[Synicca]

Smitty.....your H obviously wants to reasure you that he isnt talking/texting OW...Thats nice isnt it?

Thats what will have to happen...to be so transparent you can see right through him

My H did the same thing the other day while on the phone...he was telling me everything OW was texting him....I didnt ask, he just told me.
Like he wanted me to know how horrible she is....or that he didnt care..IDK I know its a lil different in my case...but Honey was being
very open about everything.....more then ever before. was nice for a change.

[Battlefield]

Thanks Synicca,
 Yes it is nice that he wants to reassure me of that. I am just doing what I should b and leave him alone if he wants to talk then im there.
It is hard though when they go from being so nice and getting closer to you then they back off and I know it's bc of OW withdraw so I am just letting it B. See when he is ready!

[Synicca]

Perfect Smitty....Be the lighthouse with a huge bright beam pointed in your H's direction...hehehe

((hugs))

[In this for ME]

Well I once again went through emails and found the ones they were writing back and forth right at the endback in January.  Some of the sex was mentioned. He made a comment of how it went on for hours and hours ( Oh joy) She referred to his ED and how he didn't seem to care about it.
So I don't know who's more f'ed up..unless of course the sex didn't involve actual intercourse.
Funny that was yesterday. Our D18 wanted to play an online game last night on his computer. Then she somehow uninstalled it and asked me to fix it this morning. I went to find them again and he's deleted all of those emails.

[Battlefield]

Thanks again Synicca!!!!

[Battlefield]

Inthis,
 Does you H know you r getting into his email to look through?  I'm just curious to know.

[wondering]

That's what I was thinking. He may have seen that you looked at them. The history of what you did on the computer is able to be looked up by him. Maybe that's why they were deleted. It's best to leave that stuff alone.

[In this for ME]

Nope no way for him to know... and this morning he gave me his password for the computer.
 Honestly? If he's being truthful about working on this he NEEDS to let me see what he's up to on the computer. This is how all the crap started with her to begin with.

He will not discuss hardly anything with me right now that's why I lost patience with him the other day and told him I'm fed up with the mention of her name. BUT it will have to be discussed.

He moved the computer from the garage into the house so he is more accessible while using it and cannot "hide" as well as he did before and that was his idea to move it.

[Battlefield]

Inthis,
I understand exactly what u r saying. Now that my H is home u can't help but think all sorts of different things. But I just have to let it go and focus on other things. My H doesn't hide anything and he leaves his phone plugged in the bedroom. I just have realized in the past is u can't focus on the negative things and I think the best thing is to give him space and show him that u trust him.
I know that sounds so weird with all they did, but I know that this is not my H,and I know he wouldn't do this again. In fact we discussed this the other day he told me he knows I don't trust him and he understand but there is no way I would ever do that again, I don't understand how people do this over and over again. I have been so miserable. I just know in my heart that my H will  never do this again and I believe showing him that I have faith in him goes a long way for our relationship. If I kept asking and nagging him about every little thing that will cause other problems.  I just have to Trust,love,forgive and take it day by day.

[Battlefield]

Hi everyone,
 Just wanted to give you a quick update. My H has been home a week, the first 3 days were good, I can tell that he is full OW withdrawal. He hasn't any contact of any kind with OW for 7 days. He really withdrew on Monday and I really havent spoken to him very much at all. He just goes in the backyard and pulls weeds or sits and just has a beer by himself for hours. I asked him if he was ok. He said yeah don't I seek ok? I said yes you are just really quiet and sitting in the backyard. He said I;m fine.  Yesterday was a bad day. I needed help with something but he was just not all there. I cried out of frustration and he just said what the hell r u crying about. Well the angry H is back we didn't have a R talk H just started spewing a little telling me that his mind is going everywhere and he doesn't know what to do. I told him I'm sorry and I can't imagine what that is like but u will get through this I know it's not easy but u will.  Then he said whatever I know I'm going through something but I can't help all the thoughts I have  He said I came back here bc I figured I had nothing to lose and I wanted to see if I did have any feelings for u but I don't I haven't for years. I said Ok I don't agree to that what so ever I know what it was like before this I know u can't see it now but U will.
He said a bunch of things he also said if this was 8 months ago and I was having all these thoughts and feelings I would of left, but I'm in a different place. I did tell him if you can say with 100% that u r done then go I will not stop u but I will go down the next day and file. I will not go through this again and put our D through it again. She has come around some and is starting to talk to u and have things to do with u, but if u do this again I will never have anything to do with u again, I will walk away and end it completely. He couldn't say that he didn't say anything. He called his mom and told her I know I'm going through something I just know that she has questions that I can't answer right now. (which I didn't ask anything) Every 5 min my mind changes it's all over the place. I still have some feelings for OW but I don't want to b with her but my head is just everywhere. He told his mom that he took a long time to make sure he wanted to come back 100% sure and he is he knows what he wants and he is where he wants to be(home) but he just is going through something right now.
I know he is going through OW withdrawal so he just needs to hang in there and work through it and in a few weeks it will b better for him.
I know I just have to sit back and be quiet even though I want to smack him upside is confused head.
OW withdrawal is not easy they seem to go back a ways and have Monster moments and the confusion is worse now, Bc when he came back the first few days he was nice almost like old H and he was open about everything which I know were his true feelings but now that he is in OW withdrawal the confusion is back and screwing with his head. He knows he needs to fight it and I know it won't be easy on either of us but silence is all I can do and keep busy Like I always have let him deal with his crap alone.
There was a lot more but I will remember later I'm sure.