[Treasure]

Attaching

[MIMIx]

Today has been a good day.  I was finally able to sell my moms house.  It is sad to see the end of a truly happy era, but I am so relieved to not have to look after it any longer.  It has been empty for a couple of years and the love had faded away with the death of my dad and the moving of my mom to a place with greater personal care.  All good things must pass...

For all who are interested, I see my H a lot these days.  Things have been very good.  I cannot say what kind of relationship we have right now.   It feels very normal, like we are still married. Yet, he doesn't live at home. Sometimes I think it feels like a brother/ sister friendship.  Whatever it is, I can say that I feel very good ...nice and strong emotionally.  And that's what counts right now!

[MIMIx]

Holy Hannah!  I've had a rude awakening and probably needed it.

I mistakenly told my H how much hardship I have faced these past two years.  How I have  been hurting in so many ways.  THIS INFORMATION MADE HIM VIBRATE WITH HAPPINESS.  I think he has wanted me to suffer!  WOW I had no idea.  He is officially nuts.  Why would anyone hate you, be so jealous of you, that they would be happy to hear that you have suffered?

Well, I was upset...for about two minutes.  Now I think it's funny.  This seems to be the thing I have needed to push me over the edge.  And, I won't be falling either.  This has given me more resolve to improve my life for ME.  He can try to beat on my emotional doors but it just makes me feel stronger. 

No more sympathy, no more kindness.  No anger, no feelings at all.  I'm turning my back and walking in a new direction. No one needs this betrayal.

[MsT]

THIS INFORMATION MADE HIM VIBRATE WITH HAPPINESS.

Wow. That sucks. Sometimes I want to unload all my pain and sorrow and the kid's pain and sorrow on mine, but I have a feeling that either this would happen or I would get an absolute denial of responsibility and yelled at that he wouldn't have had to do this if only I had "blah blah wah wah wah."

The good thing that came out of it is your strengthened resolve to thrive, though!
(hug)

[MIMIx]

It does suck in a way MsT,  but has pretty much shown me how far away he really is right now.
IVe just GOT to put him away for a while and do my own thing.  This has become easier for me now.

I'm just really, really baffled why he continues to shoot himself in the foot with others, burn his bridges etc.  I don't think he is even aware that he is doing this.  No one tells him.  They come and tell me.  Geez

[MyBrainIsBroken]

This is what I've been thinking about today. I still don't get it. D31 doesn't want to have anything to do with my wife, GD13 who was always with her before BD has more or less dismissed her, she thinks her sisters hate her, yet there's no sign that she's questioning what she's doing.

[UKStander]

Why do the MLC-ers want to know that we've been punished?  Any ideas, anyone?

I get that they think we're the root of the problem, but you'd think that just leaving us would be enough?  Why the cat-o-nine-tails?  And the fifty lashes...? 

[MIMIx]

UKStander> perhaps misery loves company.

My H is definitely not all there.  This latest bunch of nonsense may just be the cycling in and out with no real action in the end.  He's been there before.  Time will tell.  Certainly, I am enabling his behaviour at this point.  I thought it was important in the beginning, to build trust back up (and still do) but now he is just taking advantage of me.     

I'm putting him on ignore. I'm very able to do this.  Put him away for a while and look out for myself.  Life is a bit lonely but I'm doing well.

[1Cor.13]

Why do the MLC-ers want to know that we've been punished?  Any ideas, anyone?

I get that they think we're the root of the problem, but you'd think that just leaving us would be enough?  Why the cat-o-nine-tails?  And the fifty lashes...? 

---------------------------------------------------------
I have wondered this myself, my walk-away husband of 20 years left me and our daughter almost 4 years ago. He rarely sees our D18, he walked out with his younger OW in tow when D was just 14..he has still to this day done nothing but berate me. I have raised our D alone for the last 4 years while he parties with young strippers with tattoos, and puts it on Facebook!! I believe from what I have read, it's a combination of them projecting their own self-loathing onto us, combined with them being in a crisis that they do not know any way out of (often due to unresolved family of origin issues). Surely it must be an ugly, sad place to be.

[MIMIx]

I was told to expect the unexpected and now I see why.  He's  turned so smug and defiant toward me, so judgemental, so awkward. He is a mystery man. 

  I actually thought he would improve by year 2.   Do they get worse with time...especially around this 2 year mark?   I wonder if he is blaming me for his present fed up, unhappy feelings? I know that I feel this way.  He wants his way and he wants it now.

So what comes next? Let the fun begin.