[Helpingme!]

Chris's,
It's the same I wd say. My W gave me the speech and at other times said the like a brother or daddy thing too.
Well I told her I'm not her brother and dam sure not her daddy. 
My W also said she didn't understand what being in love meant anymore. She said why can't I just love you, why is that not good enough???
I think they dont know what they really feel ATM. Try not to beleive any of it.

[nah]

Does anyone feel that their vanishing spouse loves them less than others who have a clinging boomerang or a live-in?

I did when it first happened.

I don't think that now.

Again, we can't go into their heads and see what they are thinking whether they are on the other side on the country or sitting right next to us. 

What we can do however, again whether they are sitting next to us or on the other side on the country, is work on ourselves and then look back to what we had.

Was it good?  Not the fake version that they painted or even the glossed over version that we imagined, somewhere in the middle, was it good? 

For me, I also had to separate the fear of change that I had at the time.  Was I so broken b/c I had so much love for him OR was I afraid of change, afraid of abandonment, afraid of what other's would think?  That was all mixed in too for why I believe I wanted him back so bad.

So, after I worked though all my issues (which took a long time) I again, revisited whether or not our marriage was as bad as he had painted. 

I believe it wasn't perfect but it certainly didn't deserve a "mic drop" and I believe we could have worked through both of our issues and had an even better marriage, but the past can't be changed now.

I know it seems I'm going a little off the topic but the point is not whether they are a vanisher, boomerang or a clinger, IMO I believe what matters is what the marriage was like before BD.  I don't know what exactly happened, if it was some kind of medical issue or if he just plain old didn't want to adult anymore but I don't think the "type" of MLCer has anything to do with if they loved us more or less before they changed, I think the type of MLCer just has to do with their own personal way of coping or more appropriately lack of coping skills.

[ChrissYAH]

Chris's,
It's the same I wd say. My W gave me the speech and at other times said the like a brother or daddy thing too.
Well I told her I'm not her brother and dam sure not her daddy. 
My W also said she didn't understand what being in love meant anymore. She said why can't I just love you, why is that not good enough???
I think they dont know what they really feel ATM. Try not to beleive any of it.

Hm, he did tell me that he has no feelings inside him that he feels numb void of feelings, I thought it was a cop out.  So then my question is how can they feel nothing and jump into another relationship???

[Helpingme!]

Chriss 
I think they dont have any feelings atm. For us or anybody else . I think that's main reason for other person. They are searching for feelings but they dont find it with OP either.
My W told me rt after BD time that not one time with OM did she reach climax with him ( I hope that's not too much info) just trying too explain.
Now my W might have said that just too try make me feel better but I don't think so. I read stories with men too, they need help from pills to even do it, and they didn't have that problem with their W before.
So just my opinion  if there was true feelings and live there, that we not be a problem. 
I think their just searching for it but they dont find it. Still sad and it sucks for us as LBS, but we still have feeling that our spouse did live us and was IN LOVE. Anditnwill return one day, just my opinion.

[nah]

So then my question is how can they feel nothing and jump into another relationship???

They aren't happy with themselves but also, they are afraid to be alone.

Also, most of the time, they don't jump into another relationship, most MLCers don't jump until they have a pillow to land on.

That's how most of these relationships begin....

They look into the mirror and see an old man and wonder why they have been working their whole life but never seem to have what they want (the unsatisfiable mind).

They try changing the outside, (ex, new clothes, new car, gym, etc) but that doesn't work.
They start to wonder and then obsess if life would be better if they had a change.... the grass is greener syndrome.
Then either a coworker, or an old flame, or just some on-line fantasy gives them a little attention, or they purposely go out and seek that attention... just a taste at first to boost their ego.

Then it escalates and they have to make a decision or the decision is forced on them either by the other woman or the spouse finds out on her own.

Bam.....

If it was really about our marriage they should have come to us.  We could have spent some time turning over every rock on how to fix our marriage BEFORE they moved on to another relationship.

but.... that's why we are all here right? .... because none of this crap makes sense to a normal person.

[ChrissYAH]

The X married the op HM, I don't think I could ever bring my self to look at him, let alone let him back into my life.

[ChrissYAH]

Apparently he was introduced to morgana after BD, rolls eyes, whatever! he's stewing in his own $h!te, good riddance.

[Helpingme!]

Chriss
I think some are more high energy and just A may not be enough searching for them to figure it out. My W was with a married man and he went back too his W. My W snooped on my phone and found messages from OM too me where he said he didn't live my W, he was just using her for sex and too see if he really still loved his W. So Chriss  I think that had a huge impact on my W. She seen he didn't give a $h!te and after that is when she went into a wallowing depression for months. Probably not for me but for her seeing her OM was not her knight in shinning armour but just SPOS.
But if things were different and OM wd have played the game longer, my W cd have very well married his sorry ass.
She did mention one time how he was the one, yeah right.
But I do understand what you mean if you even want him back.
I think that decision is all ours. An A, marriage or just EA, it's our choice if we want them or not. None of this is easy, dam I still struggle , but it's our choice what we do with our life, not MLCer.

[nah]

The X married the op HM, I don't think I could ever bring my self to look at him, let alone let him back into my life.

That's why many of us often say that the LBS gets to choose how this story will end.

[ChrissYAH]

Seriously, how could anyone ever let someone like that back into their life after all that destruction? never to be trusted again, and how could they even think its possible let alone try and weave their way back in? NOT a fat chance! enjoy your sorry life without your kids Mr.