Skip to main content
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7  All   Go Down

Author Topic: MLC Monster LBS Stages 4

  • *****
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 13334
  • Gender: Male
MLC Monster LBS Stages 4
OP: August 01, 2016, 08:43:18 AM
New thread

Previous threads

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2625.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5734.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5789.0

From Stayed
I thought I would add the stages of grief that we all go through with a relationship breakup.

1. Shock: "What the hell just happened?"

2. Denial: "This is so not happening."

3. Isolation: "I just want to sit in this all by myself."

4. Anger: "I hate you for breaking my heart!"

5. Bargaining: "What will it take to get him/her back?"

6. Depression: "I will never get over him/her."

7. Acceptance: "I understand why I was with him/her, why I'm not now, and that I will be better than just OK."

Some keep it a bit simpler:

1.  Denial

2.  Anger

3.  Bargaining

4.  Depression

5.  Acceptance

Several versions actually... but we all definitely go through them.
  • Logged
« Last Edit: March 06, 2018, 12:33:30 PM by OldPilot »
3
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5412
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#1: August 01, 2016, 09:01:56 AM
attaching!
31
  • Logged
Hurting people hurt people :(
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 936
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#2: August 01, 2016, 11:18:01 AM
Attaching
  • Logged
"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0
K
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5680
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#3: August 01, 2016, 12:19:19 PM
Attaching
  • Logged
Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
U
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2561
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#4: August 01, 2016, 02:15:30 PM
attaching!
  • Logged
God is with her, she will not fall
Psalms 46:5
Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/paintedpraize
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 583
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#5: August 01, 2016, 06:30:21 PM
Hi
  • Logged
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13
t
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3779
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#6: August 02, 2016, 12:40:43 PM
Attaching. 

I've been through them all.  Acceptance was a bitter pill to swallow and I still struggle with it sometimes.  But I feel my best emotionally when I can just accept and remember what will be will be.  To accept you can't expect.  It's my mantra. 
  • Logged
BD Feb 2014
DONE
K
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5680
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#7: August 02, 2016, 05:40:22 PM
Well if I really think about it now....I think I cycle between denial, anger, bargaining AND depression. Hmmmmmm does that make me the Rhode's scholar of LBS? LOL.

Toomany--I like your mantra. I may have to try that!
  • Logged
Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 936
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#8: August 02, 2016, 07:44:36 PM
I seem to be cycling through bargining and depression and maybe a little acceptance. I'm a little concerned that anger hasn't popped into the cycle yet, especially with an EA going on.  I'm afraid I'll turn into Carrie when it finally decides to surface, lol.  :o
  • Logged
"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."  - don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Don't make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

My Journey: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9093.0
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2896
  • Gender: Female
Re: LBS Stages 4
#9: August 05, 2016, 12:47:56 AM
Quote from: Seeing The Light on August 02, 2016, 07:44:36 PM
I seem to be cycling through bargining and depression and maybe a little acceptance. I'm a little concerned that anger hasn't popped into the cycle yet, especially with an EA going on.  I'm afraid I'll turn into Carrie when it finally decides to surface, lol.  :o

I hate to be the heretic again... But psychological stages are approximations, and not cast in stone. They're helpful in knowing what to expect and to accept them as normal, but it's not inevitable to go through them all. So if you don't get angry, don't worry, it doesn't mean that there's anything missing from your process. If you do get angry, don't worry. Many people do.

There's an article somewhere on resources which talks about this, and many examples in psychology which now demonstrate that stages are typical but not inevitable patterns.
  • Logged
Work in progress (none of us are perfect)
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.