[mercury]

faithful with Love
 
First off, let me just tell you (I'm sure you've head it before) that you can't listen to the garbage that comes out of their mouth. If he didn't love you, you would not have been married for that long. Your sure dealing with a big cake eater. You stated your boundary clearly to him now all you can do is stick to them. A MLC is a nasty person, they are also evil, gross, childish, and plain stupid, so to tell the truth they're the same in my book. You could try going dark or dim, that way the all over you might stop and you wouldn't be listening to upsetting comments. I think this is why God didn't give me a cake eater but a vanisher because I'd be like go a head see if you could pick up 3 girls, you .........................
You did very good with handling it all. 

[xyzcf]

The hurtful things that they say...so incredible that the person we knew so well for so long turns into something...something that is hideous and pathetic and just plain wrong.

And we need all the patience in the world to continue to stand up, to continue to find peace in our life.

They are crazy, crazy, crazy...why would anyone want to live this way?

Like that you told him you won't help with the divorce..he wants it..let him get it. That shouldn't upset him...he wants it right? They are so mixed up and downright crazy..oh yeah, said that before.

Take care, be good to you. Try to ignore the hurtful things that he says and does. You matter, you are the one that is important!

[faithful with Love]

They are crazy....lucky us... i know not to listen to anything that he says..... it is all a LIE... Ready to move on but i want to stay in the house. I have 3 of us and he has himself....He should move...he talks about the future and all that crap.. but until he tells me it is over with her and she is kick her to the curb....there is nothing to say...... This will end one way or another... he will lose me and he can keep his ow.....she will make him happy...lol....how dumb can you be.... I know that I am very beautiful and wonderful.... so his loss....lol....I will win no matter what....

[Mamma Bear]

  Ok Question: If all MLCs are different how come it is a foregone conclusion that if BD was w/in last 4 months it's too early for any REAL
reconciliation?
  My H left Valentine's Day. Ran down the street to OW apt. Saying "You'll never change.You don't like me"   Was completely gone
for 6 weeks.
  Now Touch n Goes to get Ds 8 and 11. Smiling .Telling me and girls I am beautiful. Batting his eyelashes at me. Says "I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to be close to me either"
  Wandering around our big beautiful house when I'm not here commenting on "Mommy keeps this place so nice. Mommy is so beautiful. Mommy has changed."
  Mowing the lawn. Checking my oil. Changing the gas tank on our grill.
 Ds say he lives in a tiny 3rd floor apt with OW that is disgusting and smells. He hardly works driving the limo. He used to be a stay at home Dad. I make great money. Ds say they don't have cable or TV. Just VCR tapes. Plus she's extremely ugly. (has 7 year old who doesn't live with her.She's our age 50)
 I've been quiet and forging ahead since I found this site right after he left. I have religiously followed ALL the advice given in the articles. I never even raised my voice since it happened.
 Is it cake eating that he comes around and he acts so nice and normal.  He was always the jealous type. Can only fathom that he needed a place to run to and he's using her b/c it's convenient.
  WTH? LG has me convinced he'll be gone at OWs for a long, long time. I'll keep doing what I am doing because when he blinks those love eyes at me I can't help but feel he's trying to say "I am confused. Please give me some time to straighten things out>"
   Who knows That Tunnel sucks. Thanks.
 

[mercury]

Mamma Bear

The timeline listed on here is an average. Replay seems to last at least two years, what you are seeing is touch and goes within replay, he will bounce between you and her(s).  Each MLCer is different but yet very similar. RCR states that to be leery of a MLC who returns before the two year mark because it could end up just being a long touch and go.  It seems like they have to dig themselves the deepest, darkest hole, fall in, and lay around in the mud before they move into the next stage.

[faithful with Love]

Mama Bear,
My h is 35 tomorrow and has been at this for nearly 2 years. And the crap that comes out of their mouth is like a fricking total MESS, one minute they are sweet and great if you dont ask nothing, if you do then they rage at you like you are the one that was cheating. I really dont say anything to much about it because it is a waste of my time and my energy...Mine is cake eating because he will be with her and then want to be with me. Very hard for me to even let him touch me but I am the wife it is my right if I let him. I realize that somedays he is coming out of the fog but then he gets sucked right back in...that is his fault...He told me he wants ALL of it done....while baby you have to make that happen. But, I feel I am reaping the conqueces of his doing cause he wants a divorce now because of the s**t he created. He ownes up to it all being his fault and he created the mess however he wants ow woman as a friend. That is not happening it cant, get mad when I say that. I see as this he has called all the shots and I waited and for what? So I have choosen to take contol back of me and say ...its your life not mine.. I have 2 kids to look after, im 37 and I am still young..I was meant to be a wife and a mother...if this is not what you want then go..but he wont leave the house, I just keep my distanst and now that it is nice out, i plant flower, stained the fence, adn get my toe and nails done, go out with friends, and I am civil as I can be to him, he sees what he has done but will not change anything. If this is what he wants then he knows he has to change for the better and positive for our lives and home to be a positive for our kids. 

[faithful with Love]

mercury
How does that work with the ones that don't leave? Is the bouncing the same? I mean he is all over the place...

[Mamma Bear]

  Ewwww. I was trying to answer my own question also It might be to get set for NO EXPECTATIONS> No sense in setting myself up for a fall thinking he's smarter then the average bear when in fact he is in a CRISIS and doesn't know what the f' he is doing. Really. Thanks Merc. Makes sense..stupid jerk face moron insensitive pig sense

[faithful with Love]

Mama bear,
LOL, he is a Pig right now. It has taken me so long to get here and trust me I still struggle everyday...But, I have learned so much about me and who I am along the way. I think what holds me to him is our past. The memories. Those make me cry because it was good. Do you know he doesnt even really remember the great times but he remembers the fights we would have. Crazy all of 17 years and the last 2 have been the worst for the fighting, but like I said there is an elephant inbetween us and if the fighting needs to stop we have to face the elephant and get rid of it first (OW) then look at the root of the issuse...He will not come to that yet and guess what "oh well" cause all it does is fustrate me and then i start to go into a shell again and I realized I was living in a coffin for nearly 2 years feeling like I was nothing because he keeps choosen a ow over his own wife. Yes, a ow, that she is. Someone who sleeps with other men to get my husband jealouse and he falls for it. Do you know he would never have something to do with someone like her before all this... Its funny I called all this before it all started. I think we woman know about woman like that and know the outcome. They are bad news...Anyways... I have been enjoying myself and stating to really love me again. And know hell I have to pick of the litter if I wanted to be with someone else. but I wont till he makes a another move. Is it worth standing? Yes but not to the cost of losing who you are.

[mercury]

faithful with Love

I'm going to go with yes, it doesn't matter if they are home or not but we should get the big guns to verify.