[After the speech/bomb drop, did your MLC'er continue to be affectionate?]

After the speech/bomb drop, did your MLC'er continue to be affectionate?

No

10 (32.3%)

Rarely

5 (16.1%)

Occasionally

5 (16.1%)

Regularly

7 (22.6%)

Every time we are in contact

4 (12.9%)

Total Members Voted: 31

Voting closed: July 19, 2010, 04:14:29 PM

[Still]

my wife has told me I don't deserve to know what she is planning.

Hopefully it is a great big party with your name on it for all the frustration you have endured on her behalf! 

[OldPilot]

my wife has told me I don't deserve to know what she is planning.

Hopefully it is a great big party with your name on it for all the frustration you have endured on her behalf! 

Yeah right, it is a nekid pool party. 

[Still]

[Mermaid]

  lol

[Dontgiveup]

The lack of physical affection has been the toughest part of this journey for me as the spouse....now ex-spouse.  It has helped me to read some other resources that discuss this.

On another forum, a question was posed asking whether the MLCer thought about their spouse often.  The answer from someone who had experienced MLC was yes, BUT they were negative thoughts during the crisis itself.  Even from an affection standpoint, this helps to understand why some/many MLCers do not give affection.

[Purple stain]

yep, intimacy decreased prior to BD but since BD, no physical contact. This is the hardest thing to swallow cause I want to matter, and I want to feel loved and wanted. He no longer calls me by my nick name, no more snuggling...nothing. And it really bugs me tonight  Just shed a few tears because of it cause I just talked to my friend about it who is going through the same thing with her H

[Still]

Purple Stain,

The nickname thing is a weird aspect of MLC. My H didn't address me by anything for a very long time. Now, he uses my nickname, but sometimes he will use my formal name, which is so odd.

[Broken Hearted]

Purple Stain and Still
I noticed that H stopped calling me by my nickname also, a name that he gave to me. This hurts.

[LettingGo]

My husband didn't really call me anything for a long while. Then, I noticed he used my given name and even shortened it once to a version I dislike and have NEVER gone by. It was weird but I didn't say anything. Wonder what that is about? Now, sometimes he calls me honey but it is sporadic.

[trusting]

My H hasn't called me by any of my nicknames since the MLC and has only called me by my given name once or twice.  He just doesn't call me anything - just speaks to me when we are in the same room. A couple of times it was more like a "hey you" and it made me so mad that I decided if he did that again I would call him on it but he hasn't.

It is just odd.  Makes me feel like less of a person that I can't be called by my name. Wonder what that is all about?!?!?