[OldPilot]

I really don't know what mine is?
Sometimes he contacts me every 2 days and sometimes every4 days. He says its cause he wants to c the kids but we always end up talking about us. Last time we spent 46 mins on the phone talking about our relationship. He always insists that he was with me only for the kids and that he was 'trying'. I moved to my new place 3 weeks ago and he only came once to c the kids. I really don't know, any help pls   

Sounds like for the moment he is clinging

Does anyone know how long it take to settle into a contact "type" after the MLCer moves out of the home? I have read that they can change from one contact type to the other. Not sure if this usually happens after they move out or not. 

I think there is no set time limit on anything in MLC other than it takes a LONG time.

Usually you can see things looking backwards after some time has gone by.

That is why journalling here about yourself and your spouse is good for looking backwards and seeing changes.

[Beautiful Heart]

Thank you OP, I agree, I do need to journal more  Thanks again for the advice.

BH

[knowledgeispower]

My H is definitely a CB.  He moved out just over two months ago.  We have almost daily contact.  He comes by to do yard work or for any other reason that he can think of. He comes when he needs to see our children (which are adults)  He took most of his clothes when he left but did leave about 1/4.  He has tools in the garage that he needs for work. He has not changed his mailing address. So he has many reasons to come.

We go on frequent outings (dates??) and family outings as well.  We text each other daily and he does tell me that he loves me often (I no longer know what that means though).  He came by this morning on his way to work to give me a hug.  He said he still can't get focused to get much work done.  I told him to pray.  My oldest daughter asked me if I had become the OW?  I really didn't know how to respond.  Interesting.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Not sure if we have this listed here somewhere, but I think it would be helpful to have a list of the threads with clingers. I have one and dealing with him is different than a regular MLCer, so I'd like to read about the other clingers for ideas...and peace of mind. Lol

[grace2713]

Hello! I have a clinger - visits home 2-3 hours everyday for the kids, at home whole Saturdays. Invites me out every once in a while, texts.  Also a cake-eater.  He puts us to sleep every once in a while, I can hear him sobbing.  He told me he is dying of loneliness every night, then within the same convo tells me he enjoys his alone time.  When I distance myself, he pursues.  But when he gets his way, it's as if he's won some kind of competition.

[Searching4Answers]

Clingers are definitely a different breed. I am still living with my H 2 years after BD he won't leave - actually he doesn't think there is any issue with us still living together. This situation will be changing soon but only because I am not accepting any more.

Another clinger thread is superdog's. Her H has not left either - 4 years now I think. Songandance has/had a clinger too - I think he recently moved out after 2 years. There are more, I just can't remember everyone's situation.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Mine moved out and is living with the OW now, but for the first 8 mo after BD, he stayed here every other weekend. Once they moved into the funeral home they live in, he has only stayed here a couple times, but needs to visit usually once a month. When he does, he seems like he doesn't want to leave. He texts me a good morning every day, except Sunday. lol

I thought he was drifting away after Thanksgiving, but then he gave us all gifts for Christmas and his attention to me has been building since then. He was going to stay the night last Friday, but the OW caught him lying to her so now he's having his phone monitored by his new mommy...except that I told him how to delete individual texts so now he has resumed his normal texting with me...and ramped it up a bit more.

Will look your threads up. Thanks!

[i can and will cope]

i had a clinger he live at home for 18 months(BD Jan 2012) moved out stayed in hotels then ow moved up here he still clinged for the whole year he moved out then vanished bit reappeard then disappeared again for 6 weeks in new year this year , he is still keeping in touch i am stronger ow tha i was had car accident ad he got in touch , i didt tell him son tweeted something , he rang first time had spoken to hi since new year , then he emailed the other night becuase i hadnt been in touch to let him know how i was ??
he sent me a text yesterday to tell me he had sent me an emailthe day before but becuase i hadnt answered (remebering the rule of three s and  d )  to see how i was so i just answered and said i was ok and son was having physio very nice to just matter of fact , we still not divorced but have had decree nisi since 2012 , he doest push aything.
very hard with some big touch ad goes ad some small ones otoo , wish could post more but my brain not working lol x

[Absolutely Fabulous]

My clinger hasn't lived with me for a year. H is still texting the kids ( used to send me a text daily ), now emailing me daily. He refuses to work with my lawyer, says he wants a divorce, but seems to be all talk.

I've initiated NC, and he ignores it. Tells me all the time that we don't have to work with lawyers, and should be able to do arbitration/mediation.  When I agree he panics and then changes his mind about what he wants. H still tries to get me to make all the major decisions, and then fights me on all of them. CC has been for him to monster spew at me.

My kids have now initiated NC, and he's tried everything he can to get him to contact him. It's driving him nuts apparently. My OD lives with him, and he's resorted to getting her to try to get her sisters to talk to him. He's written guilt ridden emails to both me and my younger girls. If I even say, "yes" to a question, he starts the whole CC clinging.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

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