[forthetrees]

Mine also got dx´d with anxiety, took several meds, went cold turkey off of Lexapro, went back on Lexapro, went off again with an irregular taper, BD´d me with BD number one, agreed to see a psychiatrist who would only say, "It´s existential depression." Hmmm, maybe we´re onto something here.

[Mitzpah]

FTT,

agreed to see a psychiatrist who would only say, "It´s existential depression." Hmmm, maybe we´re onto something here.

That was what h.'s pyschiatrist said!!! Oh, and said for me to leave him alone as he needed to work through it himself - she actually sent the message through him

[With Gods Help!]

Hi My h stopped the meds not long later he dropped the bomb.........its a case of did the depression trigger the MLC or the MLC trigger the depression...........or was it the fact that he also stopped the meds abruptly........no reducing dose or anything ...... hmmmm .........h as restarted his 10 weeks ago maybe i should hide them when he calls or encourage him to stop them............he might dump o/w then lol........i will post a link to the forum i found relating to this when i can xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[brokenhearted]

The website you listed, the Storied Mind, was actually the site I was on prior to finding this site. I would read it all night, looking for answers to the changes I saw in my partner.  In the fall of 2010, I felt my partner had fallen into a deep depression.  I started reading everything I could on depression.  My partner suffered through the deaths of both his sisters, his mother, his father being traumatically injured in a car accident, in the trauma unit for 4 months, his own bypass surgery and two subsequent heart surgeries, being diagnosed with skin cancer (cancer killed his sisters), I needed a medical procedure, my dad broke his hip and later broke his neck, my brother went through 2 rounds of bypass surgery.  As you can see we were both stressed and he had withdrawn from me.

I found the site Storied  Mind.  I started printing out all the articles. I gave them to my partner to read.  I believe at one point before going to far into the tunnel, and prior to the ow, he saw himself in the articles.  He told me that he could see that i would think it was describing him.  but then he said, it isn't though.
I still think he was connecting some to the articles as he took them to his doctor.  His doctor told him he didn't think my partner was depressed.
when he told me this I said I was sad because I thought that was what was wrong (depression) and I had been hoping this was the answer.  He screamed at me not to have hope, that he was done, that he was never coming back.  He screamed the same thing at me a second time.  This from a kind, gentle man who had never raised his voice to me. He was a monster that day
.
Not sure of it was pressure to him, or whether he himself had held out some hope and now it was dashed for him also.
When the ow first came on the scene I had begged him to step back, that I still thought this was depression and that he would come out of it.  Supposedly he told her this, that I wanted him to wait , I believed he would come out of this.  Her answer was that although she of course did not really know him, she didn't think he was depressed.  They were off and running after that.

 My partner was also diagnosed with low testosterone, which was tricky to treat with all his heart medicines.  Now of course they have figured it out, so for he he can now perform, and seems happy whenever I have seen him.

I have always wondered if treating the low t could have brought him out of depression and now he has just moved on..I have to admit I think this because I pretty much have a vanisher and I have seen no changes in his decision to leave ow or his belief that the ow is a blessing from God!
He has never wavered from when he screamed at me he was never coming back.
The ow seems to have just stepped into his life replacing me, going to family and work functions.

Other times I think, how could he go through all this loss ,perhaps have issues from childhood, leave me, and just have moved on within 4 months or  maybe less than 4 months, depending when ow really came on the scene.

 I do recommend the Storied Mind site.  It is fascinating reading.

Sorry for any punctuation errors, still dealing with the broken arm .

[Anjae]

Thanks for the article, WGH. My husband has had a depression many years before MLC. He was treated among other med I don’t recall the substance, with fluoxite. Those meds drove him crazy. However it was a different crazy from pre-MLC and MLC crazy. He did wanted to leave and he was aware the meds were driving him mad.

On the months prior to his leave he had often told me he was depressed. He took no meds, we went crazy. He also told me, in 2008, that he remained depressed. I would guess he is still depressed. And I would also guess that he fears takes meds because of the way he felt the other time he was depressed.

[Buggy31]

My H was put on Lexapro by his dr. brother ( I know bad idea) but everybody didn't know what to do and wanted him to stop his behavior.  My H had been on Clomazopan..an anti-amnisiaic apparently.  One prior to BD but at the beginning of MLC he took a Clomazopan on an empty stomach took a walk with our daughter came back to the house and couldn't remember anything.  The Clomazopan was prescribed by a dr.  who told him that he needed THERAPY and that this would help with the panic disorders but that H had to go to therapy.  He only took a few Lexapro right before BD and he acted REALLY strange the day he took it..then he just stopped.  I just through the bottle away a few weeks ago.  I think that we could go a million places with this but I do believe my H had issues with testosterone too..but maybe part of MLC..IDK...but I know he was searching for holstic cures like maca root.  Anyway..maybe these are just the meds drs.  throw at patients with MLC symptoms.  H has not been dealing with his depression for year.

HUGS
BUGS

[Chickpea]

I find this thread fascinating-  my h had be going to a psychotherapist for 8 mos. never telling me until I found antidepressants in his med cabinet.  When I questioned him- he said he was no longer taking them because they made him feel terrible.  All the while I was finding empty wine bottles hidden all over the house.  Now that's he has moved out - he announced that he is no longer depressed and doesn't drink anymore.  I guess it was all my fault...

[Trustandlove]

Chickpea, I got the same thing -- soon after he moved out he said that he didn't drink any more because that had been all my fault.  Well, he still drinks.  Sometimes not doing so for show, as far as I can tell, and I don't know if he goes to bars daily to self-medicate any more, but lots of alcohol still is consumed. 

[JAG]

Funny, I thought (and still think) my H was depressed. I told him that, showed him articles and he continuously denied it and said I don't fit the criteria (he was proud of that).  Then, when he went to a psychiatrist he came back with a report that he was not depressed (my H was all proud of that and flaunted that around) but that he had to figure out his life...you serious? The only thing that the doctor did get right (in a 15 minute visit) was that he is an anxious person...but then said....it is to be expected under the circumstance.  What this doctor didn't know is that my H is VERY anxious.  He is like a gerbil on a wheel running and running.  I was always his calm...I am so zen that when he was with me he could relax and I taught him to not be so impulsive with things.  He was doing much better...unfortunately, when we moved and he didn't like his new job, he started worrying about our second child coming into the world, his parents getting older, etc. etc., his anxiety shut up and, as we all know, during generalized anxiety to simply have a need to run and keep running....I don't know if my H is ever coming back to his senses.  He has left me and the kids almost exactly 2 months ago and he has not looked back....just cut me out cold turkey and only shows up once a week to see the kids (never asking how they are, if he can have pictures of them, or what he can do to help support them).  If he claims it is not my fault and I did nothing...why be so hateful and cold and indifferent? So frustrating! If my H never gets help for his anxiety/depression, can someone just snap out of it one day? He does not believe in meds or psychologists...

[WarriorSprit]

My w started having sever depression when we got our first home and she was 30. For 15 years there was not a lot of deep emotions of love for me or our children. I hear my grown children talk about her at times but mostly they hide it from me as they know I don't like them talking about there mom. They say things like she is unable to love and they think she hates them , but at the same time they all try to get her love. I think my w likes having the power over them. I always wondered if the house had something to do with it as she had a bad childhood and our home looks a lot like the one she grew up in.

My w depression was so bad that for years she could not leave the house. I would go to work and she would be sitting in the kitchen and I would come back after work to find her sitting in the same place and not anything all day. I love her so much when she is herself but at times it is hard to find that person. She quit the meds on her own in 2004 and she seemed to get better and all of the sudden we where able to go places and do things together and it was fun and romanic all over again , then one day she came to me in 2006 and said she had been to the doctor and they want her to back on the meds I told her what I had been seeing which was depression again and I agreed with the doctor , she got mad and told me that I wanted her on meds so I can control her. I just wanted to stop the agrument so I dropped it.

2010 was the year of bomb drop and man did I see depression and anger. She needs help still but I don't think she will ever do anything about it. At times I have been afraid that she would kill herself but now I don't think she ever will but she rather treat the people she loves like S??T. Depression is a terrible for those who live it and for those who love them.

edited for carriage returns (MF)