Skip to main content
Pages: 1 ... 10 11 [12] 13 14 ... 16  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer No Contact III

  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 24016
  • Gender: Female
Interacting with Your MLCer Re: No Contact III
#110: December 10, 2017, 02:35:11 PM
I think it hinges on whether you want to reconcile or not.

If you do you will need contact eventually.

If you do not want to reconcile, and you're done..NC as long as you want. :)
  • Logged
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 5670
Re: No Contact III
#111: December 10, 2017, 02:49:35 PM
Yea that would work. Well at least I know that I'm good at NC if I go that route since I have plenty of experience. Good point. :)
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#112: December 10, 2017, 06:36:21 PM
In my case no there will be no reconciliation reconnection etc with the ex. So NC will continue indefinitely.
In cases where these LBS' s have tolerated as much as they possibly can take they need time to heal and focus on themselves.
IMHO that cannot be done in most of these cases without some period of not dealing with them.
Many of these relationships have become toxic..lack honest communication and border on or are verbally mentally and emotionally abusive.

We all need time to deal with our own issues. Especially why we would think we would deserve being treated they way we are being treated.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *
  • Mentor
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 24016
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#113: December 10, 2017, 07:52:08 PM
InIt,

I agree 100% with you.

Once there is physical violence involved..there is no going back. Ever!
We need to respect ourselves more than that.
  • Logged
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#114: February 19, 2018, 01:03:07 PM
Bump
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 644
  • Gender: Female
  • What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!!
Re: No Contact III
#115: February 19, 2018, 03:16:50 PM
Thank you in it. I needed to read this.
  • Logged
M 40
H 41
He moved out May 21,2017
Ow 41( his 1st cousin) moved her in May 23, 2017, she went back to her husband Oct 2017
Ow moved back with her 2 kids Jan 1 2018 even with courts cutting his visitation with his kids because of it
Ow moved out again Dec 2019 and is back with her husband Jan 2020
T-19 yr M-14 yrs
S14 & D88
BD  February 12 2017 & April 22 2017 (signs of MLC since 2015)
I filed for divorce June 2 2017 for protection- final hearing on our 20th anniversary (July 11,2018) divorce was final August 9, 2018

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8791.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8948.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9189.0
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10052.150
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#116: April 23, 2018, 06:16:50 AM
Go no contact and heal. :)
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#117: May 20, 2018, 07:50:00 PM
If you've tried everything else talking, listening, trying to logic and you still are left discouraged, lied too, monstered at when dealing eith them. Try going no contact.

Thats no phone calls, Skype,  texts, emails, letters, spending time in person. Zero no contact.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 292
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#118: May 21, 2018, 08:32:08 PM
Quote from: Thunder on December 10, 2017, 07:52:08 PM
InIt,

I agree 100% with you.

Once there is physical violence involved..there is no going back. Ever!
We need to respect ourselves more than that.
What do I do in my case, Thunder? He's going into a hell hole for 9 months. He believes that his friends will send him letters and care packages. I don't think they will.

I said that I would send an occasional update and a monthly care package... Should I do that still? If not, how do I back out of it gracefully?
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact III
#119: May 22, 2018, 03:39:29 AM
You just don't do it..no need to address it.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
Pages: 1 ... 10 11 [12] 13 14 ... 16  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.