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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 5

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#10: July 18, 2013, 04:17:48 AM
Quote from: calamity on July 17, 2013, 04:51:48 PM
Quote from: 1994 on July 17, 2013, 01:40:04 PM
QUESTION - Conseling

I went to see my IC today.  He informed me W44 has requested a meeting.... she has requested we go to MC... I went to see her IC a few times (alone)... I believe she has not gone to see her IC more than 1 or 2x.

I'm guessing I am NOT to bring it up.  I signed the HIIPA releases to my files.  My commitment is to be solid and transparent.

Guessing/Validating... I am supposed to wait until either my IC contacts me or W44 brings it up.

What would you do?

Yes I would wait for IC or wife to bring it up.  What's HIIPA?

I signed paperwork that she had open access to my files... Without me being there
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#11: July 18, 2013, 10:13:26 AM
New question.

Need some comfort and advice on my thread please! :'(

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3708.0
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#12: July 18, 2013, 10:49:34 AM
I could really use some advice on how to handle my MLCer's lastest e-mails.
Thanks.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3759.0
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#13: July 18, 2013, 12:59:22 PM
***New Question***

I am roughly 7 months from BD; OW is on the scene, H is still at home. The thing that has been driving me crazy is H's selfishness and total disregard for me. Trying to explain to H that he is being disrespectful just brings out Monster; he looks at me like I am the one being unreasonable. It is boggling, I am so use to being able to reason with H that I get completely flustered. Anyway, a couple of things that I brought up a few weeks ago about being disregarded/disrespected that H considered me to be irrational/unreasonable about he has done a 180 on. He has become understanding  :o

Does anyone have any thoughts/ideas on why he would do this? Is he just cycling?
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#14: July 18, 2013, 01:35:56 PM
Meaning  --- How could he go from monster to understanding?

Maybe he realizes that being combative will just create stress and drama.

Maybe someone spoke with him...

Maybe he's moved on from projecting fault
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#15: July 18, 2013, 01:44:06 PM
It is the first time in months that he seems rational; I just don't know what to make of it.

Quote from: 1994 on July 18, 2013, 01:35:56 PM
Maybe he realizes that being combative will just create stress and drama.

Maybe.......but it seems like he is enjoying the stress/drama. Not like him at all.

Quote from: 1994 on July 18, 2013, 01:35:56 PM
Maybe he's moved on from projecting fault

He hasn't projected fault or anything else onto me yet. That is something else that I have been thinking on.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#16: July 18, 2013, 01:46:36 PM
Mine cycled a lot between feeling things were unreasonable requests of him and getting that he was being insensitive.  Thought he was out of the tunnel with that a year ago, but he picked up hot and heavy and now just tries to avoid as much as possible.  Replay!  Expect nothing - it's the only way to keep from being disappointed until the if/when point of them being out of the tunnel. 
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#17: July 18, 2013, 01:51:22 PM
Quote from: Ready2Transform on July 18, 2013, 01:46:36 PM
Mine cycled a lot between feeling things were unreasonable requests of him and getting that he was being insensitive.  Thought he was out of the tunnel with that a year ago, but he picked up hot and heavy and now just tries to avoid as much as possible.  Replay!  Expect nothing - it's the only way to keep from being disappointed until the if/when point of them being out of the tunnel. 

I know he isn't close to coming out of the tunnel; this is just the first time that I have seen consideration in so long that it is alien to me  ???
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#18: July 18, 2013, 01:53:33 PM
I kind of think that he is worried that I might leave, hence, he is being more considerate. He definitely doesn't want me to go  :o
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We all do damage. Character is determined by how we repair it.


BD - December 2012
OW1 confirmed - December 2012 on-and-off for 34 months and counting (still refers to her as just a 'friend')
Wants to live like roommates - November 2013
I moved out - April 2015
H is still checking the anchor
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Re: Ask a Mentor 5
#19: July 18, 2013, 01:54:35 PM
New Question

I was wondering how come I see the sad, drunk, crying, not wanting to live husband?OW gets the gi n do things with H, laughs, has fun together man.. I'm the one that should get all of that n I don't. It is hard knowing this and itmakes the days a lil longer. It'sdepressing and I miss them times I even miss the damnfighting with him. I wantthemdaysbackall of them, even the days where he is at wits end with me n vise versa..lol. I miss my husband.. Idk what stage he is in now..cause Idk how long he has been actually goin through this. How do I get my husband to want me back..I meanhe let's me see this one side of him and that must mean something, i would think anyway?  Is he just fishing for me to make sure I'm still there or does he trust me enough to show kw us hurting?  Idk if this is all just a show or not? 
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