[How long since bomb drop?]

How long since bomb drop?

0 to 1 years

32 (36.4%)

1 to 2 years

32 (36.4%)

2 to 3 years

16 (18.2%)

3 to 4 years

5 (5.7%)

4+ years

3 (3.4%)

Total Members Voted: 86

[StandandDeliver]

I was counting the affair discover as BD because as LL says it was the day I knew that my marriage was not ever going to be the same again. Thanks DGU, LL and RCR. It was the fact that I didn't get "the speech" right at the beginning that threw me. But the fact that he admitted the affair as a fait accompli (he was going to leave because I now knew the truth and he was waiting for after our last family holiday together to tell me, but I pre-empted that by finding out). As an aside, apparently OW was cross at him because they hadn't "agreed" to tell me yet 

[Chrysalis]

My ex told me because "he couldn't be treacherous any more" and said he was seeing OW.  I've since found out that it was because OW had told her husband that she was seeing someone else!  However, I've certainly assumed that that was BD, even though he then almost seemed to be trying to make it up with me (at the same time keeping in contact with her!).  I didn't know it was MLC then so told him he had to go, which he did three weeks later when they moved into a flat that he had rented.

[ladybird]

My H told me that he wanted a D and wanted to leave in March/April of 2010, but to me Bomb Drop wasn't until Feb 2011 when I found out about the OW.  On that day it literally felt like a bomb went off in my life.  Before then I felt that there was a chance to work things out with my H.  But after I found out that there was someone else, I knew that things would never ever be the same. 

[Synicca]

This is where I get confused.....because actually BD for me was Sept 2010...but I truly believe
my H was in Replay back in June of 2010.....

This is when his behaviour got real weird...then in July he had a one night stand with another Ow.
then I got the I dont love you anymore, wanting a divorce in Sept after he met his current Ow.

I go back to June as BD for my sitch.....( or atleast the beginning of replay )

Hope that makes sense??

[faithful with Love]

I think my bomb drop was the day he was telling me about her... I knew that day June 2009...then in Aug 2009 had proof from all the texts.... Jan 3 hotel reciept to prove the sex... he would never admit to it but he was always gone.. So I feel it was June 2009 cause my gut was on fire and I asked him to stay away from her... So I knew this all was coming before he did.

[LoveMeMyself]

Seems to me that my BD was in Oct. 09 when ex hubby informed me that he was unhappy and didn't know what was wrong. He said he loved me but didn't love me like a husband should.  He cried a lot............very emotional.  He also said he felt that he needed to leave........to be alone.  Said he didn't want anybody.  (His EA was underway and full blown in Oct. 09)  He later moved out (slipped out) while I was out of town in Dec. 09.  I discovered OW 3 weeks later..........second BD?? 

[Glimmer]

In my case H took me out for a meal in September 09, and told me he had a 'friend'.  We sat in the restaurant while he told me how wonderful this woman was.

A few weeks later in October I got the speech. 'I love you, but not as much as I should do'.  He bought me a car saying it was to give me more independence.  I asked if this was because he was planning to leave me. He replied by saying that he knew that was what I would think. A couple of weeks later he announced that he was moving out for a couple of months.  He left our home on 4th November 2009.

He spent weeks afterwards finding excuses to come and talk about his decision.  Finally he told me he had begun seeing this 'friend' and that he was spending weekends at her house.

20 months later and he is still looking for reasons to visit, but still practically living with OW although keeping a place of his own.

When was my BD then?. I thought it was the speech.  Or could it be the confession of his 'friend'. Even though I believe she was only a friend when he first mentioned her.  I think he moved out because he wanted it to be more than friendship.  In his eyes if we were already separated he wasn't cheating.

[hyperglad]

I Guess my first BD was March 09 when he said he wanted to live alone...didn't want responsibilities, wanted to see what it was like to be single, even though S was only 13 then. Kept telling me he was going to get his own place, he had been acting weird for a while. Then Aug 09 i found out about OW. He left the next night went to OW then 9am the next day begged to come home...that was the start of many cycles.

[Rollercoasterider]

This is where I get confused.....because actually BD for me was Sept 2010...but I truly believe
my H was in Replay back in June of 2010.....

This is when his behaviour got real weird...then in July he had a one night stand with another Ow.
then I got the I dont love you anymore, wanting a divorce in Sept after he met his current Ow.

I go back to June as BD for my sitch.....( or atleast the beginning of replay )

Hope that makes sense??

Bomb Drop occurs during Replay or initiates Replay.
So in your situation Bomb Drop was in September 2010 even though you noticed odd behavior before.

This is Bomb Drop, not the start of MLC--which is often 12-36 before Bomb Drop. So looking back many of you will notice behavioral changes that you may have dismissed at the time.
 

In my case H took me out for a meal in September 09, and told me he had a 'friend'.  We sat in the restaurant while he told me how wonderful this woman was.

A few weeks later in October I got the speech. 'I love you, but not as much as I should do'.  He bought me a car saying it was to give me more independence.  I asked if this was because he was planning to leave me. He replied by saying that he knew that was what I would think. A couple of weeks later he announced that he was moving out for a couple of months.  He left our home on 4th November 2009.

He spent weeks afterwards finding excuses to come and talk about his decision.  Finally he told me he had begun seeing this 'friend' and that he was spending weekends at her house.
...When was my BD then?. I thought it was the speech.  Or could it be the confession of his 'friend'. Even though I believe she was only a friend when he first mentioned her.  I think he moved out because he wanted it to be more than friendship.  In his eyes if we were already separated he wasn't cheating.[/quote][/size]
You can consider either of those Bomb Drop. After the disussion of his friend did you notice behavioural changes? How about moodiness or cycling? Really those events were only a few weeks a part and it is spliting hairs.
The first was Bomb Drop if there was an idea of Escape within it. That doesn't mean he had to verbally talk about leaving, but it may have been felt like tension in the air. That discussion was your first clue that something was not quite right.

[Synicca]

Thanks RCR~~


That makes sense....so BD was Sept...but he was allready in replay in June/July??

Did I get that right??