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Author Topic: MLC Monster Questions about the Affair/OM/OW III

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MLC Monster Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#20: July 03, 2011, 10:20:33 PM
This is a really good read. Thanks for sharing!
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Me: 45, Her: 40. Married 16 1/2 years, together(-ish) 20.
Status: BD 8/25/09, she moved out 8/28/10. No talk of D.

Every day is another chance to get it right.
http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html

"Counting days won't buy us years" —Wings by HAERTS
"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."  —Lily Tomlin
"When we commit to our lovers, we implicitly promise to forgive them. There is no other way we can live with someone for better or worse or until death do us part." —Dr. Frederic Luskin
S
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#21: July 03, 2011, 11:07:30 PM
If H ever breaks up with 2-bit, I might send him that!  ;)
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It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good


Nina Simone
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#22: July 03, 2011, 11:32:38 PM
Soul mates are created, NOT found. True love exists but not for the faint of heart or narcissistically challenged.

AMEN.

Thanks Buggy for posting!
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It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited.
(Lewis B. Smedes)
j
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#23: July 04, 2011, 12:00:10 AM
Appreciate you putting on here for us to read Buggy.

Is this another name for MLC? hedonistic idiots.  ::) lol

xx


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I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind.
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#24: July 04, 2011, 01:21:29 AM
Thanks for this. It says it so well. This is going straight to my lying, deceitful, cow of a wife.
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What am I supposed to say?
Where are the words to answer you
When you talk that way
What am I supposed to do?
Where are the words that will make you see
What I Believe is true?

Neil Peart, Rush - "Spindrift"
T
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#25: July 04, 2011, 01:44:41 AM
arp......

I'm truly not sure if showing them things like this gets us anywhere; I've found that it backfires.  It's like telling them they are in MLC. 

Believe me, I'd like to do it, too, but experience has shown that it gets me nowhere. 
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#26: July 04, 2011, 02:11:24 AM
T&L,

It doesn't matter anymore. My b!tc# of a wife has finally held her hands up to the affair after months of lying, deceit and betrayal and blaming me for everything. I'm divorcing her. Whether it was/is MLC or not isn't important anymore I am not standing for it any longer. Perhaps she will realise what she's done to me to herself and will be doing to the children when her fantasy world collapses around her ears.
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What am I supposed to say?
Where are the words to answer you
When you talk that way
What am I supposed to do?
Where are the words that will make you see
What I Believe is true?

Neil Peart, Rush - "Spindrift"
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#27: July 04, 2011, 02:13:51 AM
Arp and all others: PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS ARTICLE TO YOUR MLC'er!!

Don't fight, you simply cannot win. To defend your view is to engage in the power struggle. He/she might do more to proof their new love is real and no ordinairy affair.

A real relationship cannot compete with an affair. The novelty, forbidden, and surrealistic nature of an affair relationship beats a real relationship any day with its sobering demands
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It takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to be reunited.
(Lewis B. Smedes)
S
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#28: July 04, 2011, 03:11:31 AM
Hi apr1

You sound extrememly angry and bitter, something we all experience.  Please, please don't do anything right now, you are not thinking straight and you could do something you regret later.  It feels good at the time, but when you calm down you'll feel bad about it.

I don't mean to 'nag' - I know it's good to get angry, but anger can take over and it can be destorying.  Try to take a step back.

Take care,



SKxxx
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Special K xxx
j
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Re: The affair/OM/OW III
#29: July 04, 2011, 03:31:18 AM
Hi Arp,

You sound really angry and justifiably so.  They blame us and we turn ourselves inside out when all the time they were lying.

I see you are in the UK so it's Monday morning here.  Please don't do anything straight away.  I know its tempting to get right on to a solicitor and file - believe me I know.  But now is the time for the 24 hour rule, even a 7 day rule for something this big.  Nothing good comes of things done in anger.  Stay calm and breathe.

So the truth is out.  Process this and see what it means.  Doesn't it prove that all this wasn't about you?  This crisis is hers, she is running away.

Whether you want to wait for her to come out of the tunnel is for another day.  Today is for letting your anger out - come on here and vent; find an punch bag (not her!) and punch the living daylights out of it: go out into the open and scream and cry.  Whatever works for you. 

Just don't take any big steps today that you might regret.  Read the article above.  Is it really likely that her affair will last?

Come back and tell us how you are getting on.

(((Hugs)))
Jilly
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