[New Day Rising]

OW is pregnant.

Of course she is, New Day......

It's extraordinary really how many of these disordered folks are textbook predictable once we stop sobbing our guts out at the horror of it all. Shiny new house/wedding kibbles worn off? Have a baby....control and attention in a 2 for 1 
There is something quite repulsive about any woman who would knowingly have an affair with a man whose wife is pregnant imho....I trust that the universe will send her horrible stretch marks, haemorrhoids and bad pregnancy skin 

I suspect that, much as none of us wish harm to a new young innocent life, your xh and owife are about to see the karma bus show up. Iirc your xh does not much like not being the only needy child in the house getting attention  He isn't much of a father to his two existing children; he won't magically be a better one to a third....owife is going to have to dance hard and tighten the leash more I suspect  .....but hey, reminds me of that phrase about being careful what you wish for in case you get it so not much sympathy from me....
And playing occasional 'family' with borrowed children is rather different from f/t parenthood so owife's life is going to get rather tougher.

None of which, as you say, is your circus. It might feel like a mini BD so by all means let yourself have a few moments (and explain to your son that we are all entitled to our feelings and that being kind costs little...ah, tweens  ) but I know you know that is normal and reasonable. And that the course his life takes now may be a looming s$itshow but not your s$itshow until/unless it affects how he treats your kids. Who knows, if you're lucky, your xh may fade quietly into the chaos of his own life?. (As someone with a vanisher, I must admit I now see tremendous benefits  ....and I suspect em agrees, being able to take the money with a shrug )

Thank you Treasur - You summed what others have been telling me so eloquently. I know logically that this is the case, but I still have the old monkey braining going on that I wasn't good enough and I feel so damned sorry for my daughter that as she gets older she will feel like she wasn't good enough as dad didn't stick around, but was happy to build a new family with someone else.

Again, I know logically that this man just wasn't mentally stable, but nevertheless it hurts. I don't ever want him back, but I just wonder if he knows how hurtful this has all been or if he even cares? It's crazy making and I'm surprised I haven't ended up being committed. People tell me I'm such a strong person. I just think I've been very stupid and naive to choose this man to be the father of my 2 very gorgeous kids. I wouldn't be without them. I just wish I'd have chosen better to give my kids the best start in life.

Sachat - Thank you for the quote. It is so true!

Em - Thank you too for your kind words and sorry for hijacking your thread. I should really have created my own. I just rarely post much on here these days, but needed to vent x

Careful what you wish for indeed!

[em5731]

No problem at all new day. I don’t want mine back either but I’m sure it still stings. Hang in there.

[em5731]

Journaling.

My daughter called today to tell me they are worried about her father (ex husband). He is very depressed I guess it’s not that easy to throw your family away and pretend it didn’t happen. I do feel for him in away. Mostly I pitty him . He is probably we’re I was 5 years ago. He was a very sensitive man. He did cry sometimes when we were married if he felt bad about things. I believe karma has arrived.

[KeepItTogether]

Karma yes. And certainly when the depression hits, it hits hard.

My H was always a crier too. And now is even more so. I mean, wouldn't you  think these people might want to actually get some psychological help?  How long must one feel so horrible before they realize that maybe it is something INSIDE, and not the horrible, evil LBS.

[Zion]

Em,

Was this from your estranged daughter? If so, that is great that she reached out to you for support and guidance.

[em5731]

kit

I dont know if he is a crier now. How could be. I don't know how is lives with him self. He is still blaming me for somethings.Not to my face. i just hear this from my daughter. I wanted him to suffer, but I do feel bad for him. He is probably were I was 5 years ago. But he does deserve every bad feeling that comes his way. I am buying the house off of him, maybe that has something to do with it.

[em5731]

Zion

I have 3 daughters, the one that isn't speaking to me, isn't he one that told me. but she did speak to me the other day when she seen me at the store. I did invite her over for dinner, she is supposed to text me about coming over, so we will see. 

[Milly]

Em, sorry your H is not well. Even though we don't have much sympathy for our MLCers since they caused the anguish they feel themselves, it's not pleasant when someone we cared for is not doing well. I find it interesting that your D felt worried enough to mention it to you. Perhaps he is reaching the end stage of Replay. Hopefully, he doesn't find a reason to jump right back into Replay to make himself feel better.

I'm so happy for you that your D who doesn't talk to you seems to be open to coming to you for dinner. I really hope she does, for both of you. My oldest D is not talking to me.

[em5731]

Hi Milly

He could be reaching the end of replay. Ow is still there, I guess he can't stand her, but he doesn't have the balls to get rid of her. I have been talking a little to my older daughters. I still don't trust them. I am doing fine without him. I think I am finally where I want to be. I just got a new job making more money. I am buying the house off of him. Just waiting to close.

[KeepItTogether]

Boy can I relate! My H too has an extremely volatile relationship with his ow. But like yours, doesn’t have the strength to leave her for good.
Congrats on the job and the house! Sometimes I feel like these guys really held us back bc we were busy taking care of them for so long.  You are killin it my friend. Yay you!