Author Topic: MLC Monster LBS Stages 4  (Read 12932 times)

Offline OldPilotTopic starter

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MLC Monster LBS Stages 4
« on: August 01, 2016, 08:43:18 AM »
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http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2625.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5734.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5789.0

From Stayed
I thought I would add the stages of grief that we all go through with a relationship breakup.

1. Shock: "What the hell just happened?"

2. Denial: "This is so not happening."

3. Isolation: "I just want to sit in this all by myself."

4. Anger: "I hate you for breaking my heart!"

5. Bargaining: "What will it take to get him/her back?"

6. Depression: "I will never get over him/her."

7. Acceptance: "I understand why I was with him/her, why I'm not now, and that I will be better than just OK."

Some keep it a bit simpler:

1.  Denial

2.  Anger

3.  Bargaining

4.  Depression

5.  Acceptance

Several versions actually... but we all definitely go through them.

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2016, 09:01:56 AM »
attaching!
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Seeing The Light

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2016, 11:18:01 AM »
Attaching
"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2016, 12:19:19 PM »
Attaching
Me 47
H 45
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline UnconditionalLove

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2016, 02:15:30 PM »
attaching!
God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
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Divorce/Separated - Joy In The Mourning!
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Offline HopeFaithLove

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2016, 06:30:21 PM »
Hi
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13

Offline toomanytearss

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2016, 12:40:43 PM »
Attaching. 

I've been through them all.  Acceptance was a bitter pill to swallow and I still struggle with it sometimes.  But I feel my best emotionally when I can just accept and remember what will be will be.  To accept you can't expect.  It's my mantra. 
BD Feb 2014
DONE

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2016, 05:40:22 PM »
Well if I really think about it now....I think I cycle between denial, anger, bargaining AND depression. Hmmmmmm does that make me the Rhode's scholar of LBS? LOL.

Toomany--I like your mantra. I may have to try that!
Me 47
H 45
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Seeing The Light

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2016, 07:44:36 PM »
I seem to be cycling through bargining and depression and maybe a little acceptance. I'm a little concerned that anger hasn't popped into the cycle yet, especially with an EA going on.  I'm afraid I'll turn into Carrie when it finally decides to surface, lol.  :o
"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0

Offline Mermaid

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Re: LBS Stages 4
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2016, 12:47:56 AM »
I seem to be cycling through bargining and depression and maybe a little acceptance. I'm a little concerned that anger hasn't popped into the cycle yet, especially with an EA going on.  I'm afraid I'll turn into Carrie when it finally decides to surface, lol.  :o

I hate to be the heretic again... But psychological stages are approximations, and not cast in stone. They're helpful in knowing what to expect and to accept them as normal, but it's not inevitable to go through them all. So if you don't get angry, don't worry, it doesn't mean that there's anything missing from your process. If you do get angry, don't worry. Many people do.

There's an article somewhere on resources which talks about this, and many examples in psychology which now demonstrate that stages are typical but not inevitable patterns.
Forgiveness: To give up resentment against; stop being angry with; pardon; give up all claim to punish; overlook; cancel a debt.

 

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