[Mamma Bear]

  I LOVE hearing all of this. Even a Newbie (7.5 months post BD) can be happy...
 Still loved when he told me "I am with a REAL FRIEND NOW!"     
  LOL LOL  A complete stranger.  What a Skank Ho. I am glad I never mention her or give her any power. I am glad H doesn't request that the Ds sleep over or go on day trips with her. NOTHING!!!!  That alone must make her     She must ask WHY?  What would he say to explain why she saw the Ds only once in March?   HMMMMMM!
    Maybe he said "Mamma Bear really didn't do anything wrong and I need to respect her."  or" I don't think this is gonna last so why cause so much trouble."         Whatever.  I just hope he doesn't start up again with that request. Sickening.

[crazyforhim]

OMG yes my H did that...wanted to bring the kids into that life. But for so long he didn't and never asked. Guess the OW's put the pressure on and then he did ask and I couldn't deny him his kids. But than after 1 or 2 visits the requests stopped again.
I don't look forward to my kids going there but the OW is nothing and if she was so important to him. He would want her involved in all aspects of his life.
Way to go mama...wish I could say I was where you are at when I was only 7.5 months after BD. I am over 2 yrs and still have
set backs.
It is sickening but we are strong and you would think that the OW's would be asking why they are more involved in H's lives if he TRULY LOVES THEM (LOL!!!!!!!!)

CFH

[nesquick2]

mamma bear and crazyforhim, how old are your kids. mine are aged 4 - 14 and see there dad regularly. even stay over there house at weekends. my kids see no wrong and actually like ow (YUCK LOL).... i dont badmouth her to the kids. hubby gets very angry with our children but spoils ow kids loads. it killed me inside at first but i have got used to it now. ow guard will come down one day and my kids will see for themselves what shes like. i know my kids look out for one another when at there dads. my kids are good kids on the whole but they argue with ow kids. i did not want them to stay with hubby at first but i could not let the kids not see there dad.

[LeaveThePastBehind]

GOSh, how glad am I that There are no kids involved in my situation. Very! OP does have a child though so I have if that has any affect my ex. I'm sure it does, to some extent because we never had children and he did want to have one ( we were trying but it never happened ).

I do recall making one phone call to the OP to get the facts and she pretty much told me to leave him alone and that he's a person of the world now and he and I are on totally different levels. She also said that he only ever said good things about me.

That was a little over two years ago and I have no idea if OP is still in the picture. I have no way of knowing and I really prefer not to seek out info on them unless he reaches out to me in some way. My feeling is though that they are still a *couple* and that they are happy. I can feel it.

[Mamma Bear]

Nesquick, My ds are 9 and 11.  They went ice skating with her and him once. It was 6 weeks after BD and he had been underground the whole time. I was a mess. After they left I got on the computer(crying) and started typing furiously looking for advice.  God lead me to Hero's Spouse    Everyone came on and welcomed me and said "NO" Don't let them around OW....Since my H kept asking after that I finally said "If I died on feb 14th (instead of BD) would you have another woman in OUR BED that fast?"         That shut him up.
      He didn't ask again until end of May. Wanted to go to a B&B with her and my kids.  When he asked he answered himself "I'm guessing the answer is NO?"      Good guess, Einstein.  So so lucky. I'll keep praying for that.  Sometimes I think it's bc I make a lot of $$ and always supported him. He really can't hold down a job on vicodin. He's a bad employee. LOL  Always late etc etc He's out of his mind. For that reason I don't think he wants to be on my bad side. He'd rather have me all weepy. He knows he's confused.   Too bad for him at 7.5 months I am not weeping anymore. Big strong beautiful Mamma and I am really booking some time over here at work.  Praying for good things for you Nesquick. You've got your hands full over there. Hugs.
      LG told me to ask him for a court order if he starts demanding to take them around her. I hope it never comes to that.   

[crazyforhim]

nesquick my kids are 10 and 3...but I hear you about it killing you when the kids first started going there. But he is not consistent in taking them so they really don't go there all that much.
The kids like OW so yes, that makes me sick and I don't really ask them about her and they don't talk about her
But true, can't deny him his kids and he is good to them .
The OW has a child but I have heard my H say she gives him no respect....

I have heard stories on here as well that I shouldn't be allowing the kids over there...but how can you deny them.
He pushed and pushed until I finally gave in and then my D asked why they don't go to daddy's. Well that made me feel worse.
But I now am ok with them going over there and they do have fun with their dad so that's a good thing.
He doesn't let OW get involved with everything they do so I'm ok with that too! They aren't as happy as they try and prove to be...lol   lol
CFH

[nesquick2]

mamma bear. thank you for the hugs and prayer    i am a busy mum lol. thought i was close to my kids before BD but how wrong was i. i would not be without my kids. lots of love and laughter in our home. few tears sometimes as the eldest d is seeing her dad change all the time but i always  reassure her. ive told you before but i will say again mamma bear. you sound so strong and i so love your humour. you are one funny lady. some of your comments make me lol. hugs back to you too. take care and keep laughing 

[nesquick2]

hi crazyfor him. thank you for the reply. my eldest two sense not too talk about ow. i dont mind if they do. ive got used to it now. my youngest two chat about ow quite a bit but they are too little to understand. although i do think my d 6 throws some truth darts in there. god i love my kids lol. i know at the end of the day i am there mum and always will be    i also look forward to the day when my kids dont see ow so often but hey this is mlc. anything can happen. as long as the kids are safe and happy, thats all i can ask for. like you say our hubbies are the kids dads and we cant break that bond. but also some of the threads i have seen if our kids are not safe to go then we have to protect them. got to agree ow and hubby are far from happy 

[crazyforhim]

Thanks Nesquick...so nice to have the support- god what would I do without everyone on here.
I here ya about being so much closer to my kids then I ever thought I was before.
I look forward to the day the OW is GONE! lol
Thanks and keep posting...love to read all the posts and how strong everyone is.
How many kids do you have?
  CFH

[nesquick2]

hi crazyforhim. ive got to agree this website is amazing. such great support. i think us lbs have to be strong to pull the kids through. we deal with our pain but only after we have sorted our kids out. that too me is so important. i refuse to be nasty to hubby. my own parents divorced 30 odd years ago and cant bare to be in the same room now. very sad. although it was not an mlc break up. hey hunny, ive realised ow is just a symtom of there mlc. look in there eyes and behaviour. i was soooo upset at first as hubby went back to his first love through facebook. she dumped him years ago. i just thought it might now last forever but his body language does not tell me that. we need lots of patience and believe im tested so much but i refuse to bite. i have four beautiful kids. one boy and 3 girls aged 4 - 14. hubby has just took s of me for being an unfit mum. i know im not. hubby has just manipulated s. i know in my heart my s will come back to me one day. its a heartbreaker but s says he wants to be with his dad. s is 12. ow bought s all the top stuff and it was deduted out of my maintenance. i pray for  the day my s wakes up and comes back to me. remain strong and come here if you need advice cfh...... hugs to you