[stayed]

lol, silly me... never even thought of that... thought other sites were now employing the firetruck substitute ... hehee... ok, I'm going in... with the proper url...

Got it... lol ... hugs Stayed

[stayed]

firetruck YEA... that was a great article... and so firetrucking true!

Hugs Stayed

[twiceburnt]

Even as a stander, I think everyone needs to read and live this... 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201506/when-the-person-you-love-doesnt-love-you

The person who is right for you is NOT your MLCer.  That MLCer may become the right person, but until they do, this article is spot on...  Love and light, ll

If you were already almost at that destination and you need further assurance, try this one!

http://tinyurl.com/kmvq67x

Thank you very much for posting these links.  I needed them.  Not because of my MLCer, but because of all the women that have been leading me on lately and then leaving me hanging (most seem to have "sort of" boyfriends they just can't seem to leave - that I didn't know about until weeks later).  It is mainly just one though.  I don't think I've ever been lead on so badly in my life. lol.  But she pulled on all the right heart strings I guess.  Time to reject her.  She doesn't realize what she's missing out on. 

[LisaLives]

Thank you very much for posting these links.  I needed them.  Not because of my MLCer, but because of all the women that have been leading me on lately and then leaving me hanging (most seem to have "sort of" boyfriends they just can't seem to leave - that I didn't know about until weeks later).  It is mainly just one though.  I don't think I've ever been lead on so badly in my life. lol.  But she pulled on all the right heart strings I guess.  Time to reject her.  She doesn't realize what she's missing out on. 

Are you SURE you're ready to move on?  We tend to attract the people we ARE.  It could be you feel somewhat safer with women who are not emotionally available because you are also not totally there yet...  Realize this journey will be full of potholes and bad turns.  Be careful with your heart and their's and take your time.  Love will find you when you are healthy and ready, not a minute before.  Try not to end up like our MLC'ers ;-)!  Love and light, ll

[twiceburnt]

Thank you very much for posting these links.  I needed them.  Not because of my MLCer, but because of all the women that have been leading me on lately and then leaving me hanging (most seem to have "sort of" boyfriends they just can't seem to leave - that I didn't know about until weeks later).  It is mainly just one though.  I don't think I've ever been lead on so badly in my life. lol.  But she pulled on all the right heart strings I guess.  Time to reject her.  She doesn't realize what she's missing out on. 

Are you SURE you're ready to move on?  We tend to attract the people we ARE.  It could be you feel somewhat safer with women who are not emotionally available because you are also not totally there yet...  Realize this journey will be full of potholes and bad turns.  Be careful with your heart and their's and take your time.  Love will find you when you are healthy and ready, not a minute before.  Try not to end up like our MLC'ers ;-)!  Love and light, ll

Yeah, you are probably right.  I think I am, but who knows (its been long enough time-wise - at least it sure seems like it).  I'm probably just lonely.  The problem is these women are claiming to be single, when they are really just trying to find an excuse to leave their BF's I knew nothing about.  I don't know, I guess the one I'm referring to seemed to like and want to do a lot of the things I do, which my W never wanted to do - so I was probably a bit too excited to possibly spend time with someone who actually liked things I do.  Also, she reminded me a lot of my W physically, etc. - maybe I'm just subconsciously trying to replace her with someone similar (probably not a good thing either lol).  I don't want to be with an obvious liar anyhow.  I've had enough of that the past few years to last a lifetime.

[serenity]

Hi twiceburnt,

Just wanted to say hi and I know how you feel about the loneliness but I've come to a decision regarding dating - I have dated on/off for the last five years and been in two R's but I've decided that I'd rather be alone than in a R with the wrong person! I DO NOT want to be like my H and be with the nearest piece of passing rubbish thats available!

I know being alone sucks at times but you have your friends and your son so maybe slow down on the dating?!? You don't want to find yourself in a bad situation. I don't understand anyone that lies and cheats but it seems more the norm these days rather than committing to one person.

Take care and I hope I haven't offended you. My advice was only meant with the best of intentions.

Hugs

X

[twiceburnt]

I know being alone sucks at times but you have your friends and your son so maybe slow down on the dating?!?

Yeah, I know (and no, I didn't take offense).  To be clear, I haven't actually dated any of these recent women.  They came after me also - I was just minding my own business when they started flirting with me.  They just flirt and text the crap out of me calling me "handsome, sweetie, etc." and promise they will spend time with me or go on a date "next week".  The main one had a lot of seemingly legitimate excuses for blowing me off for weeks, but I think they were all just lies.  It's the leading me on crap that is hurtful - they build me up, then let me down.  It's almost like the evil of MLC is still trying to hurt me even though I've let go of my MLC W.

Oh well, I'll be fine.  I'm used to much worse. lol.  It is just very frustrating that there are this many people in the world that are so selfish.  I must be a magnet for potential MLCers down the road. 

[LisaLives]

Yeah, I know (and no, I didn't take offense).  To be clear, I haven't actually dated any of these recent women.  They came after me also - I was just minding my own business when they started flirting with me.  They just flirt and text the crap out of me calling me "handsome, sweetie, etc." and promise they will spend time with me or go on a date "next week".  The main one had a lot of seemingly legitimate excuses for blowing me off for weeks, but I think they were all just lies.  It's the leading me on crap that is hurtful - they build me up, then let me down.  It's almost like the evil of MLC is still trying to hurt me even though I've let go of my MLC W.

Oh well, I'll be fine.  I'm used to much worse. lol.  It is just very frustrating that there are this many people in the world that are so selfish.  I must be a magnet for potential MLCers down the road.

Getting back in the "dating" scene after a long marriage is hard and eye-opening.  Be sure that women who come after you that strongly are NOT okay...  Most healthy women, and most healthy men are somewhat AFRAID to date.  If someone comes on too strong, run hard and fast the other way.  This is where MLCers get it wrong, they feel like these people who come after them must be ALL THAT and see them for what they really are--they don't they see something, usually money, status, stability, and other things they want, but I PROMISE you, anyone who pursues anyone that hard is NOT okay...  Love and light, ll

[stayed]

This is such a good discussion.  Really enjoying it.

Good luck twiceburnt.  You are getting some fabulous advice here.  I must admit, I would not have though of that LisaLives, that somebody who was coming onto me that strong, is probably not the healthiest person.  Good safety tip!

Hugs Stayed

[Savoir Faire]

Sae this and not sure if it's been posted before b here goes....

Link to article bout the shadow side - monster.


http://www.practicalphilosophy.net/?page_id=952