[Pacman]

Just remembered another couple.
I still want to be friends.
I'm broken.
I'm lost.
We can live together as friends.

And of course "I didn't ask for this to happen, it just did."
"and why aren't people talking to me"

[KellBell]

I'm lost
It's time I focused on me
I want a fresh start/clean slate
We've grown apart
ILBINILWY and I'm not even sure what love is
I'm exhausted
You never loved me
you were so unhappy with our life together


ughhh...blah blah blah. so many things. The one that has me scratching my head the most right now is that the most recent reason for him leaving is that I pushed him away and didn't let him parent. He said "You didn't let me parent my way or show tough love. You took over and did it all yourself." and in the same breath say "Our kids are amazing and wonderful and talented and such great people- you are a stellar mom." smh. ok.

[Songanddance]

Bumped up!

Lots of newbies on the forum and here's a reminder of the current thread on the script that MLCers say.  You will see how much the MLCers sound the same and also how bonkers their reasons are.........

Here's the first thread with this title.
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10840.0;all

[Dragonfly33]

Funny that they want to stay friends after the disaster they just created. I remember my H told me, whatever happens to us, meaning if we divorce, he wants us to stay friends. I told him, I will not be friends with him and I will erase him from my life as if he never existed. He said, he's sad that felt that way. Really WTF.

[Biscuit]

Friends do not kick each other in the nuts and then tell them it's their fault that they got kicked.

[MomOfSteel]

You will always be a good part of my life
I felt like I had to marry you
Kids are resilient
I know I might regret it
I want the chance at something better
I know the affair is unlikely to last
I don’t even know what I want
I’m so confused
She and I have so much more in common
I didn’t abandon the kids

[Curiosity]

Yes, this was something I experienced too… my W saw me as her best friend even when she was seeking to date and pursue the emotional affair. She seemed stunned that I wasn’t sure whether I could be a friend to her - she seemed completely unaware of how deeply she had betrayed my trust. She has since apologized and is not repeating those harmful patterns - but even so, I’m not sure she really knows the depth of pain and betrayal I felt. And W has come a long way since the worst of her crisis (which was less severe than many, I think).

All that is to say… it is truly stunning how they cling to us like a lifeline sometimes - even when they’re running away, they are claiming us as friends. Just keep being true to yourself and your boundaries.

[titleholder]

I don't know who I am, why I'm here and why do I have a child?!
I don't even know who I am in house; do I put on the washingmachine for me or do I do this for you?
Why isn't anybody proud of me and the fact that I'm walking my own path?
Now that I have my own appartment it feels scary and real.
Having my own appartment feels defenite but it doesn't have to feel definite.
I can cancel the lease on my appartement in a couple of months (he isn't even starting to live there)

[Dragonfly33]

Yes, this was something I experienced too… my W saw me as her best friend even when she was seeking to date and pursue the emotional affair. She seemed stunned that I wasn’t sure whether I could be a friend to her - she seemed completely unaware of how deeply she had betrayed my trust. She has since apologized and is not repeating those harmful patterns - but even so, I’m not sure she really knows the depth of pain and betrayal I felt. And W has come a long way since the worst of her crisis (which was less severe than many, I think).

All that is to say… it is truly stunning how they cling to us like a lifeline sometimes - even when they’re running away, they are claiming us as friends. Just keep being true to yourself and your boundaries.

This is called the greatest manipulation I guess. The will always try to manipulate your emotions to keep you in a confused state while they do what they do. When I found out about my H’s 3 night escapade he even had the balls to accuse me that I was the one betraying him because I had to lie that I spoke to his OW to catch him cheating. That’s why the vets always said here not to take them personally. This is really true. If we take them personally, although it’s hard not to, we will just go nuts and have self pity, start blaming ourselves. I know how it is because I took every accusation of my h personally and I thought I must have been really a bad wife. I didn’t do enough to make me happy. After three years, I realize WTF, that’s when you’re out of the h-man made fog that was always above your head. Now, there are still days where I go back to the questioning myself what I have done wrong  state but I don’t stay long anymore. I am willing to let him go now. I hope the newbies will realize this sooner than later. It saves us from mental firetruckery.

[Biscuit]

I haven't loved you for last few months / 1 year / 5 years / 10 years
I didn't want to go out with you 17 years ago and I don't want to now
The kids are resilient - they'll be fine
You control everything I and the children do
You try and control my mind
You're gaslighting me about our relationship - it was bloody awful
We never had fun
I don't fancy you
You don't work out enough