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Does No Contact Work? - What You Need To Know Before Using It
Does no contact work? That depends. You have to know how to use it properly before it works effectively. If you are only half-hearted about it or give up half way through, it will definitely not work for you. Find out below exactly how the no contact rule works and what you need to do to get your ex back.
There is almost no technique more effective for winning back an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend than the no contact rule, and it has been used time and time again with wonderful results by many who find themselves in your position. There are a lot of actions that you should be taking, but an effective no-contact policy is a big one.
When implementing a no-contact policy, you need to make sure that you put it into place correctly and then stick with it in order to maximize your results. It doesn't undo all of the negatives that the breakup caused, but it can get you headed in the right direction. It's even possible that a no-contact policy can stand alone and get your ex back once and for all. You'll need to understand how it works and what's expected of you if you want it to have an effect in your specific breakup situation.
What Makes The No Contact Rule Effective?
It's possible that you've heard of the no contact rule long before you thought about using it to help resolve your breakup. It's used a lot, and when used correctly, it can stop a breakup in its tracks. In order to understand how powerful a no-contact policy truly is, you first need to understand how it works and what it can bring to the table in your particular set of circumstances.
When you stay away from your ex instead of chasing after them, a few beneficial things start to happen. First of all, it catches your ex by complete surprise. They may have come up with a long list of what they thought you'd do after they dumped you, but disappearing off of the face of the earth probably wasn't one of them. They thought that you'd pursue them and try to convince them to take you back. Instead, you've practically disappeared. As a result, they'll start to miss having you around, and they'll miss what it's like to spend time with you. They may start to be paranoid that you're moving on and leaving them behind - and that's something that they never expected to encounter after ending your relationship at all.
Additionally, if your ex wants to stop you from moving on, they'll have to take action. Instead of maintaining the feeling like they have all of the choice and all of the options available to them, they'll realize that the scales have shifted. You're calling the shots now, whether they wanted you to have them or not. If they want to keep you from moving on without them, they'll have to take action to get back in touch with you again. They never thought that they'd have to face the reality of a life without you in it. Making them recognizing that danger will push them into acting, and they're much more likely to make contact with you themselves.
What Can Cause No Contact to Fail?:
A no-contact policy can only be effective if you stand your ground and stick to it. If you back out after a few days or even weeks and reach out to your ex for contact or comfort, you're only going to shoot yourself in the foot and unravel all of your hard work. No one is saying that a no-contact rule is easy. It's not. It takes a lot of commitment and dedication in order to pull it off, and if you don't have the stamina to stick with it, it's going to backfire on you.
The no contact rule is also going to fail to be effective if you only confine it to one form of contact like phone calls.A no-contact policy is exactly what it sounds like. It means that you can't have any contact with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend period. You can't try to excuse contacting them on Facebook just because you're avoiding calling them.You can't continue to text them if you're still showing up at all of your favorite hangouts. You also need to take care not to give your ex a plethora of information about yourself. If you constantly update your social media profiles, they're going to have all of the information about you that they need, and there will be no air of mystery that they have to uncover.
If seeing your ex is impossible due to school or work, try to keep this contact to a minimum. Do your best to avoid contacting them as much as possible. That's the only way that the no contact rule can truly work out in your favor.
What's Expected of You?
Since the no contact rule is going to be just as difficult for you as it is for your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, you need to have plan in place to keep yourself busy. You have a lot of work to do, and you need to be productive throughout this time. You can't spend all of your waking hours sitting on the couch, swimming in a pool of self-pity. You need to get up and get active, and turn this into a golden opportunity for research,growth and revelation.
The no contact rule isn't an end-all to all of your breakup negativity. Sometimes it works on its own, but sometimes you need a few extra weapons at your disposal, and now is the perfect time for you to read up on these other techniques. You need to have them lined up and ready in case you need to put them into action in addition to the no-contact policy that you've already established. You also need to start focusing on the reasons that caused your breakup to begin with and try to fix some of the issues that led to your breakup to begin with.
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No Contact