[megogirl]

RCR

How did you answer that question?

It’s annoying, and so hard to explain....!

[MyBrainIsBroken]

Quoting NYM's earlier post:

So if I have no concept of your MLC (after 12 threads of you talking about it!?!) or your XH, how is it that YOU have a concept of others' MLC that you can answer their questions with such certainty? Do you have psychic powers?

I let this pass but I've decided to address it since it's been brought up again.

Let me change this to a question about a hypothetical situation.

So if I have no concept of what it was like for you to be kidnapped and held captive by the Taliban for 4 years (after reading a 20 page article that you wrote about it), how is it that YOU have a concept of what it's like for others who have been kidnapped and held captive by the Taliban that you can answer questions about it with such certainty? Do you have psychic powers?

I'm sorry if my hypothetical situation offends anyone but I hope it helps to point out how ludicrous it is to assume that reading 12 threads containing a handful of posts written by a person who lived through an MLC would provide the reader with more than just a very superficial understanding of what it was like.

While you were reading Sis's threads, could you feel the confusion, the anger, the fear, the relief, the sorrow, the giddiness, the shame, the emptiness, and everything else that she felt and experienced. Not understand it but actually feel it?

Once you have lived through it, you don't need psychic powers to feel what it's like for another person who is going through it. Until you have lived through it, you can't even begin to imagine what it's really like.

IMHO as a fellow traveler.

A question for all of the LBSes. Do you feel that your experience as an LBS has made it possible for you to understand what it feels like for other LBSes? Do you think the people you know in RL who haven't had the experience of being an LBS know how it feels for you? If you were to let those people read a few of the threads you have written do you think that would be enough for them to feel what you've felt?

[Treasur]

RCR, I'm sorry but I disagree with you on the point I think you are making.
That the tone of NYM's question is a distraction but that the valid question is worth asking. And that the question NYM is asking is something like Why do You think your experience is a general prediction of others experience, Shock Sis?

I disagree bc asking the question is founded on the basis that this is what ShockSis is doing.
That she is saying this happened to me like this so this is what is happening to your spouse.
Hence NYM's tone and the accusation of thinking she has psychic powers.

And this is simply not what I see ShockSis doing.

She is being asked about HER experience and responds by talking about HER experience. I don't recall one example of when she has said that her answers are about anything more than that. So it feels rather like one of those 'when did you stop beating your wife' kind of questions...MBIB and myself have asked NYM to give examples. So far she has not. ShockSis has responded politely and respectfully asked NYM to stop beating the same drum.

It really seems quite unfair to ask someone questions then put words into their mouth, and then ask them to account for them and defend themselves about things they did not say and claims they do not make. Almost nonsensical actually. And respectfully it has a whiff of MLC like logic about it which is rather unpleasant to see and all too familiar to many LBS, so I am disappointed to see your post.

And I rather like Brain's take on it and his Taliban example....

[3Boys4Me]

What I find unreasonable is NYM attributes behaviors to ShockSis she doesn’t demonstrate. She accuses Shock Sis of both minor and major transgressions relative to providing LBS information, and she does it in a way that is bitter and belittling (what are you psychic?? ... my answer? Who knows, maybe she’s quite intuitive - wouldn’t be the first person who can read people’s energy and intentions.) Shock Sis answers questions from her perspective, she does not make predictions as to how any particular situation might end and she typically is careful to remind everyone she is speaking only from her own experience.

I personally don’t think it is reasonable or helpful to put up with this kind of bullying behavior by anyone.  I love a good debate, I think differing opinions are helpful and necessary, I am not opposed to a 2x4 delivered out of compassion and good intention. But the condescension and bullying, it’s unnecessary and harmful, and I believe RCR is off base on this one.

[Shockandawe]

RCR

I am not qualified in the answers to everyone else’s MLC and I have never professed as much. I have repeatedly said my experience is my own but if it helps in anyway to get across the mindset and actions of someone who has travelled through MLC then that is what I am trying to do. The fact MLC is as prolific as it seems to be and that although different in each case the similarities are startling. If I can demystify any part of it then I will do so.
Not once have I ever said because I did this then your MLCer will do the same.
I am not and have never held psychic abilities.
What I am is a person who entered MLC, lived it for 4 plus years and came through the other side. I don’t enter into the “debates “ that go on, I choose not to as they become confrontational.
I don’t understand why someone thinks they know me because of the number of threads written on a subject that ran for such a long time that it is simply not possible to fit into 12 threads is somewhat blasé in my opinion.
I will continue to answer to the best of my ability until I am told otherwise.

Shocks sis recovered MLCer

[MyBrainIsBroken]

I appreciate Treasur's clarification. I'm afraid I really didn't understand the point of RCR's post and I don't seem to be the only one since I received a PM from another member questioning RCR's point. I believe the point I made, that Sis is capable of understanding what it's like for somebody going through an MLC because she experienced one herself, is valid but unnecessary because I agree with Treasur's point that Sis has never tried to use her understanding of MLC to explain anyone else's MLC but rather to describe her personal experience. This whole conversation has been almost as confusing as MLC itself.

[Shockandawe]

I agree Treasur and Brain

[Treasur]

This whole conversation has been almost as confusing as MLC itself.

And if it quacks like a duck.....

[megogirl]

Yes, Brain

I was confused too

-mego

[Milly]

I agree with what Treasur said. I'm a little surprised that RCR felt the need to enter this discussion in what feels a little provocative. I, like many others, are enjoying everything that Shock Sis is sharing with us. I certainly don't need to defend Shock Sis, she is clearly well capable of taking care of herself and she does so in a gracious way.  If someone doesn't believe her, just don't follow her thread.