[Albatross]

LBS stages are same as MLC stages, only difference is that LBS could go trough MLT but also can hit own MLC.

[Silver]

LBS stages are same as MLC stages, only difference is that LBS could go trough MLT but also can hit own MLC.

I would love to hear a clarification for this? How do you see LBS & MLC stages same? How do replay correlates to what LBSs are going trough? And how MLT is part of LBS process? I am not saying they don't/are not, just don't quite get this and it is a very interesting subject. 

[Albatross]

I would love to hear a clarification for this? How do you see LBS & MLC stages same? How do replay correlates to what LBSs are going trough? And how MLT is part of LBS process? I am not saying they don't/are not, just don't quite get this and it is a very interesting subject. 

MLT is obligate for all people of our age. We follow same process of individuation as they do. Only difference between transition and crisis is that people in crisis refuse transition or cannot transform, in either way because of that they stuck and that means could not go forward wit life, means they remain in past, means depression and then regress in young age. In brief they escape and avoid transition which is imminent.

[Silver]

I would love to hear a clarification for this? How do you see LBS & MLC stages same? How do replay correlates to what LBSs are going trough? And how MLT is part of LBS process? I am not saying they don't/are not, just don't quite get this and it is a very interesting subject. 

MLT is obligate for all people of our age. We follow same process of individuation as they do. Only difference between transition and crisis is that people in crisis refuse transition or cannot transform, in either way because of that they stuck and that means could not go forward wit life, means they remain in past, means depression and then regress in young age. In brief they escape and avoid transition which is imminent.

Thanks! Very interesting. I have thought myself during last year if I am going trough some kind of ML process myself but it is hard to point that as LBS as you don't know what relates to LBS process and what doesn't. Anyway what I do know is I have changed myself, quite a lot in a year and feel I have change still going on, there are many aspects of it I have become aware of. Could it be as we are thrown in LBS role it actually triggers our own MLT?

How about me noticing I started to look other women, let's say in different way after I was BD:ed.. I thought it was all about I had to find out if I 'still have it' as my marriage was suddenly in danger and my life in limbo... That it was like I was trying to calm myself down with thinking that my W is not the only woman on earth and if she'll leave I would have other choices. To test if I was attractive or something...
That was my 'replay' Oh my now I don't understand anything anymore 

[Albatross]

Thanks! Very interesting. I have thought myself during last year if I am going trough some kind of ML process myself but it is hard to point that as LBS as you don't know what relates to LBS process and what doesn't. Anyway what I do know is I have changed myself, quite a lot in a year and feel I have change still going on, there are many aspects of it I have become aware of. Could it be as we are thrown in LBS role it actually triggers our own MLT?

How about me noticing I started to look other women, let's say in different way after I was BD:ed.. I thought it was all about I had to find out if I 'still have it' as my marriage was suddenly in danger and my life in limbo... That it was like I was trying to calm myself down with thinking that my W is not the only woman on earth and if she'll leave I would have other choices. To test if I was attractive or something...
That was my 'replay' Oh my now I don't understand anything anymore 

As You can see on beginning of topic you have those 5 stages of grief. Your life like was is dead, there is no return in past, you can only go forward, it is same for MLCer. Difference is that their MLC push us in same $h!te where they are. At beginning LBS have to GAL, in my opinion that wont work. Natural is that LBS going in depression, depression is not bad thing, it is necessary to introspect, grief, contemplate, seek for answers, find them, change self, find a peace, improve coping skills and then LBS become anxious to see how that would work, all of that is in spiral cycles upward, you think that you are in same place but you aren't, each cycle make you stronger and better.

About OW in beginning is normal, because your self esteem is shuttered, and you mimicking spouse, because you feel lost. Difference MLCer - LBS is that MLCer running away from self and refuse to change leaded by emotions, LBS wants to change self to make life successful and stable again. 

[waiting4]

I am definitely in  depression / bargaining /anger

[ChrissYAH]

Im def stuck in anger and I hate it.

[LiveIwillDo]

My sadness comes in waves.. I do my best to feel it n release it... I am no longer in denial... Ive accepted the fact that stbx in a relationship with MOW . Hurts still.. Forces me Me to deal with the rejection(from my own crap too) the anger is the ugliest😨 i have begun to hear myself say nasty things about H nd i can stop myself.. That in its self is huge for me cause it was all about how bad he treated me.. Not soo much these days.. I am training myself to say... It didn't work out between us.. And its ok.. I am starting to write a new chapter in my life and it will be better than the last half😃

[Mortesbride]

I have been trying to google some LBS anger articles or whatever but only come across stuff for the MLC anger and dealing with that.

Anyone here have some useful stuff on the LBS anger?

[ChrissYAH]

That would be great, anger is something Im struggling with, I would like to get to the point where he has zero effect on me, its been 3 1/2 yrs he married the ow and i have no interest in ever seeing him again.