[Not Applicable]

Another quick test you could perform yourself is to use sarcasm, metaphor or proverbs. As I mentioned in another post, these are tests researchers actually use.

And that's precisely why your diagnosis of all our spouses falls flat in my H's case. Because he DEFINITELY gets metaphor. At one point he found a diary I had been keeping a year ago and pressured me to read it to him. I described feeling like I was in a small boat being tossed around in a hurricane. He said, "You are a great writer" and agreed with the assessment. He went on to describe his own behavior at work that demonstrated how he definitely WAS acting like a hurricane toward the people working for him. I mean if he can not only understand the metaphor but then describe his own behavior in keeping with that metaphor, I really don't think he has any issues in that department.

[Silver]

Chriss:

I agree with you. Your husband is unwell. But his new life is not a new beginning. It will be the death of him.

WTF?!?! How can you say that? Do you understand what you are causing here?
No one has right to make that statement over internet.
I am very sorry for what happened to you, I really am but you need to stop making these kind of statements, please.

[Mitzpah]

Chriss:

I agree with you. Your husband is unwell. But his new life is not a new beginning. It will be the death of him.

Love and strength to all of us.

That is a very unwise statement, possibly even criminal.

Please refrain from giving a prognosis over the internet like that. You CANNOT know if our spouses have FTD.

I am really sorry that your h. has been diagnosed with this disease, however, that does not make all our spouses sick.

As for facial smirks/grimaces (tics) - this is a manner in which people sometimes express an emotion that they cannot decode themselves/cope with, very common in small children who lack the maturity to interpret/cope with what they are feeling. In situations of internal turmoil, why can't adults resort to immature reactions? I am sure many can relate to this - it is not a sign of mental disease. Just something elese to throw in the mix

[Songanddance]

As for facial smirks/grimaces (tics) - this is a manner in which people sometimes express an emotion that they cannot decode themselves/cope with, very common in small children who lack the maturity to interpret/cope with what they are feeling. In situations of internal turmoil, why can't adults resort to immature reactions? I am sure many can relate to this - it is not a sign of mental disease.

My H when in monster and OW mode would smirk all the time. It would happen when he told me about how lovely and talented OW was, how she appreciated him - how she did this and that?  It would happen when he attempted to score points. Until BD I had never seen H smirk this way, I had never seen him be so superior and nasty. 
4.5 years on - he is fit and well , no signs of FTD or any other form of mental illness and no smirks at all.

BvFTD - please consider what you are saying.  What makes you think it is ok to make such comments such as you did to ChrissY?  Please consider how many of the posters on here are hurting, frightened and bewildered. Where is your compassion? 

[Velika]

Chriss:

I agree with you. Your husband is unwell. But his new life is not a new beginning. It will be the death of him.

"
WTF?!?! How can you say that? Do you understand what you are causing here?
No one has right to make that statement over internet.
I am very sorry for what happened to you, I really am but you need to stop making these kind of statements, please.

You'll be the death of me" is an idiomatic expression. It is used hyperbolically, i.e. a mom might say to her wild teenager daughter who frightens her by coming home late yet again: "You'll be the death of me!"

bv did not say to Chris, "Your husband is going to die." She is saying to her, his new life is not going to bode well for him. (Ie he has chosen a very destructive path that won't end well -- a prediction often made on this site.)

That being said, many MLCers choose behaviors that likely do shorten their lives, and I'm sure that some commit suicide or become suicidal if they recover and realize the damage. I met someone last year, an older man, and told him what had happened to my FH. He told me that he has known two men who had done this, and one committed suicide.

What our spouses have done is extremely tragic, and very sad. If we see their behaviors in a larger context -- whether as a pattern of behavior or in possible medical explanations -- it can help us detach to protect our emotions and also make good decisions for ourselves based on the reality of their new limitations.

[ChrissYAH]

Thats how I read it Velika, I think that if he does ever wake up it will chew at him for the rest of his life.

[OldPilot]

Not to change the subject but I am curious what method is used to diagonse this disease?

Also in a previous thread something was mentioned about PSP (progressive supernuclear palsey)
which perhaps was the thing my father died from, although the doctor said the only way to know for sure was to bioposy his brain after death, which was not done so I will never know.
Anyways I may know a lot about whatever disease my father had.

[Not Applicable]

Thats how I read it Velika, I think that if he does ever wake up it will chew at him for the rest of his life.

But bvFTD believes your husband has bvFTD, and if it is that case, he will not wake up and instead will literally die. Although that would have nothing to do with his leaving you or getting married to another woman. It would just be his unavoidable fate.

In the end, he's another woman's husband now, not yours, and whatever the cause, it's her burden to deal with now.

[ChrissYAH]

Thats how I read it Velika, I think that if he does ever wake up it will chew at him for the rest of his life.

But bvFTD believes your husband has bvFTD, and if it is that case, he will not wake up and instead will literally die. Although that would have nothing to do with his leaving you or getting married to another woman. It would just be his unavoidable fate.

In the end, he's another woman's husband now, not yours, and whatever the cause, it's her burden to deal with now.

I have no idea what he has, all i know this is not 'HIM' my kids say that he is insane.

[Velika]

Not to change the subject but I am curious what method is used to diagonse this disease?

Also in a previous thread something was mentioned about PSP (progressive supernuclear palsey)
which perhaps was the thing my father died from, although the doctor said the only way to know for sure was to bioposy his brain after death, which was not done so I will never know.
Anyways I may know a lot about whatever disease my father had.

When I called UCSF I was told they do both a series of question-and-answer tests as well as scans to look for atrophy. A person can be diagnosed as possible bvFTD if they have the symptoms but no signs of atrophy. If you read about bvFTD, the diagnosis can only be conclusively determined following an autopsy.  There is a non-progressive version called bvFTD phenocopy.

The clinic told me that any diagnosis would attempt to rule out other possible causes first: i.e. strokes, tumor, psychiatric illness.

I have mentioned before, but I have read that over half the cases do not present typically. It can take two to three years just to get this diagnosis.