[hawk]

Hawk, maybe you just need to do like my ex does and ask if she's still with her "fella". Lol I always chuckle because that's all he's ever called him, even though he knows his name.

Nope , can't do it Patience , l do not wanna be on that kind of level with somebody l was with for 20 yrs of my life that's done this .
Ah , l just can't help but be dying to know just what become of the ass/h and wild love affair that was strong enough to destroy a family over tbh, that's all . lt's almost a bit of fun.

What do you mean , who's fella , yours , have you got a bf ?

[patience.of.a.saint]

Oh hell no! I'm talking about what exH calls my MLCer. lol

[Searching4Answers]

I don't get why they would ever want to be with someone so controlling. Mine is with a complete control freak, from what I am told. I'd have been called out on half the stuff she does.

Is it some sort of turn on to have a dominant woman?

The other day when my MLCer came to pick up a load of his stuff, he got here at 9:30 and by 11:30, she was calling and asking if he was done yet and what he was doing now.

He had to come Mon-Thurs, so he had to use a personal day to do it too. He rarely took personal days for me...always had to work.

It's all so mind boggling.

I think that the control part of it fuels the drama so they are getting high off of it. I was never controlling - maybe that is why he need to find an OW The things that I have seen OW write to H are shocking to me. I would never have said the things that she has to him - H would definitely call me out on it but I starting think that 'words' don't mean much to H anymore.

The things and places that H will go with OW boggles my mind - he would never have done them with me even if I had asked him to That is one of the areas that I still struggle with - why does he do all those things with OW but he wouldn't with me?

[patience.of.a.saint]

The things and places that H will go with OW boggles my mind - he would never have done them with me even if I had asked him to That is one of the areas that I still struggle with - why does he do all those things with OW but he wouldn't with me?

I wonder the same thing, but the only explanation I have come up with is that he is a different person now. Mine told me right after BD that the old him was dead and this one is the one he is now.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Searching, mine is the same way. Would never have done half the stuff he's doing now. He's a completely different person. I don't even know if there's an OW, but a this point, I've decided to move on. I have too much to do, and my girls and I have to get on with our lives. Will I take him back if he gets through this and wants to come back? Short answer: Hell no. Too much damage, and too many bad years behind us.

I really want to have a drama-free life. Never really had that with him. Always had a reason to blame me for something, not take personal responsibility for his own crap, and got off on fighting. I could tell that he got a rush whenever he did something particularly nasty to me. Crazy-making was something that he turned into an art form. Don't see myself ever going back to that circus anymore. Not my circus, not my monkeys. And, as I've told him numerous times since this started: you are no longer my problem. Crazy abandonment issues, and never seemed comfortable in his own skin. Did his best to invalidate me at every chance he had.

The tit for tat got old, and so did me being the problem. Won't be there for that anymore, and I feel for my OD. She and MIL will get the brunt of it now. I'm assuming that there is an OW, she can have him. Once the fairy tail is over, she'll see that she didn't get a prince, but a toad. More power to her.

Working on me now. Loving the opportunity to get to do things for myself that I've never been able to do before. H was so damned needy it was exhausting. Had to be the center of attention, and God forbid anything didn't go his way. He's going to have to grow up for us to even be friends at this point. He'd also have to go through extensive therapy to even consider the remote, and I mean almost impossibility of coming back "home".

[nah]

The things and places that H will go with OW boggles my mind - he would never have done them with me even if I had asked him to That is one of the areas that I still struggle with - why does he do all those things with OW but he wouldn't with me?

I wonder the same thing, but the only explanation I have come up with is that he is a different person now. Mine told me right after BD that the old him was dead and this one is the one he is now.
[/quote]

Actually, it's not strange at all.  If MLC is real and it's connected to being depressed that is exactly why they are all behaving different and attaching themselves to a controlling piece of sh!t.  In a rare conversation we had a few months post BD, he said that the girl was like him, that she didn't like people.  First of all, since when did he not like people, and second, wow, that sounds like a fun person to be around.

I guess it's true what they say, misery loves company. 

[patience.of.a.saint]

Mine said OW was a female version of him. I don't get why anyone would want to date a version of themselves. If a guy was exactly like me, we'd both go nuts.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Mine said OW was a female version of him. I don't get why anyone would want to date a version of themselves. If a guy was exactly like me, we'd both go nuts.

Crazy

[patience.of.a.saint]

Mine said OW was a female version of him. I don't get why anyone would want to date a version of themselves. If a guy was exactly like me, we'd both go nuts.

Crazy

I KNOW!! And I was just thinking about this: he always said I was the brains behind our operation...and he's the brawn.

I can only deduce from this that there are NO BRAINS in their operation.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Mine said OW was a female version of him. I don't get why anyone would want to date a version of themselves. If a guy was exactly like me, we'd both go nuts.

Crazy

I KNOW!! And I was just thinking about this: he always said I was the brains behind our operation...and he's the brawn.

I can only deduce from this that there are NO BRAINS in their operation.

I love it! Best laugh I've had in months.