[OldPilot]

Well at least your IC knew what he was talking about.

Conway got the term(replay) from someone else but I don't remember where.
I would need to look in the book again and I don't have it.

[Rollercoasterider]

RCR can't you just talk to the author who originated the term replay and ask for permission to use it?

I don't think I need permission to use it and I have no probelm using it, but it is nice to have your own terms sometimes. I felt I needed to change Conways' terms for the other stages because they are emotions and behaviours that are not limited to those stages and thus can be confusing.

I think the term "Replay" is from Jim Conway.  I do not know if he got it from somewhere else.

Conway got the term(replay) from someone else but I don't remember where.

Conway uses Elisabeth Kubler Ross's stages of grief and changed the term Bargaining to Replay and added Withdrawal because MLCers were not dying. I believe Replay was his term.

I have always like the term Replay, but will consider saying Replay: Escape & Avoidance as a header or section title and then expand upon the low vs. high energy, but maintain the term Replay as the universal label.

   

[OldPilot]

RCR,

I did finish reading most of your threads. Not every single post though.
As far as I can figure out you had three main threads.
Shadows in Indigo 9/1/06-10/7/06
Standing for Sweetheart 10/11/06-12/09/06
Suggestion Box 3/4/08

After reading Standing for sweetheart I understand more of what was going on in Suggestion Box.
I think some of these mentors owe you an apology. But that is JMHO.

I was trying to find some of your reconcilliation parts but that either is not there or is going to take a lot more work on my part to find.
I think at the end of standing for sweetheart, he has left and come back 6 times.
You were giving him a 6 month timetable before he could move back again.

In any event thanks for letting me post that stuff here, it is all very educational.

[Rollercoasterider]

Well, as you can tell from the discord on the suggestion box thread, things were not going so well on the board by then.

Most posters liked me well enough, but the company...they aren't fans! I actually had about 15 threads of for my own story--suggestion box was exactly what it says and thus not for my story. The forum deleted my personal threads--fortunately I saved them--except the last one which had little on it. My posts can be found in those few story threads, but many more are on threads where I posted to others.

I had a thread of my own where I posted infrequently form July 2007 but I tried to refrain from discussing my situation in any detail anymore. As you've seen from the threads, there was one particular poster who was an antagonist and I stopped discussing my situation due to that poster. I was also wary about posting that I was in reconciliation since I knew that Sweetheart's being home did not mean he was through and that we were thus at that stage...and he did leave two more times after that.

After Standing for Sweetheart I started a thread that I closed within a month because I then let Sweetheart come home. And at that time it was the right decision. I had one of the most profound and powerful Knowings that lasted a few days--it was a feeling of such bliss. Many will think letting him move home was the wrong decision since it turned out he continued to see the alienator and I kicked him out about 14 months later. But it was. We still progressed forward together during that time and I was able to Pave the Way.

As for menots owing me an apology...just hearing it from someone feels validating--thank you. No one knew it back then, but I discussed starting that thread with the forum organization first. It was my idea but I was not going to do it without approval. The complainers on the thread had no idea that the organization had unofficially given approval--through a phone call. I am certain that person would deny it today since it was she who betrayed me within a few weeks. Oh well.

I was not doing what they accused me of doing...but I am now! I've got this forum and the website, but those did not exist in any form until after I left the board. The website content was mere notes within my threads that I later revised and expanded.

As for the 6 month timetable...it was 6 months to the day! So I stuck to it, but it was the Knowing that let me know it was okay to let him come home.

[Storm Rider]

RCR,

Do you have any policies for your site regarding cross referencing posts or posters of other forums? Would you prefer names not to mentioned etc? It would just make it easier if we all understood your views on this, especially as some of us post on other forums from time to time.

[OldPilot]

SR

Now your asking really tough questions.......

[Storm Rider]

I know!

I think every body would like to do the right thing, but just understanding what that might be kinda helps....

[Rollercoasterider]

RCR,

Do you have any policies for your site regarding cross referencing posts or posters of other forums? Would you prefer names not to mentioned etc? It would just make it easier if we all understood your views on this, especially as some of us post on other forums from time to time.

I haveno official policy regarding external links. I want the people here to have access to any beneficial resource.

But while the site is still in its infancy I do not think that links referencing threads on other boards are the best idea...yet.

As for pasting, I don't think there is anything against it, but consider whether you are pasting something that is another person's personal property--copyrighted material--and whether you should ask permission or not. For instance, I contacted HeartsBlessing and asked her for permission to use her version of the Six Stages of MLC on this site.

Those were postings on another forum and not on a website of her own creation or a site where she was a contributing writer with the idea that it was copyrighted material, but I too wrote on that forum and it was where I started writing what later became more formal articles...so be careful and consider whether you should contact an author or poster first.

As for names...usernames should be fine since they are what posters use on those forums. My links page does provide links to a few of the other forums. And yes, one is missing. That is in part because of their policy against external links.

[Storm Rider]

Thanks for the clarification !

[OldPilot]

RCR,

Since this seems to be your thread now.
I asked a question on another thread but maybe you didn't see it.
At the beginning of this thread you have replay split into two groups high energy/low energy.
Now you also have different types of MLC'ers Boomerang, Vanisher and more than likely others which names escape me right now
(middle aged guy thing I can't remember anything)
Could you briefly give us all the names and I assume they fall under the high energy/low energy types.
AM I safe to assume that statement?

Thanks for all you do.