[superdog]

I have a few theories about why this whole sex thing happens.

It may be as simple though as the fact that he has always liked that but would never dare reveal it to someone he was committed to Incase you freaked out. I mean its a bit like finding out he has been trying on your best underwear while you were out. Likelihood is your not going to say honey that looks great on you !

I also think it's to do with the sexual exploration thing just the same as when the teenagers do it. My h on a couple of occasions really creeped me out with trying to come on to me in a really schoolboy way. It was like getting hit on by a kid. I did that ewwwwwwww face and walked away fast.

I also came home to him having tied an elastic band round his emmm... Manhood to make it look bigger. Again wth!!!!

I would never bring this stuff back up to him in a million years it makes my face go red on his behalf.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Sd
X

[holdinon2hope]

Well in my case there wasn't much we couldn't talk about or try sexually as we have and always had a very great sex life.  Were not "freaks" per sue but we have done our fair share ofhandcuffs n blindfolds.  Lol.  Of course some of that went downhill as he cheated n I became more selfconsious of myself and my body. 

Maybe they're just trying us on for size..like to see if we liked what Ow may like or the "new" stuff he is learning that he likes??  Funny thing, these Mlcers heads. 

[Searching4Answers]

My H is very much in pursuit of his sexual fantasy. I have always known what he liked to look at but now he is taking it to the next level - he wants to be part of that 'scene'. He never did before because he didn't want anyone to know about the 'things' that he liked because they wouldn't understand. We would experiment earlier in our relationship, then it moved to him watching porn (huge amounts of porn), now I haven't seen him watch porn in months but he is trying to become active in that 'lifestyle' - not sure what would be the next step in this progression. I really don't think he will be happy by being active in this 'lifestyle' - I guess that is just something he is going to have to figure out on his own. I think for my H MLC is in part about growing up sexually. Or maybe the sexual part of MLC is just a big distraction for them - I think H was looking at porn as an escape.

[holdinon2hope]

I guess my H was using affairs as an escape.. he has cheated n had affairs since we have been together, n n off of course for almost 20 yrs. 

I think my H has been looking for a "mother figure" as he has always liked older women and then married a younger one  . He has chosen women that have money or are "stronger" emotionally than him like more power I suppose.  As H told me I "didn't fight hard enough for him". I think that has something to do with when he was being taken away by the cops n his mom was being held by his dad n just let him leave. 

Omg...I never put them 2 together. This One is like his "foster mom" n I'm " his mom". U let H go n Ow fought to keep him.  Well then.

Ok sorry for that..it just came out n came to me.  Hijack alert..lol. sorry

[patience.of.a.saint]

I know that mine always liked comic books with girls that had big boobs. I have his whole collection of them in my closet & I even bought him some of the ones he was missing so he could complete his collection. The zombie stuff is a little out there, but I wasn't the least bit surprised when he showed it to me. Nothing surprises me now though.

I totally hear ya on the schoolboy fantasy/exploration bit. He even asked if we could have a quickie in the backseat in a parking lot one day.  A few years ago, I mentioned it would be fun to go "park" on a gravel road just for the fun of it & he told me we were too old for that, but NOW it's ok? What's funny is that I told him I'd think about it and he was all excited that I didn't say no...and then he never brought it up again. Had I said no, he'd have pestered me all day about it.

I also agree they want to try out the new stuff they are learning with OW and see if we like it too. Mine has always been that way though. He has a whole video collection and thought we could watch & do stuff, but that just doesn't do it for me. I told him way back that I'm no porn star & I want romance, not just crazy sex. I think OW gives him the crazy sex he always wanted. To each their own I guess. That will get boring to him too, as she will eventually run out of things to show him and he's not one to come up with this stuff on his own.

[Searching4Answers]

Omg...I never put them 2 together. This One is like his "foster mom" n I'm " his mom". U let H go n Ow fought to keep him.  Well then.

I love it when this happens It happens quite a bit to me - I am just typing along getting my thoughts out and BAM I put 2 and 2 together and I understand even more.

This is one of the things that I love about this forum!

[Medusa]

I love it when this happens It happens quite a bit to me - I am just typing along getting my thoughts out and BAM I put 2 and 2 together and I understand even more.

This is one of the things that I love about this forum!

That happened to me on Madmax's thread earlier, and just reading this one I got another answer.

Last spring, H shaved his lower legs. It was bizarre since he's a fairly hairy guy, and I asked him why he did that. He claimed all the hair was getting rubbed off from his trousers. Really, H? Weird that such a thing never happened before...

I also think it's to do with the sexual exploration thing just the same as when the teenagers do it.

Yeah, it just somehow makes sense all of a sudden.

[holdinon2hope]

It is nice..but now what do I do with it??  I mean what do we do with this info we can't tell them cause there off the wall anyway.  Guess we just sit with it.  Thanks again S4A..n sorry to take ur thread over.  Gonna try n post it on mine lol

[bipolared]

Yeah, I think all the sex stuff is just a last hurrah for them-kind of like their bucket list and they need to prove their virility.  Even as my husband has been so adamant about finding true love(in a bar or on Ok Cupid ) he said once early on that he was Richie Cunningham and he had always wanted to be Fonzie.
I'm going to jump on the True Confessions bandwagon as I have been puzzled by something he said a few times and wondered if anyone had insight.  A couple times after BD he made the comment that since I was so ready and willing, maybe he should have a few friends over.  I was shocked by the disrespect obviously but also b/c he has always had a weird thing about his friends.  When we dated he was telling me that he never told his friends anything sexual about girlfriends b/c he didn't want them to want his girlfriend.  Even now as he doesn't he want me, he has said to PLEASE not hook up with his friends(Wow H, how good are your friends that you would worry about them hooking up with your wife?!)  So I found it bizarre that he would say that.  I used to wonder if he had a sex addiction or something, asked about it on here early on.
Sorry S4A!

[patience.of.a.saint]

I was just thinking about this again and it hit me...do you suppose they feel the need for all the sexual exploring because they're worried it may not work for much longer? Like they gotta try out all those fantasies before it's too late?

Mine is 39 & has always said he hit his peak at 20, but that was about when his son was born & he had to start being responsible. I can't imagine him being better at 20 than he has been in his late 30's.