[kie]

I've thought the same thing. The thought that "we ARE meant to be together" has come to me when I've been at my lowest, like a bright light warming me from within, it feels strong, true and comforting.

Then I wonder whether I'm really in denial.

Mermaid, you described what I am feeling regularly. I wonder too if I am maybe delusional but on the other hand it gives me a good feeling that day and with that feeling I survive another day time and time again. I sense also a bright light warming feeling..
If in the end my feelings were wrong and he never wakes up then the bright light warming feeling at least has given me good days or otherwise I would be depressed that day.
What I am starting to miss very much is a warm body and strong arms after almost two years.. but it's good reading that I am not the only one who is feeling this way.

[MarkedandHealed]

I still love H and don't want bad things for him. Guess what? I didn't die when he left, my life is happier than his. When he comes back he will know to treat me like a wife and with respect, because he taught me that I can make it on my own. Thanks Honey!!!!

Kudos and here-here!!!

I totally agree with this sentiment.

They think they're happy, and maybe by definition - thinking of happiness as a chemical reaction within our brains - they are. By the strictest definition of the word, I mean.

However, you all know what I mean. They're just different. Some are haggard, some are pushing away their friends and family, stopping life long hobbies, getting ill, running ragged trying to seek out that happiness, drinking tons, running from life in general.

I was thinking of starting a prayer chain for these men, maybe it's time for that to happen also.

[LIVINSTRONG]

prayer chain  is good... I pray for my H sometimes and I actually said a prayer for OW once.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I really believe it is my faith that allows me to continue. I am using this time to build a strong relationship with my daughters and to learn to love unconditionally. I give to my wife and expect nothing back. One day, she will realize that I stood not only for myself, but for her as well. Many nights, frustration sets in like a low grade fever and it penetrates my soul. It is on those nights, I pull out the laptop and read threads and reestablish my hope. This forum is the antibiotic for dispair. Without, I would be facing divorce because my pride would have demanded it. Instead, I am standing because I hate divorce and I know my God hates it just as much as I do.

[Mermaid]

Wonderfully put, fix.

Many nights, frustration sets in like a low grade fever and it penetrates my soul.

This forum is the antibiotic for dispair.

[rdy2livagn]

I stand because when I said those vows I meant them.

I stand because God hates divorce.

I stand because the day I remarried my H my childrens dream came true.

I stand because I want to be loved enough that if the shoe was on the other foot I would want H to stand for me.

I struggle with continuing to stand because sometimes I believe him when he spews at me.

[Voyager]

Hi,
Some of you may have read my recent stuff about the course of action I am going to take.
Despite probably ending any hopes of our reuniting by doing it, I am still standing.
I'm having to seperate out how I deal with my H's and OW's behaviour and what I still feel and want about our M.

So I'm having to draw a line despite the risk, because the journey is also about myself and how I live with me and finally realising I have to do what feels right for me.

By trying to keep the door open for a return I believe I have compromised too much of myself along the way, it's a fine line between changing and willingness to change, compromise and submission and remaining true to who you are.

Seems like there's more than one tightrope to walk as an LBS.
Don't know how to walk that line yet, not sure I ever will, but I'm trying to do that and still have belief in the possibility of a new and redemptive R with him.
No wonder I get dizzy sometimes!!

[MarkedandHealed]

I thought I'd start a discussion based on RCR's latest newsletter.

I'm not sure how many of you use positive affirmations daily, but I find them incredibly helpful.

Something about getting focused and getting intentional just sets me on the right path.

One thing (Aside from it being MLC) that is different between my H's first A and this one, I set goals last time, and used positive affirmations, and I instantly saw results.

Same thing with my career, school, etc.

Setting goals puts a positive, reachable objective in your head, and positive affirmations help you reach it.

Who knows how they work, they just do. They work for anything from putting you in a anxious mood into a confident mood, from sad to joyful, all the way to helping you achieve long term, very difficult goals.

And let's face it, most of us have very hard, long term goals in mind now (the restoration of our marriages and return to sanity of our MLCers)...

I'm listening to a Tony Robbins podcast today. Don't laugh, the guy may be a joke in some circles, but he is honestly amazing. In fact, I always joked about him because he's on those late night paid commercials. However, I happened across a Christian podcast by a woman who's a life coach and I tell you, she posted this Tony Robbins goal setting CD and it's already changing my outlook. In any case, if anyone is interested in hearing it, it's BTR Sai Browne and the episode is "Goal Setting Lesson with Tony Robbins."

My point is that after today, I will have specific, measurable goals set and from there will develop positive affirmations around it. This is something I am taking very seriously, listening to the podcast, setting down with pen and paper, brainstorming, rewriting, perfecting, and then sleeping on it and rewriting again. It needs to be perfect because from this session, I plan on building the rest of my incredible life.

I'm very serious about this guys, if you want to see results, let's all post our goals and affirmations and help each other with them.

And no, your affirmations should not include your H/W right now. Start with you. LOL

[Still]

Great post, M&H.

Tony Robbins a joke......isn't his show the reason we are all voting for RCR's story?

[LifeGoesOn]

Sometimes, my biggest difficulty in using affirmations is the doubt clouding it. In order to get over a hump, I phrase the affirmation, "I am in the process of...". This I could believe and it would carry me into the full affirmation.

Just a tip FWIW.

M&H, congrats on your focus!!!!