[No expectations]

31,

How exciting!  I can't wait to be a grandma!! I have grandbaby fever lol. 

Congratulations!!

[31andcounting]

Thank you so very much!! Nothing better! I have  a granddaughter and grandson already and they are such a blessing and bring so much joy to our lives!  this new little girl will be the cherry on top for sure!!
(hugs)
31

[The lighthouse]

Congratulations 31! 

[Reallytrying]

An interesting shift seems to have occurred with H and the kids. He is much more available for the day to day busy work of dealing with them and much more considerate of my time. Last weekend after he finished golfing he came to pick up S to take him to sports when I had assumed I would have to do it. Then as I mentioned Sunday was available to help get d home.   He even called s on a day this week he traveled for work to see how practice went.

S sports schedule is very intense right now so most evenings we are out so h hadn't  been to the house since he dropped d home on Sunday. Yesterday he brought d home from school - for no reason - just because she asked. I had gone to the store and bought air filters for the AC returns in the house but hadnt  yet changed them. They were leaning up in the kitchen. When I got home with S, after yet another game, last night the filters were gone. I asked d what happened to them and she said dad changed them when he brought me home. I won't lie im super happy that I didn't have to climb up to try to reach the returns - and I wouldn't have asked him to do it.

S has practice tonight and h has plans to race his car out of town. He told me about this several months ago. I have plans tonight. I mentioned this to h but said I'd go after s practice was done. This morning he called to say that based on the racing schedule he should be back in town to pick S up from practice. So I will drop him but h can get him and then I don't have to be late.

On the health front the doc said the stress test looked good. I was wearing a heart monitor that was supposed to stay on until Monday. Last night I broke out in hives all over my chest and was told by the doc to take it off. I take Benadryl and drift off to sleep only to be awakened by the sounds of the dog throwing up on my carpet 😱  Good grief! This dog!

[No expectations]

RT,

Sounds like a positive shift for your H.  At least he is remembering he has children and responsibilities, good stuff! 

As for you, glad the stress test went well.  I have very sensitive skin, and break out from any type of latex, which is very hard for things like that.  When I was going through chemo, I couldn't wear the anti nausea patches as I would break out from it.  Hopefully they will have enough of a reading from the time it was on, or can find another way to do it for you.

Hope your pup is okay!  I have a Great Dane so when he throws up....he REALLY throws up!  Lots of clean up 

[Savoir Faire]

Your H sounds more awake and less 'foggy' RT.  It can only be a good thing if he helps around the house   Sounds like the dog needs more attention at the moment!  We love them but they can be a lot of work sometimes, just like our H's

[Reallytrying]

Last Friday he race was canceled and S practice was canceled - bad weather. H came over which surprised me, figured he had a free Friday night he'd spend it with OW. I had plans so eventually I left. I told D to let me know when he left. I was going to a friend's house in the neighborhood. Before I got there she texted to say he was leaving. She then said "he can't even pretend that it's not you he comes to see".

H continues to be very present with S. he always talks to the kids in the morning before school but now the conversations are longer and more meaningful. After S games last weekend he and h went out shopping while I went home. He's pretty hot and cold with me as always - some days chatty other days distant.

On Wednesday I had plans to meet handpuppet for dinner. I asked h to take S home after his game so I could meet her.  I told him I had dinner plans with a friend. He seemed fine when I asked but then was pretty distant at the game. I honestly thought he'd hang out with the kids while I went out but he just dropped S home and left. My mom swears he was bothered because I have plans often now and he doesn't know any details. I had a lovely dinner with HP.

Next day he was super friendly - texting and telling me about work. I filled him in on some family drama. First time in weeks that we've had a substantive conversation. He also texted me about plans he has next weekend. Telling me where he was going and making sure I'd be ok getting S to sports.

Friday S's practice was canceled and h arrived anyway. He hasn't missed a Friday night here in 2 months. He left with D to go shopping. When he had come in S and I had been discussing how much we wanted ice cream but I was too lazy to drive out. He called on the way home to ask what we wanted from the ice cream place 😱 

D mentioned that h had been in a great mood as they were shopping for mothers day stuff for me and then all of a sudden he got cranky. They got 2 dozen roses for me. D said she mentioned that I liked tulips and h said that they always get me tulips so he thought they should get roses. He then apparently said that he remembers once when he got me roses that I liked them so much that I kept them by my bed. He also asked her if she was sure 2 dozen was enough.

This morning she said that she shouldn't tell me but clearly wahted to debrief the shopping trip. She mentioned that they were looking for cards and she decided that she and S would make me cards. H said he needed to buy a card. D assumed he meant for OW and said she got annoyed. He was looking and she said "will be hard to find one since you don't have kids together". He then says "what are you talking about?"  So she said aren't you looking for a card for your girlfriend?  He responded "of course not! Why would I buy a card for her? I'm looking for a card for mom".  Such a bizarre exchange.

[Reallytrying]

S was supposed to have 2 games yesterday but they were canceled because of field conditions. I let h know. We hadn't really made any plans because we were supposed to be at the park watching S from 1-7pm. D texted him to ask if he was bringing dinner since plans had changed and he said we should get dinner. At first I was annoyed because we really means me. But then I let it go. The kids and I headed out to drop off flowers to my aunt. She asked what we were doing and I said going out to lunch since there were no games. She immediately got excited - said my cousin was on his way and we should go with them. Which we did - my uncle bought dinner and we had a lovely day with them. Growth is an interesting thing - couple years ago I would have been hurt by him not bringing dinner or whatever. Now - it stung for a second and then we just kept it moving. Thankfully his power over my mood is greatly diminished.

SIL sent me a generous gift voucher for Mother's Day. I was actually quite surprised and touched. I am pleased that my bond with her has survived her brothers foolishness. Our vacation to Paris & Rome is booked and she and I are very excited.

[31andcounting]

Really, he is definitely "seeing life goes on" and that is a good thing.  I have no doubt he wonders about it!  I remember my H telling me after reconciling that one day my BIL (h's brother) said to him " so, H what is it you want, what is it you expect of 31?"  She is going to live her life, you can see that.  One day she will of moved on, then what will you do?  He said he told his brother " I want her, I want my family! " and BIL said then you better actually tell her!  Now, that same night we were all at a little dance bar(10 of us) and as I danced (without H) some guy kept trying to dance with me as I was dancing with my girlfriend and ......
The next week he came to me and did actually say these things to me
!
We had been "reconnecting" and doing a few things together and with other couples but we also did on our own individually.... I always invited him to attend with me but never did I not go if he chose not to come along.
Have you ever considered asking him to go to lunch or coffee with you, or maybe a movie?

The amount of time your H spends with all of you says to me, he wants to be there!!
Is there anyone in your life and your H's life that could say something like that to him??  Anyone that can give him a gentle push?? 
Of course the time must be right and all that and I am not sure we ever know when that is.?
I know that we should not discuss the R but knowing what I know now I wonder if my H would of ever truly come back if my BIL had not pushed him!?

the time may not be right but I do feel it is getting closer...

just my thoughts
(hugs)
31   

[Never say never]

RT, all of that sounds wonderful!!!  Yay for you.  OMG ... two dozen roses?  And the time he is spending with you?  Your heart must be doing some flips, all while you are continuing to GAL and do other things, like you say, that you wouldn't have done in the past.

Your mirror work is paying off so well.  He sounds so close, I just want to give him that "nudge" that he needs, but ... patience, my dear, patience!!

And the card incident??  OMG.  I'm excited for you!!!

I'm glad you had a wonderful Mother's Day:)