Very interesting thread
Getting back to script here's some of the things I've heard:
ILYBINILWY (I called this the lit fuse on the bomb)
"I don't feel a connection with you anymore that's why I can't sleep with you."
"We've lived like roommates for years. I couldn't take it anymore." (when the roommate situation was totally his choice)
"She's just a friend. The affair is something you've made up in your head."
"I feel no passion for you anymore."
"I loved you to death until I woke up one morning and didn't love you anymore."
"I know God doesn't want us to divorce but I don't want to be married to you anymore."
"I just ran."
"I don't have a libido anymore."
"God doesn't want me to be miserable."
"I just want to run away where nobody can find me."
"I don't blame you for your infertility. I blame you for how you handled it."
"I stopped loving you because you were depressed."
"You're a stick in the mud" (although I did almost every adventurous things he ever proposed--even overcoming a phobia of motorcycles that developed after being in a motorcycle accident as a child).
"You were always threatening suicide" (never once threatened that--just stated that I wished I could die when he started threatening to leave).
"You need to learn to take care of yourself." (This was after a year being on my own and handling EVERYTHING without any of his help physically or financially...HELLO!?)
The thing about all those statements above is now he denies saying any of it...other than the fact that he fell out of love with me. This is a man who told me he loved me two weeks before he left. In our last conversation he said that he fell out of love with me, and 2 minutes later said he was answering my phone call out of "love and concern."
If you looked up "contradiction" in the dictionary "people in midlife crisis" should be one of the definitions.
Two years before BD he started shaving his pubes and asked me to do the same. I declined as I told him that women have to wax to achieve a clean result which was not a torture I was going to routinely subject myself to. I asked him why he was doing it, and he said he thought he'd try it, and when he did he liked it. He was irritated that I wouldn't join him in going "Brazilian." Naive me at the time didn't think a lot about it. He stopped having sex with me a year before he left. Just before the sex stoppage he had taken me to a romantic B&B for valentine's weekend. When BD came a few months later he told me he felt "used" when he took me to the B&B and I wanted to have sex twice! Gasp! Twice!? What a nympho I was! No wonder he had leave!
I know the sex issue became a big thing for him because he's diabetic and started having ED 5-6 years ago. In the last few years he used Viagra and hated it and resented me for it. I think masturbation and porn became his "sex life" since he didn't have to have an erection to to self-fulfill. Before he left he started telling me he could get an erection on his own. Either the "friend" resurrected him or he was lying, because I wasn't seeing any evidence of it in the months before he left...just the kleenexes in the trashcan of his bedroom that he always expected me to empty. That was the ultimate slap in the face, and I finally told him he needed to dispose of these on his own and it was insulting.
Bizzaro-land!