[Mermaid]

Sometimes thay forget what they've said.

When I remind my H, he says "well, I didn't really mean that. I was trying to find out what I did mean". Oh yeah.

The interesting thing is that it does start to get more consistent after a while. They seem to believe one explanation for a while. Then another, completely different thing.

My Hs latest is that I did too much for him, and that made him feel too dependent. He says it's not my fault, he knows I did it because I loved him. Uh, yeah, and because he wasn't there, or he was exhausted / stressed out when he came home. I actually wanted him to do stuff too, but he refused! D'oh

[GottaBeMe]

Mine forgot what he said a LOT, and when reminded would do the same thing....backpedal!  Almost every sentence started with "oh well..." too. 

I know exactly what you mean about doing things too.  One time before we were separated, I had been asking him to fix a coffee table for about 3 weeks.   After 3 weeks of him ignoring it and me, I decided to fix it myself.  AFTER I was done, he says "I always knew you wanted to be the man of the house", and he was nasty about it, not joking around.  Apparently me fixing it made him feel inadequate but he'd had 3 weeks to rise to the occasion.  I would have been more than happy to have let him "be the man", I had enough to do! 

You just can't win with them.

[In this for ME]

Well it ended up that I did SO much around the house I told him one day VERY sarcastcally
"Don't worry honey..you'll make a man out of me yet!"

[GottaBeMe]

ITFTLH,

LOL, sounds like something I would say!

[Mamma Bear]

Last night on the phone H said " I wat you to be careful with our D ages 9 and 11 on the computer. Youve got three girls with you included and no man in the house" He repeated that 3 times with no answer from me until I said"Thanks for reminding me that there's no man here."     Maybe I should write 'new man' on the grocery list.

[In this for ME]

Thinking out loud- idiot

Tell him you got one stashed around there somewhere..just can't seem to find him at the moment; maybe  up a tree in the backyard talking to the squirrels 

[Mamma Bear]

 Our D11 drew a picture of a "Monster in the House" and a "Witch in the house"   I was just staring at it and decided to tape more paper onto it and I wrote a letter to H. It is a list of "Have you considered...?"
      My Hs big complaint is I pushed him away sexually to put everything else first and I don't like him. Then he ran into the night to OW house. (I know he loves me.He's jacked up in the head) Low self esteem/insecure
     I was done writing to him after leaving 2 love letters after BD 2-14-11...We usually talk about the kids or the weather. Sad.
    The list has things like "Have you considered that I do like you? You are my favorite human. That I was buried under the rubble of being a Mom/Wife/Pharmacy Supervisor at a busy hospital/taking care of his mother who lived with us?
  Have you considered that making you happy was my prime concern.
I was putting food/shelter/homework/elder care/ chores and lifes basics first.
  That I am human and made a mistake?
  That I haven't looked at another man in 15 year? 
  That I love you unconditionally? (if you even know what that means)
  That I still get butterflies in my stomach when you call or come over?
  That you told me " You wouldn't touch me so you can never touch me again?"
  That the above statement is medieval. Like cutting off someone's hands b/c they stole a loaf of bread?
  That the love we have doesn't grow on trees?
  That someday I'll get over you and just send you a Christmas card?
  I ended with "Please don't send me anymore We can be 'friends' letters. My friends were holding me on the bathroom floor for the last 2 months while I cried. "
  I can't wait to see clingy's reaction to that. Everything I mention is a positive about how I feel about him.
 
     

[LettingGo]

Listen up, everyone.... this is required reading from page one to page finish.... bumping up as a reminder that as sad as MLC is for all of us, especially our MLCers and children, these words are still funny as hell! 

[Mamma Bear]

     LG<   Yes indeed. I got to hear the other day about hooking up w/ OW  " I thought she was married." (Hs secret friend who worked at the convenience store) "I went to bring some stuff over her house like amps and guitars so I could move out.  Cause you kept pushing me away.  That's when I found out she wasn't married"
   OK so following this logic then what ?  You took your clothes off b/c you forgot YOU were married? Never came home and left me and the girls crying by a window? OW was a complete stranger pretty much.   
     How do you MOVE IN with a complete stranger? It's like an episode of  Monk where he has amnesia and ends up in a small town. Some woman grabs him and tells him he's her long lost husband. Monk is so out of sorts the whole show. TRAPPED> LOL LOL

[arp1]

Lots of the above resonate, but specifically I've had:

ILYBINILWY
It's me, not you
I'm the problem in the relationship
I want to have fun
It's my time
It's time to party
You don't understand/You won't understand
OM is not the cause
I don't want to bring OM into this
I've been unhappy for years
You can't meet my emotional needs
I told you I was high maintenance
etc, etc