[OldPilot]

Not sure if this is in this thread but here is a list of success stories from DB and one was just added.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2277089#Post2277089

[Stillpraying]

FindingJoJo,
What a great story with a great outcome.  Clearly their eyes were opened to the truth and they no longer live in denial.  Fantastic!!

[alwayshope]

Nice reconciliation story:  http://vimeo.com/5538490

[Ibelieve]

Thanks for sharing these stories. Some are very inspirational.
 My H is trying to come back slowly after 2+ years. I finally got it out of him that he wants to come back. He would not admit it to me before that.
He broke up with ow before Christmas, didn't tell me that either. And since then has been being extra nice to me. I was getting confused, so I asked him what does he want from me.
He said he wants to stay married to me. But he knows it is up to me if that is what I want.  I told him we need to talk things out, he has a lot of explaining to do, and I am still upset about some things. I suggested counseling. He did not like that idea, but said he would think about it.  But sadly he is NOT ready to talk it all out yet. And several people here say it is best to let them be until they are ready.

So I was telling a Friend this story the other day. And she started telling me the same thing happened to her about 8 years ago. He H left saying he had to find himself, wasn't happy, wasn't in love any more, etc. etc. Just like all of us. He was gone 2 years. He came back one day crying saying he couldn't believe what he had done to his family. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He wasted 2 years with her and the kids. They are still together and happier than before. More romantic, more caring, and he appreciated her a lot more.

[Stillpraying]

Ibelieve.
Good to  hear from you.  I'm glad you got a straight answer to a straight question for once.  Glad your H is starting to see the light!!!
Don't settle for second best though.  Look after you now.
hugs,
SP

[alwayshope]

Ibelieve, thank you for sharing!!!  I am happy for you, if reconciliation is what you want.  I can imagine the road will be hard, but we will help you walk down it!  Thank you for sharing your friends story as well

[Ibelieve]

Hi Stillpraying and Alwayshope,

It's funny that I have not just asked him to come home yet. It surprises me. If he would have done that the first year, he would be home right away, no questions.
But that was a desperate time. Funny how time changes us, and makes us stronger. I  appreciate all the help and advise I can get. You are wonderful!

Yeah, still in love with him, dang it     But, I don't know about trusting him yet...I just bought a really great book called...

" I Love You, But I Don't Trust You, The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship" By Mira Kirshenbaum.

[Emma Lou]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! You are so right that God is using your story to touch others, as I am one.

I know that God has told me also to "wait." Like you it is not only my husband who is on this journey of change, but me as well. Sometimes I wonder if God has allowed this MLC to happen in order to get my attention and restore my walk and faith in him. Not to mention the work he is doing in my children's lives, as well as my H.

I also hear God telling me that I must be patient. One thing I think I've come to understand is God's definition of patience is a lot different from most of the human race. I feel it is a term that we often throw around loosely, but after some period of time most of us grow weary, think we have waited long enough and give up. Although I am human myself and at times feel discouraged and like I have hung in there long enough, God reminds me that his timetable trumps mine! So I continue to wait.
God has revealed that my story, like yours, will serve as a testimony to many. It actually already has. There are some friends who are "sitting on the edge of their seats," to continue to see what God is gonna do, and how this will all turn out.  And I'm so excited to witness the faces of those doubters, who believe my stand, despite me telling them this is God's biblical command to me, is just me grasoing at straws. I know that my God will be glorified when my husband returns to his family thru faith, prayer and belief.
Thanks once again for sharing your story! Praise be to God!

[BennHurr]

nice work ladies.
i will give my advice and you may take it or leave it.
some personalities both male and female cant cope with the counselling, the introspection and the probing into their lives and their mistakes. Some certainly are contrite and want to make things right but some are not.
I think its a good idea to search your own intuition as to what type of person your partner is and will they be a come home....show them the love they need and eventually they become incredibly grateful type or whether they need to continue to have that time apart to grow and essentially 'win' your heart back type?
to expect the first type to be contrite and self aware is unlikely to produce fruit.

were i a woman though i would want to take it slow and make my husband earn trust and respect. for eg dont rush back into sex (men dont like easy conquests) or fully embracing and lavishing your love like you may want to.
Love but with boundaries, complete acceptance but with a time perspective and patience. lots of nurture, care, touch etc but sex is for committed relationships.
If your husband doesnt like it then his intentions may not be honourable.

cheers ben

[Ibelieve]

Bennhurr,

Thanks for that. Though I was thinking that it could hurt my decision in taking him back, if he did not want to go to counseling with me. I think that if he really wanted me back he would do what ever it takes...
I am with you regarding earning respect and trust.. My h needs to work hard to get that back. And I'm not planning on rushing the sex either. Good advise.