[Anjae]

Here, existing thread about Boomerangs.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1536.0 - Boomerang

There are also RCR articles on the main site, a link to the articles can be found in my signature.

A clinger and a clingy boomerang are a little different. The first type is always on the LBS face, they probably come by the house everyday, contact several times a day, etc. A clingy boomerand has phases of being super super clingy and phases of being more datache, hence the boomerang.

[patience.of.a.saint]

Here, existing thread about Boomerangs.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1536.0 - Boomerang

There are also RCR articles on the main site, a link to the articles can be found in my signature.

A clinger and a clingy boomerang are a little different. The first type is always on the LBS face, they probably come by the house everyday, contact several times a day, etc. A clingy boomerand has phases of being super super clingy and phases of being more datache, hence the boomerang.

Thanks for the link. I did not know there was a difference, but I definitely have the boomerang variety. He texts every day, but not always the same type of texts...and he visits on sort of a cycle.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Mine is definitely a BC. It comes in cycles, more like waves. Sometimes they over lap, other times I get a reprieve. But, not for long. H is cycling faster these days because of NC. It's been easy to enforce since he doesn't live here. It doesn't stop him from trying, but it definitely has given me more control. Not looking at texts, emails, or taking calls has helped my peace of mind.

[patience.of.a.saint]

I am thankful to not have much in the line of day to day drama. His cycles are longer...and I think he has two different ones.

One is this high energy, need to text about sex for a week, followed by 4 or 5 weeks of being more subdued. He'll be nice, just not so much texting and he won't say anything at all about sex those weeks. It's kind of weird.

His other cycle is when he comes to see me...he'll be chatty & fun for a week before, come visit & that will be really nice...and then I barely hear from him for the next two weeks. Rinse and repeat.

What makes it confusing is that these two cycles overlap. One is about 6-7 weeks long and the other is more like 3-4 weeks. I haven't figured out why he has two cycles...but he does.

[Songanddance]

Songandance has/had a clinger too - I think he recently moved out after 2 years. There are more, I just can't remember everyone's situation.

Mine is definitely a clinger and has been since BD. Clingers show that they "need" the anchor perhaps more than most and this is why it is important to GAL as quickly as possible and as effectively as possible so that they see that you are able to function quite happily without them. 
Sometime it is very difficult to detach especially if you choose believe that because he is a clinger he will change his mind and want back in.
The clinger keeps you dangling for as long as you let him. The clinger still believes that he is entitled to "his life" and that the LBS has to tolerate what he does because he "doesn't want to hurt anybody"
I sometimes think that the clinger is also more Naive than the leaver. They honestly believe that they can have the best of both worlds. They have to keep connected because of the children, the pets, the bills the house, the goldfish  but NOT the spouse!
Clingers are exhausting because they never give you a break and a chance to detach. Your feet become hardened to all the eggshells you keep walking on.  The LBS becomes too wound up in noticing the teeniest of details and spends a lot of wasted energy thinking carefully about every word and nuance in the conversations.
The clinger is devious and pathetic at the same time. The clinger knows how to manipulate and because you get very few chances to detach the clinger knows how to continue to push your buttons and ironically keep you clinging to him!

[Stacia]

Thank you, songanddance! I so needed to hear that again. It feels pathetic that I can still momentarily get sucked into the "see, I knew he loved me and wants me back" feeling! It is completely draining and frankly, a little humiliating.
Back to my mantra....Detach, GAL, detach, GAL, detach...

[patience.of.a.saint]

Thank you, Songanddance. I too needed to hear that after today. I think mine is naughty texting at work to make his day more tolerable. He's hated his job since I've known him and is STILL there. Of course, now he has OW working with him, but apparently she doesn't do anything to help his day go better. He used to listen to an mp3 player, but broke that. So now he's texting me instead.  it started off amusing, but, sometimes it goes creepy or weird. He backs off, but an hour later, he's back at it again.

[hawk]

Hmm, l see the points and that must be hell. l've only really lived the one type of deal , mine unfortunately .
l do see quite a bit of her side though and l sometimes see traces around the house of om , when l come and go for my d and yep , it does fkg hurt like all hell so l could just imagine .

There's no easy way is there, no good, just pain and sh@t in whatever we do in this garbage.
l'm so thankful to have finally made it to somewhere else these days , though l'm not sure where the hell that is anyway but it's a lot better than before .

[hawk]

I am thankful to not have much in the line of day to day drama. His cycles are longer...and I think he has two different ones.

One is this high energy, need to text about sex for a week, followed by 4 or 5 weeks of being more subdued. He'll be nice, just not so much texting and he won't say anything at all about sex those weeks. It's kind of weird.

His other cycle is when he comes to see me...he'll be chatty & fun for a week before, come visit & that will be really nice...and then I barely hear from him for the next two weeks. Rinse and repeat.

What makes it confusing is that these two cycles overlap. One is about 6-7 weeks long and the other is more like 3-4 weeks. I haven't figured out why he has two cycles...but he does.

l don't know if you call them cycles or wth but mine can change 3 times in one day , or wk , mth .
The longest run of one thing l've seen in her is remember patience , a mth or two back , hell l don't even know anymore but anyway , she was nice for about 6wks .
kiss that good bye though since , back to 3 in one day but , such is life or in this case W l spose  . Doesn't effect me much anymore .
Though sometimes when she flicks back to nice again , l do feel like saying well fk you , just bc you feel like being nice again , l for one couldn't give a sh@t you know. Give her a taste of her own medicine.

Anyone tried that ?

[Songanddance]

Anyone tried that ?

And does it make you feel better or bitter? 

Meeting the MLCer on their own grounds is only going to keep any LBS stuck.  Detach, GAL, apply the rule of 3 , step back, observe and grow!