[With Gods Help!]

Bumping this for those who need to know what limerance is xxxxxxxxxxx

[Trustandlove]

I agree with Anjae that limerance is basically infatuation; it's defined here a bit more "academically", perhaps.

I recognise it -- I remember feeling that way in my mid-20s about a guy, and even saying to myself "I'm so in love I can't see straight".  And that really was it -- I couldn't see straight and it wasn't love at all.  It still hurt when the relationship didn't really get off the ground, but it taught me something valuable, that that sort of infatuation wasn't the real thing at all. 

The shadow side article is good, though, as it explains it clearly and simply.  That the attraction is basically not having to live by any rules.  I certainly see that in what my H is doing, he's said as much as well -- that the unfettered life is the attraction. 

[Anjae]

How come I've only found this thread today? 

So, lets see, since "But though personality may drive initial love and attraction, Fisher has found that keeping that loving feeling requires one specific skill: maintaining positive illusions about a loved one, or "the simple ability to overlook everything you cannot stand in someone," she said" and our MLCers are delusional about OW/OM, OW/OM are their true soul mate. Right? Not! 

Very interesting articles, FTT.

Found that Coursera has a course called The Addicted Brain https://www.coursera.org/course/addictedbrain Seems interesting but one cannot enroll yet. They don't know when the course will open.

Drugs & the Brain https://www.coursera.org/course/drugsandbrain , that I took last year will have 2 extra weeks in 2014. One for "Drugs for epilepsy and migraine. Drugs for anxiety." and another for "Drugs for psychiatric diseases: Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia. Prospects for better drugs."

We did studied those conditions on last year course but people want to know more about them, and how drugs (meds) can work for them so the professor add those 2 extra weeks. May take the course again next year.

For now I'm having fun with Neuroethics https://www.coursera.org/course/neuroethics it far more than Neuroethics. Hormones, brain chemicals, how certain parts of the brain work under this or that situation. Fascinating stuff.

[in it]

LOVE THIS Anjae!

I'm starting Science Communication in a couple of months but I'll look into these other ones also.

I first read about this place from Calamity..I'm so grateful I saw that post!

There's nothing stopping from improving ourselves with the spare time we have!

[superdog]

Wow that just answered one of my questions. Great articles, thanks.

How did I lose so much love for my h? Simple I lost all respect. How very true. It's impossible to maintain that loving feeling when the blatant disrespect from their actions and behaviours leave you with no respect for them.

I found it interesting about how certain types flock together. I am afraid I am high energy who fell for the analytical testosterone type. Well that's who I thought he was anyway, perhaps not so much.

Geez, we are complex, yet not, if you know what I mean.

Sd
X

[Anjae]

I'm starting Science Communication in a couple of months but I'll look into these other ones also.

So many of us starting new courses.  What a wonderful thing.

There's nothing stopping from improving ourselves with the spare time we have!

Exactly. We have the time we may do something we want, like and improve our selves with it.

How did I lose so much love for my h? Simple I lost all respect. How very true. It's impossible to maintain that loving feeling when the blatant disrespect from their actions and behaviours leave you with no respect for them.

Yes, when we loose our respect for the MLCer I think we loose our love, or part of the love, for them. We do know they are unwell, we do know it is a crisis and so on but in many cases respect was lost. Can it be earned again? Maybe. But think we will not know that at least until the MLCer is out of Replay.

[thissucks]

Check out the attached article regarding the idea of a spouse never having loved their spouse.  It references a study about how people rewrite history during divorce:

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/i-was-never-in-love-with-you-hesaid/

[Returned]

Wow interesting article about rewriting history...I can certainly vouch that MLCers do that...
It is also interesting how the LBS feels that they have been deceived....

[Thundarr]

Interesting article, and I found the comments just as interesting.  I'm not sure I agree with the retired Marriage and Family therapist, though, as she seems to not be very pro-marriage event though she does acknowledge the effect on the kids and how it perpetuates into adulthood.  Marriage is about honesty and sacrifice, and saying "some marriages need to end" is just listening to the cacophony of voices telling us to "do whatever it takes to be happy."  Happiness of the world is never truly found as we will always look for something better once we go down that road.  Perhaps that is why most MLCers don't seem happy - they've listened to the world rather than the voice inside themselves.  Something to ponder.

[Slow Fade]

.  Marriage is about honesty and sacrifice, and saying "some marriages need to end" is just listening to the cacophony of voices telling us to "do whatever it takes to be happy."  Happiness of the world is never truly found as we will always look for something better once we go down that road.  Perhaps that is why most MLCers don't seem happy - they've listened to the world rather than the voice inside themselves.  Something to ponder.

I couldn't agree more Thundarr.......