[Thunder]

Gosh Hero, that is a new one.  He left his ck book so you can pay the bills??  I think that is huge.
Guilty conscience I suppose, but most of them could care less how you're going to survive.

[shimmerofhope]

Thanks Denjef for all your time and honesty in responding to our questions.  While I totally understand each situation is different, you give us an insight of what it's like on the other side.  Although I can't stand MLC, it is phenomenal.

My question is about OM.  You said he was smart, articulate, listens, etc.  Things you wished your husband was more like.  I know that love is love and OM may be a great guy.  You love your husband no matter his flaws.  I'm wondering if OM tries to contact you again after you have blocked him and asked him to respect the fact you want to work on your marriage, would you start seeing the other side to him.  I feel like the OP is constantly showing the "good" side of themselves; that's why MLCer's are attracted to them.  No conflict.  But we all have flaws.  The more you live with someone and the longer you are with them, you see all of it.  During your time with OM, did you see his other side much?
I'm always hoping that one day my exh will be repulsed by ow2 & ow3 voice, smell, looks etc.  I know he only sees the giggly side now.  The fantasy.  If your OM keeps trying to contact you, would your respect for him change?  Also, the fact he dated you while you were married doesn't make you see him different?  I'm only asking because when exh does come out of this, I want him to be disgusted with them and not think of them as a friend.  I know I'm childish with this thought but I can't help it for now.

thanks again for your honesty.

[heroIam]

Not sure leaving a checkbook is such a positive sign.
I am not on this account.  It is a separate checking account he got just for this purpose.  I believe he has another checking account of his own. 
 I don't see the account and have no access to it. I assume if he doesn't want a default on his credit report he should continue to pay mortgages/bills - that's all that it is. 
I don't see this as being a positive thing.

[heroIam]

Thunder.
You're funny.....He has left his checkbook with me for the last 2.5 years.  I thought you knew that! 
I suppose it could be a positive thing because he doesn't want to default on his credit.....and to keep the house as storage for all of his stuff.
Not because he cares about supporting me.........
After all, MLC is self centered, self absorbed, me, me me....right?
So, although it does help me to stay and live in the home, I highly doubt he is continuing to pay because of me.
Hope I'm not hi-jacking.   

[Thunder]

I suppose that could be the case hero, but it's still benefitting you not to have to worry about how you're going to pay the bills.  I guess that may be one positive.   

I don't think you can hi-jack a discussion thread, even though I know everyone is here to get den's opinions and help.  Right, jen?
 
I think it's helpful to discuss things with everyone, everyone benefits.   

[Keep believing]

My h is/ was always attention seeking too. Tagging along

[Watcher]

Hi Denjef,

I do not want you to waste your valuable time answering my latest question. There is no need to respond. The woman is lost beyond repair. Thanks anyway.

[stillbaffled]

I know a lot of you think if your spouse divorce you it's over, but it's not. True love doesn't die the feelings are hidden. I divorced my H and we were barely talking as I wanted nothing to do with him, and now it is me fighting for my marriage and his MLC.

I hope that MourningDove reads this.  She is headed to court on Friday and I think it would help her mindset to read what you've written here.  It was good for me to read as well.

[MourningDove]

SB - Thank you for thinking of me Yes, this helps take some of the sting out of it

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Denjef,

Posted this on another thread earlier today. Just want to know what you think.

Ok, so today I'm finding that my patience is really being tested.

The XH has decided to relocate back to the area. He will be arriving the day before what would have been our 22nd anniversary on the 20th of this month. MD birthday is on the 29th and he wants to do something with her. She of course doesn't want to have anything to do with with him.

He also been texting me for the last 2 days which is a big no-no. He's supposed to send things through the mail. That's the only way that I will deal with him. And, you guessed it, he won't do that, that sounds too much like telling him what to do.

The divorce decree states NO contact unless regarding the kids. He's been violating that since the day after the divorce hearing, so for me NC has been the last and final boundary that I will not let him violate.

At any rate, now he's texting the girls everyday like he's been here all along. They are just as tired of the BS as I am. So now he's acting like he's coming home. Has he got a surprise in store for him: we aren't interested in playing this game any longer. I'm not sure how the girls are going to respond when he gets here, but he won't be getting one from me on anything that doesn't concern the girls. And even then, it's going to be all written correspondence. Period.

OD's best friend came over to return the house key she had while were away at Christmas, and guess what? The OD still hasn't said anything to even her about XH leaving. Now that's telling. Can you say E&A yet again. Don't even know if the hag is coming with. If she is, this is a small town, and I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Not in this neck of the woods.

At any rate, he really is pushing to see if I'm going to break NC. Nope, not going to happen. So we'll see if "Monster" comes out again to throw his usual tantrum.

In 15 more days, we'll find out...