[jacs]

Please could someone point me in the direction of getting a mentor please?  I did post my story last week but I haven't been contacted by anyone - I'm sure I must of done something wrong.  Thank you

[xyzcf]

I have brought your thread up, sometimes threads get "lost"...can you update us on how things are going?

[UnconditionalLove]

Hi, my thread is dead.  I have been here since 2014.  Ex husband took off to another states after moving us to a new state and left me here. Well...6 years later after trying to message him about money he has told me he is back in the state he left me at.  I’m assuming affair is over.  My question is where do I go to find out information about after the affair?  I know he’s been depressed he did answer that question and he’s probably depressed now and in a city by himself so lots of thinking going on.  He is not reaching out to me.  I think moving here was because it was easier to do.  He has a license here.  I would like to read up on what is going on after the affair.  Thank you!

Replied on your thread...Thunder

[Mercygrey8]

I would like a mentor. I read a post that said that one was offered in the welcome email, but I've read over mine, and I can't seem to find it.  I'm sorry if this isn't where I should be asking this, but I'm not familiar with the site yet. 
Its been 7 months since my husband's Bomb Drop. I think I'm starting to see some daylight, but I'm still struggling. I went through 6 months of raw pain, and even contemplated suicide at one point. I guess I'm sane enough to know that I don't want to slide back into that hell. I already had anxiety problems, but thought I had a good coping skill that worked for me. That all flew out the window after he left. I literally don't know how I made it through each day for months at a time. I'm always asking my kids (grown) if things are going to be ok... Even with constant assurances, I feel anxious all the time. I'm taking medication for my depression & anxiety, but it doesn't feel like it's working very good. Yet I'm terrified to stop, because what if it IS working, and this is as good as I'm going to get.....

[Adultgirlchild]

Hello,
I have never went to a board to ask for help but I don’t know where else to turn right now I need help quick. It’s been 2.5 years since bomb drop. I’ve read everything everywhere on midlife crisis. I’ve had my own. But I don’t know what to do right now.  My partners affair started about 2 years 9 months ago. He BD and moved out 2 year 6 months ago.  His affair ended and he came back home 1 year 3 months ago. I know it was early. We got in to an argument where I set a boundary two days ago and tomorrow he’s signing the lease on an apartment! I don’t know if I should try and get him to stay or just let him go. I don’t even know if he would stay. I’m so scared right now. I set a boundary and he’s leaving so do I just stick to it and let him go? Though I think he’s been on the fence about being with me. I’m boring. I thought he was just maybe starting withdrawal but maybe he’s still in replay. I have no idea. Please help if you can. I really appreciate it.


Edit - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11745.0   post on this other thread for answers   - Oldpilot

[ButlerSally]

My dear, if he doubts whether to be with you, then you definitely don't need him, make yourself strong and let him go. This man is not the end of your life. I wouldn't want you to remember that day after a while and think you should have let him go, sitting miserable in your house. Find a fun activity, start learning something, go on vacation, socialize more with friends, find a job that makes you happy. Take up plants, plant something, it's very soothing.... but most importantly, forget about who's not worthy of you. Be happy dear and be strong, I believe in you!!!!   

[Curiosity]

Hello - just wanted to check with the mentors about using the light purple “reconnecting” icon. W has been back at home just over a year. It’s been about 8 months since we had the conversation where she told me she didn’t want to be separated anymore, and when she put her wedding ring back on. I feel like we still have work to do on our communication, but we are absolutely moving in the right direction.

[Thunder]

Curiosity,

So very glad to hear this!   

Reconnecting

Not for use in early MLC; use only 18 months post Bomb Drop
There can be low levels of Reconnection and these can be common in early MLC, that is not what this is for. Use this for serious Reconnection—so it needs to have been going on for some time and usually your MLCer is home. It is extremely rare for a Reconnection to be genuine until 18 months after Bomb Drop. Some MLCers move in and out multiple times, but often things will still be rocky and a situation may go back-and-forth between the white story icon and purple. By leaving the older threads with this icon, you can even look back and see the ups and downs-and it is important that newbies realize ups and downs are part of MLC-Normal.

With rare exceptions, this is not meant for an At-Home MLCer who simply never left.[/i][/u]

[Curiosity]

Thanks, Thunder! It seems to fit… just over 2 years from BD; she moved out for about 7 months but has been home for a year and actively committed to working on the marriage for 8 months. Our timeline is pretty short but since she has been home there really hasn’t been any back-and-forth about her commitment to our marriage. I appreciate the response!

[Didot49]

Hello, my thread has been locked at only 44 posts, as I haven’t been on here for a while. I would like to resurrect it if possible. How do I go about doing that? Thanks

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10073.0