there is none. 

[Anjae]

I don't know what to do, nor where to turn nor what to think. I was referred to this blog because it is so helpful. W of 23 years left me two weeks ago, found out there were 2 affairs in the last three years. She says she loves me but is not in love with me. She says she cant see  a future with me because I will never change. I'm a 43 year old no Drinking, drugs or abuse. HELP

If you haven't done it yet, I sugest that you start your own thread, tell your story and situation there so that we can both help and follow your story.

[Crazytrain2014]

I have a question and wondered if anyone had any thoughts. I frequently hear that people in MLC recoil or will move around to avoid being touched by their spouse. I dated someone for 6 years andlived together for 3 weeks post breakup. We still hugged or brushed up against each other and we were definitely DONE.

Is it is a mental thing with the MLCer? I find that so strange....Any thoughts appreciated.

[Ready2Transform]

I have a question and wondered if anyone had any thoughts. I frequently hear that people in MLC recoil or will move around to avoid being touched by their spouse. I dated someone for 6 years andlived together for 3 weeks post breakup. We still hugged or brushed up against each other and we were definitely DONE.

Is it is a mental thing with the MLCer? I find that so strange....Any thoughts appreciated.

Mine said it was physically painful to be touched by me from about midway in 2010 though the end of 2011.  He claimed to have what felt like a "bruised aura".  I've found reference to people with really low serotonin, which I believe to be part of this, having a similar symptom, so I don't believe it was just an excuse he made up.  He had a brief peep out of the tunnel at the end of 2011 where that subsided and he talked more about it - how it was confusing to him but very real.  From 2012 on I observed it coming and going.  Sometimes he *had* to hug me.  Sometimes I could tell he was testing, to see if he *could* hug me.  Other time he would go out of his way to avoid even bumping into me, even though it was him that was initiating in-person contact. 

It's absolutely a sign how abnormal this is.  I wish I could tell you something to change it, because it can be very hurtful to have even common physical contact withdrawn so cruelly and needlessly. 

[Searching4Answers]

I have a question and wondered if anyone had any thoughts. I frequently hear that people in MLC recoil or will move around to avoid being touched by their spouse. I dated someone for 6 years andlived together for 3 weeks post breakup. We still hugged or brushed up against each other and we were definitely DONE.

Is it is a mental thing with the MLCer? I find that so strange....Any thoughts appreciated.

Mine said it was physically painful to be touched by me from about midway in 2010 though the end of 2011.  He claimed to have what felt like a "bruised aura".  I've found reference to people with really low serotonin, which I believe to be part of this, having a similar symptom, so I don't believe it was just an excuse he made up.  He had a brief peep out of the tunnel at the end of 2011 where that subsided and he talked more about it - how it was confusing to him but very real.  From 2012 on I observed it coming and going.  Sometimes he *had* to hug me.  Sometimes I could tell he was testing, to see if he *could* hug me.  Other time he would go out of his way to avoid even bumping into me, even though it was him that was initiating in-person contact. 

It's absolutely a sign how abnormal this is.  I wish I could tell you something to change it, because it can be very hurtful to have even common physical contact withdrawn so cruelly and needlessly.

It is one of the most bizarre things to witness. When my H is cycling towards me he will touch me - it is the most obvious sign that he is pursuing. So when he purposely doesn't touch me, he is distancing himself. My opinion is that my H is too weak to be able to touch me without him wanting it to be more and since he says that we can never be a couple again he has to keep control of his touching so he doesn't feel guilty about what he is doing. Their minds are very twisted.

[Slow Fade]

It is one of the most bizarre things to witness. When my H is cycling towards me he will touch me - it is the most obvious sign that he is pursuing. So when he purposely doesn't touch me, he is distancing himself. My opinion is that my H is too weak to be able to touch me without him wanting it to be more and since he says that we can never be a couple again he has to keep control of his touching so he doesn't feel guilty about what he is doing. Their minds are very twisted.

I see this exact thing with my H too S4A. Interesting.....

[Madmax]

Technical question:  how can I remove my original post name from my posts?  My h knows that name and if you google it, my entire thread pops up.  Thank you!

[OldPilot]

Technical question:  how can I remove my original post name from my posts?  My h knows that name and if you google it, my entire thread pops up.  Thank you!

I think I fixed them all, and they are off the site, google may take longer.
PM me if you need to