[marvin4242]

My W had said something similar. For the first few months after BD, she kept saying "I cant believe you dont even know me".  Ya, youre right - the woman I know isn't a cheater and bratty kid LOL

She said she doesn't know me (Um, okay?), and that we are two completely different people because now she eats Free Range eggs LOL

Well, sadly these kinds of statements make sense in a way. They are fractured, they are reverting to some subset of themselves, probably from a time when they are kids or teenagers. These are periods of narcissism, self absorption, "brattiness" and the things we observe.

When I thought about it how can my wife, who is like a young teenage, in any way relate to or understand/be understood by a 50 year old man?

[Shockandawe]

A couple more.

Imagine we are in a war where I have to go and you have to stay but there are no phones! WTF!
I have always been a loner ( yeah right, you have never been on your own).
I feel numb, I have no feelings at all. ( I think this is true).
You’re just going to have to ride the wave.
I think I’m having a midlife crisis!!! (he actually said that )
My heart knows I love you but my head doesn’t agree!
I have to do this.
Ow and I are going to have a great life together and you’re just going to have to get used to it.
I felt used.
I have no good memories . A while later, cherish as I do the good times.
My mother doesn’t condemn you completely!

I will try to think of some more. The similarities of what they say is mind blowing, it’s the script alright which is why we as LBSes should pay no mind to the collective bs they churn out. You will know the truth when you hear it.
Stay on your own track and leave your crazy to it.

God bless you all

[Puzzled]

xH (H at the time) was wondering aloud whether our marriage (we were married in the US) would count as marriage in England "because a university degree in one country is not necessarily recognized in another country, either" when I pointed out that him dating women would be cheating.

Before BD1, at age 48, then H told me his life priorities:
1. Play guitar
2. Be a dad
3. F%$k (not a word we used)
Now, at age 55, he is still true to these priorities. #2, however, is a given -- he will always be a dad; whether he will be a role model of a dad is a different queestion.

The first song he recorded and posted on youtube (unbeknownst to me) was of him playing the guitar in our family living room and singing a cover version of "50 ways to leave your lover".

He filed for divorce without telling me although he would have had ample opportunity to do so. When I let him know that the letter from the court had arrived, he seemed astonished that it had arrived already. He asked me to send him a photo of it, which I refused (I am not his secretary). He even tried through D10 (at that time) to get more information. When this was not sucessful, either, he said that if I won't send him a photo, he will need to assume that I was making up the letter. 

"I love my mom. My mom loves me. She is so lovely. She even sends me poems. (...) I do not love you." (his mom left her four children and started living in an "adult only" community; xH finds it challenging to spend more than an afternoon with his mom -- she is very talkative without acknowledging what others say. xH also did not bother visiting her on her 8oth birthday),

I heard "I haven't loved you" a LOT with xH moving the point in time of since when he hadn't loved me earlier and earlier, all the way to "before we got married".

[Marchingforward]

After our first touch n go:
H: "I didn't want to make this about money, but I bought that kayak for you to see if we have a future and we don't."
(I started kayaking after our separation. He saw pics of me on social media, bought himself a kayak, and started kayaking as well. I was searching for a kayak when we started what I found out to be a T & G and he offered to buy me a kayak)

H: "Camping with someone is hard. You have to be on the same page. I'm so glad that we have our camping routine together. I wouldn't want to camp with anyone else. " A few days later "We can't even camp together. You and I want different things when we camp." 

H: "We have nothing at all in common. " (Things we do together: backpack, camp, sing, learn new languages, kayak, canoe, hike, shoot traditional long bows, ride horses, go on motorcycle trips, woodworking, watch the same types of movies and tv shows, read the same types of books, antique, flea market, experiment with new foods, yep,....nothing in common at all).

H: "You don't support me or care about my work." (HAHA.. I traveled with him to trade shows to help, ask him about his day working, Help him with his open houses, etc).

Just thought of these this morning. It's all very crazy and so script.

[Pacman]

ILYBNILWY   (of course)
I don't know who I am.
Kissing him felt normal.
I just want to be happy.
Toughest decision I ever made.
If you take the car away how am I going to get to work?
It's too late.
I can talk to whoever I want.
He is just a friend.   (yeah right)
What if you don't trust me?

[Pacman]

Just remembered another couple.
I still want to be friends.
I'm broken.
I'm lost.
We can live together as friends.

[Dragonfly33]

Mine were:
I don’t love you anymore.
I don’t have butterflies in my stomach anymore.
I feel empty ( this might be true)
I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.
You prohibited me from doing sports ( I was always his cheerer when he joined cross country marathon.  He quit his football club though I encouraged him to do it. )
We have nothing in common.
You walk like an elephant. Mind you I was only 48 kg at that time.
You don’t change my towels when you wash them.
I want to have a private life. I want to talk to women .
You cannot see what we‘re talking about because what if it’s about you.
You manipulated me psychologically.
I want to find happiness ( this is definitely true)
We are like the couple in the movie Hancock. The closeR they are together the weaker they become.
I am meant to be alone. I‘m like a wolf.
We can always be friends.

[MadLuv]

I just need to be by myself ( had OW)
I’m broken and I dont see me getting better
I look in the mirror and I dont know who I am
I’m not going to live much longer
I see a future with you in it, but not with us together
Im just trying to survive
I’ve never been anything. I just hid behind you
I never felt I satisfied you ( sex)
It’s not you, it’s me. You’re perfect
I want you to be happy
I dont want to do this, but if I dont I wont survive

[Dragonfly33]

Tornup i still get the “I want you to be happy” up to this day.

[Pacman]

Tornup i still get the “I want you to be happy” up to this day.

Massive deflection IMO.