[in it]

I understand this about the ex.

 Here's the thing:

 Right out of his own mouth he said about his life

 " I CHOOSE to focus on the good"

 So I'm asking anybody... how's that working out for him now that he has blown his own family entirely out of the water?

Is he doing what he either wanted to do or tried to do with the one he played the role of the "son" in? 

He's LYING to himself!!!

 It wasn't all Ozzie and Harriet and he simply REFUSES to acknowledge it, I have told him before I understood the humiliation etc he experienced at the hands of his father ( who is now dead)  BUT me understanding it doesn't solve the problem. I have a real suspicion there's a lot more that happened to him that he never told me.

MY compassion and understanding doesn't solve this problem; it confused the issue for him.

 He could not understand how in the hell he could do what he did divorcing me taking up with someone who's moral character and motives couldn't be trusted.

 And after that I'd want anything to do with him. Well he pushed the envelope this time.

 I don't ever want anything to do with him because he simply does not know what the right thing to do is.
You don't put your hands on someone in anger.

I am still the one to blame somehow. I'm simply tired of being the doormat and the scapegoat and I'm the one who understands the situation.

I had a horrible childhood also but I came to terms with it a LONG time ago. What keeps them from coming to terms with theirs?

In my case? It's all about control for him that's for sure. Fear of intimacy and simply the need for perfection.

And I don't think he will ever resolve this through his mother.

[bellagio88]

My last day of moving - yesterday was a hell zone -  will write more abhout that later
I just got an email from WAP 5 mins agop - in prep for the next few hours

Thank you for returning the cutlery etc, although there was one Alessi knife short.  However, don't worry about it.
 
There doesn't look much left to take, so when you leave today could you send me an email or a text so that I can return and carry on with tidying and cleaning.
 
Please also leave the 2 sets of keys, yours and D12's.
 
Thanks,

WAP

No emotion - nothing - no mention of our history. Just please leave your keys on the table.
My heart is breaking _ I just cant believe the indifference. Is this still part of the MLC train/Covert Depression or am I just dealing with someone who quite simply DOES NOT CARE?

Bx

[bellagio88]

My response to WAP (email)

I will be gone by 2pm and will leave keys on the kitchen table

I wanted to be blank

Bx

[in it]

EXCELLENT!!!



Well let's see he's right down to counting the amount of knives he has and then taking the time to mention it. So I guess we are still having control issues.

The wall is up- don't try to counter with any emotion. Just focus on getting the rest of your things. Leave the keys and walk away and watch what happens.

 He should have NO reason to contact you after this correct? Or do you two have financial entanglements or insurances together?

[CallanG]

Hi B88,

My H also communicates in a very business like way , he sent me an email about the house once which I showed to my counsellor, she was shocked she said that it was not just cold but artic.

My own personal boundary is to ignore emails written in that tone , I will not let him treat me like that . I ignored to for two weeks and then he send a slightly less cold one which I replied to .

Callan

[bellagio88]

Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate it.
Do you think the coldness and indifference is a mask that they use in MLC ? Is this part if replay?
Am confused whether he is still in script or just completely severing.
Init we have no joint finances so yes, there is no reason to contact me now.
I can't believe I may NEVER hear from him again.
Am crying

X

[bellagio88]

I cant believe he mentioned this ONE knife.
Oh, and leave your keys on the table.
I feel; as if he is negated any of our history. There is no mention of our time together - totally and UTTERLY emotionally removed.
I cant say this is monster but it feels just as cruel.
And NO MENTION of D12 which is heart breaking...
x

I am so appreciative of your he[p everyone - from this afternoon here I will have done my job removing our life from his. And I will then probably fall flat. I have been holding strong for weeks to get to this point.
The reminder that it IS MLC and Cov/Dep helps me through somehow....

[in it]

Don't worry about hearing from him again. You FOCUS ON YOU and your daughter.

After this go NC and start to heal.

You are picking men who are unable to feel anything. Be happy you do. Even if it's pain.
Don't worry about scripts or masks- don't drag your feet- get the rest of your things and get right out of the way.

You need to work on your self worth issues.

When you leave? Don't even text or email to let him know- you already said you told him you'd be gone at 2 keys would be on the table. Let him come home to the house empty of your things.

That's it.

(((((HUGS)))))

[CallanG]

I once asked H why he was treating me so coldly , and he said he had to be like that otherwise I might think he cared and he does not .

He then went on to say he has no feelings for me and never will.

Well that told me

[in it]

Yep and how do you feel about that now callanG?

Send no mixed messages- your email was perfect Bellagio-

((((HUGS))))