[patience.of.a.saint]

Having a hard time today. Anyone have any idea the reason for the difference between the ones that admit that they are leaving for OW and the ones who deny her completely no matter whether you disclose factual information or not. Mine is the latter. Wouldn't admit leaving for her or that there was even a relationship. And still won't admit he is living with her or even in a relationship now.

Mine acted dumb & denied everything when I found out about the OW. I told him after that that I did not want to even know she exists if he was planning to come here.  He did not tell me when he moved in with her...but when I did find out & ask, he said he thought I knew. Apparently, I have magical mind reading powers I did not know about.

[Searching4Answers]

Attaching because this subject intrigues me.  Mine still denies his OW is anything other than "a friend" after three years.

SC....my W is doing/does the same thing.  She even told me that she knows their R is and will go nowhere.  She still professes her love for me, yet is deep in the tunnel and stays with him when I have our son.   

I think that they really see them as friends - my H does and says the same things. He won't commit to her - she is a 'friend' with benefits.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Mine told me he'd never marry OW.

He also said he'd never live with her either, and here they are...living together in the funeral home, with a garage he won't park his MLC truck close to because a good push might bring the building down.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

My wife didn't change her mailing her mailing address until 6 months after BD when I was served with divorce papers and told her not to contact me. I just received a copy of her tax forms and her mail goes to a PO box now instead of going to the om's house where she lives. She still often refers to him as her friend to D34 and hasn't mentioned him to me since BD.

[blackice]

mine told me and I still hear every last detail of all their drama. I learned today he's having trouble keeping it up. as in he cant at all. he found out about her little porn addiction and since then he can't have sex. makes me laugh. he says it's not him cause if he thinks about me he has no issue just when he's with her. nice to know right. good thing I don't care. all I do us sit back and laugh and tell him well what did you expect.

[UKStander]

i know what you mean pofas  i would love to see ow face if i sent her ALL the things my h sent me and told me how he wishes he had never met her, funny thing is he still with her so his loss

i dont understand that bit still how can you just stay somewhere when you tell your son your not happy and tell your wife too but stay with the thing that you blew your family apart for 

I agree with wanting to see OW face when confronted with the TRUTH in black and white. I have emails from my H telling me, 'Even if I were to get together with someone else, it wouldn't be X (that's her).'  'There are things about X I don't like.'  'I liked her then....'  (In other words, I don't now - and this was only 6 months after their r'ship started.)

He's never denied her, but it took him a long, long time to come out and say to S15, 'I'm seeing someone...'   Then he told me 'She's not moving into my flat.'  Well, it's true, she didn't. But he moved in with her 3 years later! 

I have no idea whether he thinks of her in some strange compartment of 'friendship', or not.  I don't think he knows!  I just figure, if he was sure of her, he'd be D'd by now, wouldn't he???   The only constantly strange thing is that when I suggest he has company , ie someone to be with (eg at Christmas, Easter) he claims that is TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. 

Mystifying.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

The McFling (OW) that my husband got involved with has a long history of wackadoo wrapped up in a bit of phycho . My husband told her on 2 ocassions " I have to figure out a way to go home and fix my marriage " . She ignored these statements and continue to sleep with him etc .( But then again , so did he ).They saw me in a resturant . Apparrently she said "oh my god, you still love your wife " based on your reaction. He nodded and became emotional ( likely sh&tty pants hoping I do not see him )Still, she pursued him. WTF? What is truly wrong with these women ? Who would do that???

They pick desperate OP's. Remember the H's want to be the knight in shining armor, so they pick whack jobs that make them feel like they're saving them. The W's pick men that will save them too, because of the damsel in distress drama they live.

They're all crazy, so of course they end up with crazies. I expect mine to remarry fast, because he doesn't want to be alone, and get her pregnant to seal the deal. Then once the deed is done, she'll show she's a nut and he'll be stuck. He loves the drama of fighting, and trying to be in control. He'll pick ( if he hasn't already ) some controlling b**** that will make his life miserable, and he'll do everything he can to save face. She'll play the damsel part at first, then she'll show her manipulative side. His mother's like that, the "sweet little of lady" that's manipulative as hell.

[patience.of.a.saint]

I don't get why they would ever want to be with someone so controlling. Mine is with a complete control freak, from what I am told. I'd have been called out on half the stuff she does.

Is it some sort of turn on to have a dominant woman?

The other day when my MLCer came to pick up a load of his stuff, he got here at 9:30 and by 11:30, she was calling and asking if he was done yet and what he was doing now.

He had to come Mon-Thurs, so he had to use a personal day to do it too. He rarely took personal days for me...always had to work.

It's all so mind boggling.

[hawk]

Tell you what , l am really relating to the stuff coming through here and it could explain whatever the hell my ex has going on with her om.

When she bd'd , she was at an emotional low l had never seen her even close to before - om was supposedly very gentle and well , caring . Apparently not for a married women in a mess and her destroying her daughters family and her marriage but , very caring .
And now , over 2 yrs , l can not make out for the life of me , just what they do have if anything. But friends or something casual would fit , it's the only thing that does fit.
l know she doesn't see him through the wk , where as at the start she use to see him every day.
l can't even tell if she even see's him on the wkends or if it's just friends she hangs out with now and then but he works all day Sunday till late .
Yet now and then , it's as if he has just popped up type of thing , as if they do some stuff and then it's like there's nothing again.

Nothings been adding up but this friends thing , maybe occasional fwb thing or something like that does fit.
But , then again , l've never seen w creepy before either but just before and since bd , she can be creepy and for all l know they might be full on and she's turning around and telling me she's engaged .

[patience.of.a.saint]

Hawk, maybe you just need to do like my ex does and ask if she's still with her "fella". Lol I always chuckle because that's all he's ever called him, even though he knows his name.