Yes, this is familiar. This, I guess, is what very avoidant people could address to make their lives more fulfilling. In that they can express their needs, without fear, and hopefully get some of those needs met. This is not your fault. You did not make an avoidant man. You probably kept him on a even keel for a long time.
As to you psychiatrist telling you to 'move on' - is this the right person to support you at this time? Someone (not a psychiatrist) said that to me, very early on, and I felt, well, insulted. Yes, I am able to move. And I move at my own pace. Too soon for these words, there's no magic bullet. Yes to not ruminating and wallowing (if possible) but also yes to finding a calm centre focused on one's self for as long as is needed. You are doing so well Anoi - your strength is obvious in your posts.
Yeah, he always was afraid to say No, until he has to scream it and hurt ppl for no reason. I was the one saying No to ppl, was and is the excuse to say No and so on. Well for now his slowly boiling to go again on his patern and scream no at me. With the same success rate he can scream it to the wall.
I'v made some progress as i see it. I didn't detache, but i got fed up a bit with accepting his terms and conditions. When it comes to hugs and so on it's his private business, but my life is my private business and i am doing as i see fit.
Yeah, i am not even close to being ready to move on, i don't want to divorce him and i don't want people telling me i should, including him, by the way.
I think one day i will want it, but right now is not the time and place for me. I have enough on my plate without those talkes.
Well i think she is part of my process, i need to hear her and i need to hear myself too. The truth is in the middle, haha:)
Long weekend ahead, i have my own plans, weather is nice. I did move some projects of mine this week, so it's not lost. I found my very unstable calm spot and trying to stabilize it, cause i like where i am emotionally in the last couple of days, so at least i know it's very possible.
My ankle is acting out though, will get MRI results next week and hopefully understand how to get back on my two feet, i really wanna do some sport-ish stuff and holding myself back until i know i will not harm myself more.