[Airmid]

Sadly, I have heard just about all of these too.
So I think in a way it reassures us all that this is their crazy journey - not ours.

[hawk]

Haven't heard that many thank God .
But some of mine were mlc script from what l can tell but some were also legit things that had been going on with us.

lt was about 50/50 really and so has how she has been since we split.
About 50mlc type stuff and about 50 sort of normal for a couple that have split up after so long.

So tbh , to this day l am still not sure if mine is actually mlcing ,or if she legitimately just felt we should split up .
We are divorced now , which she pushed from about 16mths onward.
2 an 1/2 yr now and she still seems to be going on her way with life and me not in it .
So there are a lot of things that just seem like the hard path splitting up would just be anyway and what you would expect just goes with breaking up a marriage and with kids involved  .

Maybe she was just tired and depressed, disheartened and felt like she just couldn't go on any longer .
Maybe it was all just as simple as l want outa this and nothing to do with mlc.
l mean there's a lot of unhappy married people out there that one day just decide they want out.

How do you tell the difference ?

[huntergirl]

It may appear I am handling things well, but inside I hurt terribly. I just know I have to make myself a priority right now if I am to survive this. It seems now that I have gone dark, do has he. This makes me think he is happier without me and feels he made the right decision. I'm sure he is hoping he never heard from me again and can just quietly slither away. I'm getting worried because his financial responsibilities are a couple days away and I don't know if he plans on paying them. I don't want to contact him at all, but if he doesn't contact me about the finances  going to have to do it. This will make me feel like a failure at being dark..

[Thunder]

hawk,

I thought the same thing UNTIL I heard him rewrite history.  I was shocked!  He actually revered to things that didn't even happen.  That's what convinced me.  It was very strange.

I guess maybe look at the things she is saying, or said about wanting a D.  Were they true?  Did her reason change.
My X had a different reason every few months.  Completely different, like he forgot the original reason.

[terrified_in_TN]

I agree Hawk...How DO you tell the difference?  Although I heard a lot of those on the list.  I have stated these before in my own thread, but here are a few more:

(About our separation) "Maybe it will help me appreciate what I have."
"If we should end up divorced, we should get remarried someday for a 'fresh start'"
"If we should both end up remarried, we should have an affair with each other." 

-T

[living with Hope]

Wow, are we married to the same person?  I swear I heard almost exactly the same lines.
 
It really shows how script this all is.  (shaking my head).

It too brought me back to it all.  I can't believe looking back how I survived all that confusion and pain with statements like that and the actions that went with it. 

Stay strong and realize that if we all have heard the same if not similar statements that there is more to them just wanting a divorce.  There is something bigger at play than the marriage. 

[Mara]

Yes I recognize a whole lot of these.
Thanks for writing this down!
Still wondering how rational men (my H was one) can change towards so unlogical in the first place.

[TopsyTurvy]

Fully understand the inside hurt.  We put masks on to protect ourselves, we can do this etc, give ourselves a little strength, there's only so much pain we can take before tipping over the edge.

I think the mlcer forces us to break NC by the very thing you are concerned about. Its a subconscious game.

From your list on the other thread, they don't think rationally at all and change their minds frequently.  You have to sort the finances for you.  Use NC for your benefit.

You are not a failure, this is unknown territory and you do the best you can. 

[cat1959]

Wow! What a list! At least he expresses himself.

[cat1959]

After huntergirl made her list, I decided to make one too since mine is different.

I thought you didn't like me anymore.
I needed a soft place to land.
I gave up on our marriage too soon..
I think about you all the time.
I cannot see us not getting back together.
Happy anniversary!
I treasure our memories together.
We were badass together.
I'm glad you came into my life.
The fat lady didn't sing yet.

Yet he is still with OW and has not made any physical efforts to reconnect.
Is it any wonder I'm having trouble detaching?