[readytofixmyselffirst]

I have put everyone else above my own wants for years

I have been unhappy for one, five, sixteen years...forever

You were never there for me

I've always been a good girl for once I want to be bad. (Got really mad when I said, "I'll treat you like a bad girl." You have to understand that I need to learn to keep my mouth shut at times)

People have walked all over me for years

I want to have fun

I just want it all to end

You don't understand me

Om has nothing to do with us

I only have twenty years left, I want smiles.

I need space

It has all been about you and your career

Give me a couple of more months then I'll let you know

Thank you

Thank you

Take care

Thank you very much

I don't know

I prayed to God and he (om) came into my life

We tried counseling and it did not work

[xyzcf]

Our first therapist (who we paid good money too) actually told my H that it was time for him to get in touch with his bad side..he also told me that  when I returned to the states, that I needed to find a therapist that would shake up my moral values?? So much for therapy..far more useful to come here.

[hurt01]

I can,t live like this anymore.
I don,t love you enough to stay with you.
There is just to much happen over the last couple of years that has changed us so much.
I,m not happy.
All I am is a paycheck.
Nobody will ever make you happy.
you pushed me away.
As far as I,m concerned we are not married anymore.
We can still be friends, just friends.

Ask D- When is it his turn to be happy?

[ece711]

I like the title of this thread...   let's look at this at the other side.  No matter how you spin this if you are to break up with your spouse/girlfriend/husband or partner how many lines really does exist for a person to use?
If you look at the bigger picture whether you are MLC or not and you want to "break up" a relationship how can you say it to your partner without using the same phrases? 

Any suggestions ?

Reason why I ask this is for us to realize that these "phrases" that seem to be used a lot is not because the person is in "MLC"...  it is not exclusive to a person in "MLC", in fact teenagers/ or young adults  uses the same phrases.  I view these phrases simply as "BREAKUP LINES".

 

[Dontgiveup]

ece711

A few thoughts from me about your question.

Teenagers and young adults may use some of the same phrases, though I'm not sure "I love you but not in love with you" is a common teenage breakup phrase.

The reason I think these phrases can be attached to MLC is because they tend to demonstrate that nothing is really wrong with the marriage itself.  That may be why these phrases can be called "bomb drops".  Saying these words so suddenly after 10, 15, or 20 years of marriage is different than after dating someone for a few months.

Also, on this particular thread, many of these script lines show the MLCer actually taking some of the responsibility.  A big part of the script in my case is similar to what Readytofixmyself first wrote.......which is projection.  My ex-wife took very little responsibility for how she felt.....she projected it on me....yet she is the one who wanted the divorce.....yet it was my fault that she did.

One of the commonalities in my case, my friend's case, and it looks like also in Readytofixmyselffirst's case, is the MLCer talks about a lack of intimacy.  The commonality of the scripts in my case and my friend's case went beyond the breakup itself.

[rediscover]

I agree that these phrases are used quite often, by teenagers or young adults.  These are not phrases used by mature adults in committed relationships.

I was married before for 5 years to a man that abused me and abused himself. After trying my hardest to maintain the marriage through years of therapy and solid communication with my partner I decided to end the marriage and the relationship. I communicated exactly why this had to happen. I never said anything like "I don't know."
I knew exactly why I needed to leave the marriage and so did he.

When I was in high school and college dating I'm sure I gave some lame excuse from this list, because I wasn't mature and there wasn't a committed relationship.

[In this for ME]

I never got the ILYBNILWY speech I got

You sucked all the love out of me!!
                           and
I've been such a Boy Scout when it comes to you.

Guess that's why he felt the need to be with someone else.

He used the "boy scout" thing about work once also about 2 or 3 years before he got himself fired for flying into a rage regarding overtime pay.

[justkeepmoving]

If I can remember correctly as it was like a dream that I couldn't wake up from.

I got so much going on in my head - twice
I'm numb, I don't feel anything
I'm sorry - my Ds and I all agree if he says this one more time we're going to throw a shoe at him !!
I didn't start seeing her until I left
She feels bad - UGH !!
You pushed me away for years and I need to protect my heart - what about mine ?
You never want to do anything with me

and on and on and on !!

[What Next]

Ive been unhappy for x,y,z, years

I'm not coming back

I don't love you

How can I love someone who would let me live in unhappiness

I only stayed for the girls

We only stayed together out of fear

We both had a part to play in this bad marriage

At the same time

You don't deserve this

You did nothing wrong

We had a good marriage

Its not you its me!

I'm so screwed up

I need space to work this out

[JustFine&Dandy]

I just don't see you the same way.

If I stayed, it wouldn't be 100%.

OW is not a homewrecker.

I can't give up OW.

You and I are two different people with two different outlooks in life.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's not the same light that you see.

The devil is my shadow.

If I'm having my cake and eating it too, then why am I not hungry?

I'm depressed.  No, I'm not depressed.

I only drink because I'm here.

I'm not the right man for you.

I don't really feel guilty for what I've done and it's messing with me.

I think I had some kind of postpartum depression after my vasectomy.  That's why I feel so attached to OW's D.