[Thunder]

When I was on a dating site I just read their bio/profile, usually all you need to know is right there.  Never had to ask. 

[Dji76]

Ok, Ill put this out there... I am no longer standing and initiated my divorce. I have a date next week and wonder if any of the guys (or ladies) want to weigh in with some advice. I'm specifically interested how to use some of the "strategies" discussed earlier to move from a fun, flirting relationship to something more intimate. Now I recognize this is a community for people standing for their marriages so if this topic is not appropriate I'll drop it. What I really want to do is put some of the tools Elray and others have touched on into practice. Again, I don't want to offend anyone here so we don't have to pursue this topic. That said I'm happy to report back and be the guinea pig of the man cave lol.

[OldPilot]

Ok, Ill put this out there... I am no longer standing and initiated my divorce. I have a date next week and wonder if any of the guys (or ladies) want to weigh in with some advice. I'm specifically interested how to use some of the "strategies" discussed earlier to move from a fun, flirting relationship to something more intimate. Now I recognize this is a community for people standing for their marriages so if this topic is not appropriate I'll drop it. What I really want to do is put some of the tools Elray and others have touched on into practice. Again, I don't want to offend anyone here so we don't have to pursue this topic. That said I'm happy to report back and be the guinea pig of the man cave lol.

MHO is dont employ any strategies or anything else that is relationship oriented until you are divorced.
Odds are that it will be a rebound relationship as it is, and you will not be thinking rationally.


My .02

[Braveheart]

Ok, Ill put this out there... I am no longer standing and initiated my divorce. I have a date next week and wonder if any of the guys (or ladies) want to weigh in with some advice. I'm specifically interested how to use some of the "strategies" discussed earlier to move from a fun, flirting relationship to something more intimate. Now I recognize this is a community for people standing for their marriages so if this topic is not appropriate I'll drop it. What I really want to do is put some of the tools Elray and others have touched on into practice. Again, I don't want to offend anyone here so we don't have to pursue this topic. That said I'm happy to report back and be the guinea pig of the man cave lol.

MHO is dont employ any strategies or anything else that is relationship oriented until you are divorced.
Odds are that it will be a rebound relationship as it is, and you will not be thinking rationally.


My .02

Depends on how long they've been standing, if the self work has been done and it's been a couple years I can't see the issue. There is always going to be a first relationship and they normally are of short duration.

[Thundarr]

I'm laughing as I'm thinking that not one male LBS here would kick Cindy Crawford or Christie Brinkley out of bed!  I can also think of several 40 and 50-somethings who I would definitely be interested in physically and mentally if I chose to go the dating route.  No interest whatsoever in twenty-somethings, and in many ways women tend to get better with age as they lose the inhibitions that held them back before (non-MLC women I'm referring to here).

[Dji76]

Gotcha... I'm not looking for a second wife or LTR. I'm not interested in placing my emotional needs onto someone while I still have "work" to do. I also don't think that means I should sit in my house or live in the gym when there is someone I'm interested in casually dating that seems interested and knows my situation. This is probably not the right place for this discussion though.

[Mad Hatter]

Gotcha... I'm not looking for a second wife or LTR. I'm not interested in placing my emotional needs onto someone while I still have "work" to do. I also don't think that means I should sit in my house or live in the gym when there is someone I'm interested in casually dating that seems interested and knows my situation. This is probably not the right place for this discussion though.

Heck with it; this is the MAN CAVE! So I am reading between the lines and basically, you just want to date (casually) and have a little fun. So, might as well cut right to the chase:

The Don Juan Bible - http://www.mts.net/~bpony/djbible/
SoSuave - http://www.sosuave.com/

Knock yourself out and tell us how it goes!


EDIT: The forums there can be a little "rough"; forewarned!

[Dji76]

You read correctly Madd... I'll report back next Friday.

[bookwrmmom]

I have to say that I think there are just as many LBS women here that HAVE done the work, and are attractive/fit/mentally stable. So I guess it is a little shocking to me to think that a man my age (45) wouldn't be interested in me because of the "potential" for a MLC/peri menopause.
I have worked damn hard to heal myself and do the work. I have gone to IC, sought support here, and from friends/family. I know my worth, and frankly I think I have a hell of a lot more to offer then a young person who hasn't even experienced life. Am I perfect? Hell no, I have given birth to two children & not had plastic surgery. However I also look at other ladies and friends my age, and I am doing pretty good health wise. I am friends on FB with a couple of the men here, and I haven't scared the hell outta them 
So all I can say boys is this: have fun with those 20 somethings, maybe you will get lucky and she won't have a MLC in your lifetime. However I think the odds of her having one are a hell of a lot higher then me having one. If I haven't gone bat$$h!te crazy after all my H has done to me.......I am thinking it ain't gonna happen. Plus I have always been a firm believer in "fixing" what ails me.

[Dji76]

"So all I can say boys is this: have fun with those 20 somethings, maybe you will get lucky and she won't have a MLC in your lifetime" - Bookwormmom

Thats the thing... I'm not certain that all the men here are really looking for a second wife or LTR. I've learned I don't need a woman in my life to meet emotional needs all the time. I don't want to speak for all the guys but my wifes crisis has opened my eyes to the role I want an intimate relationship to play in my life. I have young kids and don't intend to introduce them to any women I date. They get my 110% attention when I have them, which is about 2/3 of the time. So if I have my emotional needs met from friends and family, if I am honest with the women I see about my intentions, why do you have a problem with men wanting to date younger women? I'm not looking for the next "one" because there is no "one". No offense but your use of the word "boys" comes across as judgmental and bitter. I would never address ANY of the wonderful women here (or anywhere) as "girls" based on any comments you make or your dating preferences.