[Slow Fade]

There are therapists, psychologist and others who work in Neurosciences that will tell you that MLC doesn't exist. And they have the degrees and the research to back up their claim

And we have what they don't....personal experience. Science isn't always the answer.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Anjae, I shouldn't even dignify this with an answer, but...

I didn't say I didn't believe in it. I stated a fact, that there are those in the medical field that will tell you bluntly it doesn't exist, period. What I stated was, we don't really know what it is. Read the book, "Mindset" by Dr. Carol Dweck and work on that fixed mindset of yours.

Slow, In case you have forgotten I've been on this forum for a few years as well. I just welcome other possibilities to explore. I'm just tired of the same people deciding that they're right on the forum and others are wrong. It's becoming a very closed minded forum.

Having said this, there must be something to this on BOTH sides. It may be a brain disorder for some, an emotional disorder for others, a chemical disorder, etc... No one knows for sure. The only thing anyone does know is that it's happening. That we can all agree on. It's all conjecture at best.

Why someone gets attacked for not conforming to the spouse is beyond me. God forbid this information actually help someone. There's even a study Neuroplasticity that states that the brain is not hardwired, and can be changed. It's all debatable. The last time I checked this was a debatable subject. I for one welcome any type of research, it helps to explain some things, but not all.

Let's all be honest for just a sec, not everyone here has a MLC spouse, and many will find out that that's not the case. If you're still holding on after so many years, and they don't come back? This may be a permanent end to your marriage. For some here, this is something that they will have to accept.

Even RCR has stated that the chances of the MLCer coming back are slim. Other sites say the same thing. This site is to help people sort out what is going on in their situations. If that offends some of you, then maybe you've lost your objectivity. Everyone came here for answers, you may not agree with what their posts say or ask, but there are valid points being made in every case.

If it is Dementia, then that would a good thing. Where there is disease there is a possibility for a cure. Not one person has stopped and thought about that. I don't know what it is, I just know that it's happening. It can't be ignored, and every avenue is a least one step closer to the answer that someone is looking for. There is no test, and every case is different. The similarities are only line in the general behaviors and attitudes, not the specifics. That's where all of the debates come in.

The need for some to be right on this forum seems to have clouded some people's objectivity and judgment. Just an observation.

By the way, I have friends who work for NIH ( National Institutes for Health ), 3000 is not a large number in the grand scheme of things for research. The conflicting web hits on Google concerning this subject alone are mindbogglingly high.

[xyzcf]

Absolutely fabulous:

The need for some to be right on this forum seems to have clouded some people's objectivity and judgment. Just an observation.

If you look at the top of this page in bright purple it reads:

The Hero's Spouse. Dealing with Midlife Crisis and Infidelity When You Don't Want a Divorce.

There are several threads where people have written about many potential causes for mid life crisis. We are very interested in looking for what caused this tragedy to destroy our families.

What is not helpful, IMHO is when a poster states emphatically that Mid Life Crisis does not exist and implies that we are foolish to believe in such a fairy tale.

Therein lies the problem.

[Mitzpah]

Let's all be honest for just a sec, not everyone here has a MLC spouse, and many will find out that that's not the case. If you're still holding on after so many years, and they don't come back? This may be a permanent end to your marriage. For some here, this is something that they will have to accept.

Quite true and acceptance is our objective here.

Once we accept, we can move forward with our lives whether they come back or not...

I just don't think that the majority on here are dealing with a diagnosable mental disease as FTD. I really believe that MLC in its varied presentations is the common thread here.

[Silver]

By the way, I have friends who work for NIH ( National Institutes for Health ), 3000 is not a large number in the grand scheme of things for research. The conflicting web hits on Google concerning this subject alone are mindbogglingly high.

Well no one can just generalize what is 'large number of things' as it depends on things and what do you want to know about things and what methods you are using.

[Thunder]

 "Midlife Crisis" is Brain Disease of the Frontal Lobe"

THIS is what most people are upset about.  Not, it COULD BE, but it IS.
If it had been put this way (could be) no one would have cared.  A lot of people on here have said it could be this, or that....and no one cares.  But to keep insisting it IS over and over again is ridiculous.

I would say that is being closed minded. 
One person has gone and figured out what everyone on this site has.
We may as well close up shop and all go home.  We have our answer.

[Silver]

"Midlife Crisis" is Brain Disease of the Frontal Lobe"

THIS is what most people are upset about.  Not, it COULD BE, but it IS.
If it had been put this way (could be) no one would have cared.  A lot of people on here have said it could be this, or that....and no one cares.  But to keep insisting it IS over and over again is ridiculous.

Totally agree. Ridicilous is exact the word to use here.

[Not Applicable]

This sums up bvFTD's obsession:
 

You probably know where I am going. Get your spouse diagnosed to help us find the cure before one of your children is afflicted later.

She wants everyone to be diagnosed with this disease so that the disease gets the attention and people have 5k walks to find a cure and they wear orange ribbons and have celebrity spokespeople and the like. But this is a really insensitive and selfish way to go about it.

[kikki]

Pyroluria or Pyrrole Disorder was my bvFTD. It was several years into researching my xH's condition that another lbs (kikki - I don't think she'd mind if I called her out!) and I found this one.

Don't mind at all Ready 
We sure filled those biochemistry and brain threads in the early days.

With such a sudden personality change and out of character behaviours, I always knew that something had to have happened to my MLCer's brain.  The list of potentials is long and could be as 'simple' as depression, ranging all the way to the likes of bvFTD. 
I've finally stopped watching out of the corner of one eye for a potential brain tumour to be more obvious.  I guess after 7 years I can finally cross this one off the list.

If our MLCers were open to being investigated, then I am sure more of them would eventually be diagnosed with something (ranging from depression to dementias).  So often those initial diagnoses will be reviewed and changed as time goes on.  Medicine is not always an exact science.  Psychiatry and psychology even less so.  Most bipolar diagnoses are 10 years in the making, for example.

But of course, 'there's nothing wrong with them', so that's a moot point for most of us.

[OldPilot]

But of course, 'there's nothing wrong with them', so that's a moot point for most of us.

YUP! Exactly