I can't agree with that, MLCers 4 pillars are God, Body, Spouse, Job. My wife align with all 4. They just must function, but under persona - mask. They are under covert depression. They wanna change all 4 pillars but they haven't energy and will to do it that make them even more angrier. Ie means, Body = plastic surgery, running, gym, teenager cloths. God, stop to be religious and accuse God for their misery. They get fired from job because they cannot function well in it. My wife change 4 jobs since she go in MLC. Lost interest, low motivation, stubbornness and so on. Spouse is to blame because their life sux and who to blame = SO. My W in beginning blame self = Antihero. When we start to fight about her EA, then she blame me.
So, they are miserable in all 4 pillars, but they have to work and function in life under mask, but they are covertly depressed.
I agree that they fight what they have but some of them function pretty well. And for years on end. One of the pillars, God, does not apply to every MLC. Some, like mine, are not, and never weere, religious or God believers. So some are not fighting that pillar.
What I mean by them functioning pretty well is that, some, manage to keep a MLC job for many years (mine has been on his steady MLC job for 6 years), a relationship with the same person for many years (OW2 has been in place for more than 5 years) and they look normal to anyone, sometimes even to old friends.
With some MLCers only the LBS, and maybe a close relative, may think they are strange and different. Everyone else will nothing wrong with them. So, if they can hold a job for years on end, keep the same relationship for many years, lead what, from outside, is considered a normal life, they can function in the outer world. They are not in hospital or in a mental health institution.
Still, mine is not able to find himself. Next week he has left 7 years ago. He remains in Replay and doing what he was doing when he left, being a DJ, clubbing, going party. He probably got too lost into MLC madness.
Mine is also become a workaholic. He has to keep himself busy at all times. Years ago he told me he could not stop because if he did he had to think about what he had done. Now, after many more nasty things done, he must be terrified of a moment without work, people around him, loud music, constant movement.
Most can work themselves into the ground even if it may take many years. Mine, I don't know. 7 years of party and clubbing and still able to not to sleep, or barely sleep, several nights in a row? This from a man who when young and until a little before he left needed at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
The ones who no longer have what they treasure before MLC (and mine has nothing. he does not have me, we don't have the marital home, doubt his old boss wants anything to do with him, he will not be accept back on our joint project that I'm slowly trying to bring back to life) may found it harder to get out of crisis. After all, all they have is themselves, their MLC mates and the other person. May be better to stick to that than to risk come out of crisis to be faced with nothing you used to treasure.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
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REPLAY - #3