[Freddygone]

BonBon I see your point.
A breakdown hurts them whereas MLC hurts everyone else.
I never thought of it like that.

[honour]

I have known many people who seemed to suffer from marrying "too" young (and I say this with the caveat that I don't mean ALL who marry young). 

So I do think that often, situational issues add fuel to the MLC fire, such has having "missed out" on those party days.  But my H didn't miss a single "party" yet wanted to return to that life regardless.  This is why I maintain that it can happen to anyone regardless of situation.  I do believe it is an individual thing fueled by a vain and superficial culture of youth, wealth and so on.

I don't think it is the marrying young itself. It is the people who marry young. In my own situation W was damaged by events in her life when she was 7 years old. This damage I believe led her to want the security of a marriage at a very young age. I would say to her it is only a ceremony, you are married to someone by your feelings. But she needed to be married to feel secure.

So in my view it is the pre teen damage that has caused to her go into midlife depression. The unresolved childhood damage that so effected her self-esteem coupled with all the MLC triggers has set it off. And she had al the triggers: loss of relatives, empty nest syndrome, illness requiring operation, job loss and menopause. The job loss was huge. In fact she hasn't lost her job because she left the country to live where her company was relocating and of course OM works for said company. She is just text book MLC. It is a breakdown of sorts. The extraordinary absence of empathy is evidence of very unhealthy thought patterns.

honour

[Freddygone]

Very unhealthy thought patterns, lack of empathy.
My wife has just told my daughter 21 that she is having a one month break from OM. Whooppee,........
 BUT it just happens to be three weeks before she has to go to court to discuss finances and may be asked if she is cohabiting.
Call me cynical, but after 4 years with the guy, is this a coincidence. I think we are not falling for this one.
For a few days I really thought she was coming out of it. She fooled my daughter.
I must be soft in the head. But I think she and OM are thinking very clearly.  We will see what happens in a month.

[honour]

I must be soft in the head. But I think she and OM are thinking very clearly.  We will see what happens in a month.

The MLCer has an extraordinary ability to deceive and be cunning. In that regard they think very clearly.

honour

[BonBon]

EEE GADS!
I never thought of it that way...
The fog so huge they can't remember, can't do or say this or that...and yet the absolute clarity to think and act deceptively.  Wow, that is so true. And such an ugly truth.  Wow.

The lack of empathy is what has always disturbed (and hurt) me the most.

[kikki]

The lack of empathy is what has always disturbed (and hurt) me the most.

I'll second this. 

[honour]

EEE GADS!
I never thought of it that way...
The fog so huge they can't remember, can't do or say this or that...and yet the absolute clarity to think and act deceptively.  Wow, that is so true. And such an ugly truth.  Wow.

Well, they have the capacity to lie, deceive and be cunning but that doesn't mean they are very good at it. My W was being adulterous 600 miles away in a different country and wouldn't tell me who the OM was. On one of her returns to our home you should have seen the look on her face when I gave her his name!! "How do you know who it is?", she whimpered. She was equally shocked when I named the restaurants she had been to with him.

honour

[LisaLives]

There must be more of it in Japan than there used to be.  The article origin is in NY, but someone saw fit to put it in the Japan Times...

http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/eo20110909a1.html

[Anjae]

There must be more of it in Japan than there used to be.  The article origin is in NY, but someone saw fit to put it in the Japan Times...

http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/eo20110909a1.html

Lisa, the feature seams to be more aimed at western englisg speaking people in Japan. I do not find anything on it talking about the rise of midlife crisis in Japan and the book and movie references are all western.

[LisaLives]

I didn't really look at it, but I thought it was weird that I was reading this thread for the first time and while I was reading I got that article on my alerts...