[in it]

It may very well be case.
Addiction is no excuse..may lower inhibition and cloud judgement. But really you can not accept violence due to it.
(There were no drugs or alcohol involved in my case.)
 

[in it]

I have a second cousin just the sweetest salt of the earth man
He and his wife(who I think the world of) have been married more than 50 years
He has Alzheimer's. Was doing quite good.He had an angry outburst and grabbed her by the throat.
She punched him in the stomach to get him to let go.
Her next move was call 911.

Was that my cousin who attacked her? No it wasn't.
Should she just put up with it ? Live with it? Maybe he won't do it again.
No she shouldn't and can't. Broke her heart to have to put him someplace someone could keep him sedated and her safe.

[in it]

Domestic Violence Is…

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, economic class, immigration status, religion, or gender. It can happen to couples that are married, living together, or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Does the Person You Love:
Threaten to hurt you or other people you care about?
Hit, kick, punch, push, choke or use physical force against you?
Criticize or blame you for everything that goes wrong?
Humiliate you in front of other people?
Control your access to money?
Control the decision-making in your relationship?
Control your time and actions?
Put you down, call you names, make you feel like you’re crazy?
Destroy your property or abuse your pets?
Threaten to hurt you or commit suicide if you leave?
Force or coerce you to have sex when you don’t want to?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.  You are not alone; many people just like you are dealing with violence at home.  You didn’t cause the violence and no one has the right to hurt you.  If you would like to talk with someone, free and confidential help is just a phone call away.

[nah]

In it, I didn't deal with physical abuse, but Thank you for your postings.

Chances are the people you are helping are too afraid to respond.

You rock!!

[Loyal]

It may very well be case.
Addiction is no excuse..may lower inhibition and cloud judgement. But really you can not accept violence due to it.
(There were no drugs or alcohol involved in my case.)

Init, please don`t get me wrong, I didn`t intend it to come over that domestic abuse is acceptable as it most certainly is NOT but wanted to point out the fact that substance abuse may very well be behind a lot of cases where the MLCer has been physically violent.

Addicts are extremely cunning and sneaky, I only found out that my MLCer had been taking cocaine for a lot longer that he had told (lied) to me as a friend of his confided in me that he had been taking it for the previous 6 or 7 years.

I learnt the hard way and the biggest mistake I`ve probably ever made in my entire life was not pressing charges against him.

[Thunder]

I agree Loyal.  You probably would press charges today, but back then you were still confused and hurting.  In shock he could do this.
As time goes on I think a lot of people who were abused see it differently.

Don't blame yourself.  You just didn't see it clearly enough back then.

Hugs

[in it]

Thanks Nah..there is some shame involved with it for the (for want of a better word) - victims. That's why some people won't say anything..they feel  in some way it was their fault or they deserved it. Sometimes they feel a need to protect who has been abusing them.

Yes Loyal if you have a case against them you really do need to press charges it's the only way they will start to understand what they did was wrong. Behavior and consequences.
Shocked and hurt is quite accurate.

I tried.  The investigator I showed the hospital report to about a week later ( I still had the bruises) just thumbed through it quickly and handed it back to me. Would not listen to me. Which is common. A trooper did run it passed the DA, he told me she said it's a " he said she said" and if she paid attention to those she would be in court all day..so there you go. So I couldn't.

Should have done it years ago the first time he was violent.

[in it]

Signs of Emotional Abuse


- Attacking your sense of self worth

- Insulting you, calling you names, criticizing you, humiliating you.

-Acting jealous or possessive, accusing you of being with other partners.

-Withholding affection or acknowledgement in order to punish you

-Cheating on you intentionally (not sure how this is against their will or an accident)

-Lying to you (another biggie)

[Loyal]

Thanks Thunder, yes I was in a state of shock for a long time, he`d been a monstering CB for several years but had never once laid a finger on me before.

Yes, InIt you`re definitely right and other than that, once they`ve been violent once it becomes a habit when they don`t have to bear any consequences. He threatened me regularly during his cocained induced psychotic phases from the time he attacked me in April 2016 until he left (ghosted me) in April 2017.

Nah, I wasn`t ashamed, actually posted what happened on HS at the time and have never felt once felt that I deserved to be abused. In my case it was  definitely codependency.

[Loyal]

Should have done it years ago the first time he was violent.

Ditto!!!